Long - distance... a relationship deal breaker?

[Anonymous]

How much does 'distance' matter to most guys? Like, if you really liked a girl... would you hold back if you lived a significant distance from each other?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks everyone for your comments and opinions. I've never been in this situation before and its good to get some perspective and hear from people who have been there

[Lefrancais]

I am in a long distance relation ship with someone right now. We are not official... unfortunately.. although i really want to be. The only reason we're not is because of distance and testing out how are life is while we're away because we're at two different points in our lives. So I'm doing everything to blend the difference and make things work. We definitely are very much into each other. I saw her last weekend and had the best weekend of our life. It was just awesome, brunch in DC, day drinking with a bunch of friends, dancing at night together to latin music, kayaking the next day, cuddling, sex, watching our tv show together with wine on the couch. It really made things feel ok, and I wouldn't change it for the world. I am willing to try my best because I know that when we're together.. we are in such a good mood together and every bad emotion gets washed away.

It can be a deal breaker in certain situations where for example.. if you're going to see that person once to 5 times a year... it's very... very tough to hold on to feelings. Especially physically emotional based people. If a girl is driven by the need to touch and be loved... the sudden loss of that for too long of a time, can destroy the relation ship. So yeah, in certain situations... it can be very tough to maintain. But... it does work... I believe in it. and i know my ass will be the best man I can be for her and show her that distance is nothing but a few digits.

[Asker]

Thank you very much for sharing... it's great to hear from someone with some personal experience. I have never been in this situation before... I've really fallen for a family friend of mine. We were introduced almost a year ago, he's my age, he's amazing. But, we live a 7 hour drive from each other :(. But, you've given me some hope. I won't give up just yet... it's too important to me :). All the best with your relationship

[Lefrancais]

yay, I'm glad I gave you the spark. I'm about 3h away from my girl. So it's not as bad... I have people who drive up to the area constantly on the weekend so it's never hard to find a ride. But 7h I can see that as a bit of a situation. I hope that you can plan visits. thats the most important.. once a month or so even once every couple months if you have to obvi. But Skype dates, Skype DINNER dates with candles (which i have yet to do... i need to tell my girl I want to do that while we both watch scandal) and phone calls, NOT everyday... or else they become less special. Also, look into "open when" letters online. I sent my girl a package with plenty of letters for her to open when she's in a type of mood. bored, can't sleep, misses me, sad, had a rough day. etc... Feel free to leave my answer most helpful if you feel it could help others. Glad to hear you're going to give it a chance !

[Asker]

Thanks, those are some great (romantic) ideas :). Good luck again to you and your girl

[Lefrancais]

thank you ! you tooooo

[Asker]

Thanks... fingers crossed :)

[cobrar97]

Long distance relationships generally don't work... and it's usually the girl who gets hurt. Just being honest. The girl looks at it through rose-colored glasses and the guy is doing stuff on the side. It's true that real love knows no distance, but that's just not how it plays out. If it's true love... then there is no distance... the two people are together like it's meant to be.
The guy WILL eventually stray (not that girls can't/won't too).

[Asker]

Thanks for being honest. Hmmm... a lot of food for thought :)

[cobrar97]

You've very welcome... everyone deserves the very best for themselves. You already know if this is the very best for you... go with that.

[Anonymous]

I'll just say, my relationship was seriously long distance for 9 months. It was the absolute worst, and I know that I could never go through something like that again. I would think you'd have to be pretty serious about each other and have a really solid idea of exactly how long the long-distance part will last for it to even have a chance of working out. And even then, it might not be enough for the relationship to survive.

There is a reason long distance is generally ill advised, but if you can make it work then more power to you.

[itsme_goodsamaritan]

I'm in one such relationship myself. You will find it funny coz we live in the same city, but my BF's a weird guy. He will give all the signals except admit to me that he loves me, so its not yet official. I used to really get mad that he won't meet me or even talk to me... but I keep troubling him once in a while by phone, and he's seems to be okay with that if I keep the conversation short :)

[Asker]

I hope things work out for you, good luck :)

[itsme_goodsamaritan]

Same to u :)

[misscoffeehead]

Sounds hard, i probably won't like it, BUT if my feelings were strong for him (vice versa) i would actually go and see him.. If i yearned for him that much, im on the next flight..

[rjroy3]

It all depends on the girl.
I'm currently in a long distance relationship for over 9 months now. I'm happy and it's not a deal breaker for me. But some girls I've dated in the past I would have never considered long distance

[Imtheone88]

No, I'd forget soon. We all know its not gonna work.

[vekin]

real love doesn't know any borders or distance!!

[Asker]

Positive thinking... thank you :)

[vekin]

yes that's me... unfortunately the girl wasn;t that positive thinking

[Anonymous]

i don't believe in ldr at all