Great hookup on a NYC visit, then silence — because of distance or disinterest?

[Anonymous]

Matched on Hinge and hit it off right away - great banter. Met the next day and had chemistry and long personal conversations. Hooked up at his place afterwards - twice. He wasn’t pulling back then. I texted him the next day and he replied warmly, but stopped once I implied I’d be open to meeting again. I live in Europe, he lives in NYC and I was leaving in two days. It was meant to be a one-off, but because there was a connection and I had fun I wanted to repeat before I left. Did he ghost because we live on different continents and due to him being practical or because it just wasn’t great for him?

Updates

9 mo

I‘ll be there quite often in the future. Should I tell him that or just leave it?

[HollyK21]

He felt a connection as well but why bother exploring those feelings when it won’t go anywhere? LDR’s are hard enough to maintain in different cities let alone different countries. He may not want you to get the impression that he’s interested in investing in that sort of dynamic, which I know you probably weren’t looking for in the first place but a guy who’s familiar with how women are would know that your emotions could take the lead.

[HollyK21]

Just leave it, he left your message alone for a reason. You aren’t desperate.

[Asker]

you‘re right :)

[SueShe]

In my opinion, he probably ghosted you because of the distance. Long distance relationships seldom work out because there are simply too many hurdles to overcome when you are more than 1 hour apart from each other.

Meeting once and having intercourse is fine for some but more than just once may imply that they may develop feelings that were not meant to be if you simply have a fling and a one night stand.

Any free sex is good for a guy and I don't think you were the problem really. As long as they can have that intercourse, most guys are more than just happy to get rid of some testosterone.

[HawkPerception]

He probably figured there was no point in continuing something that wouldn't last with a girl with low oxytocin levels.

[Asker]

I‘d say my oxytocin levels aren‘t that low considering I wanted to continue ;)

[HawkPerception]

Oxytocin levels go down per partner. The more partners you have, the less you have and therefore people who engage in hookups and seek them out, generally have much lower levels than those who don't.

[Asker]

if you say so 😂

[HawkPerception]

It's not about what I say. What I say matters little. This is what all studies say.

[Asker]

agreed: what you say matters little. that’s complete BS. hormones don‘t run out. you shouldn‘t talk about science if you don‘t understand it

[HawkPerception]

You're clearly very well read 😂

[beenherebefore]

It was just a one time thing for him nothing serious.

[Anonymous]

So many fails in just one post.