LONG DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP- move on or wait?

[Anonymous]

so, me and my boyfriend been on and off since 2 years. im from Europe he's from the states.
we spent the last 3 months together and thought about getting married but he is not ready. when i got back i called him and he told me he is busy and doesn't wanna talk. since this happened very often I freaked out. so he told me i need to stop being needy and independent and this is what makes him think that getting married isn't a good idea. I told him if a phone call is too much for him he should reconsider if he is ale to be in a relationship and that I don't want to that was 2 days ago and i haven't heard from him ever since. I don't know what to do anymore. I was ready to move to the states and I love his family too. Im not materialistic but I have financial security with him. I dont know what to do anymore.

[SueShe]

LDR never work. He gave you just the best proof and you should learn your lesson.

Furthermore, moving to the US is about the worst idea. You will always be treated as a 3rd. class citizen. You are much better off staying in Europe.

He is slowly distancing himself because he believes you are too clingy. He is also obviously against getting married because he fears to be under pressure. Finally, a LDR always bears a risk because you are not physically present. Mainly in your age group, this is a serious issue with men because they have certain urges they are not willing to suppress.

By keeping you away, he secures his freedom to do things that you would not approve of.

Move on is your only reasonable option.

[artstatues]

SueShe, why did you say that moving to the US is the worst idea and that she will always be treated like a third class citizen? Do you mean that she will face racism, especially when she speaks with a foreign accent?

[SueShe]

@artstatues Yes, that is what I mean. The overall hostility prevailing in the US is a huge challenge for anyone wanting to emigrate to that country as well as towards colored people and other ethnic minorities.

[artstatues]

@SueShe Even if she moves to a big city with a multicultural/diverse population like Los Angeles, NY or Miami, where there are already many foreigners?

[SueShe]

@artstatues The issue is probably less acute if she moves into an ethnic area of a big city.

[Flower_Power]

I think you may need to move on. It sounds like he has. He also sounds toxic, too. There was probably some sort of a power dynamic in your relationship, wasn't there? Find someone who will love you for you. This is hard, I know. He just sounds inconsiderate. You're an amazing person who doesn't deserve to be treated like that.

Take some time to reflect on this relationship and what you could have done better. Then try to find someone else.

[crossdressingrihno]

You could still get it to work out although I think you dug yourself into a hole there

For future reference when things start to get heated it's better to just let them know that things are getting heated and that you both should back off for a bit and think things over

If you're sorry for upsetting him then you should probably contact his family let them know that you're sorry for upsetting him

Then after that I suggest you talk things over calmly and rationally and problem solve the issue tell him how you feel ask him how he feels things like that then calmly make a rational decision on what you should do also before you even try to get married you need to discuss prenup or no prenup

[Avicenna]

If you have no prospect of getting what you want out of the relationship, don’t stick around

[JoyGirl]

You need to express how you feel to about him acting the way he does. Long distance is no joke. It isn’t easy, and small things can be taken out of proportion very fast.
Express your emotion to him and communicate.

[HopeIess_Romantic]

I feel really bad saying this, but I feel like you need to move on. He's not showing any interest anymore, and wants to be left alone. Maybe you could try giving him some space for a while any try again a while later (as in a month or two later)

[SignedAutographs]

I don't get LDR's. I just don't. I mean, why. Why do people think they work?

[Melancholia0098]

Actually according to surveys, they have a success rate of approx 50% like normal relationships. I don't get people, who complain and criticize other people in LDR's. Like it's not your time or life. The question didn't say what's your opinion about LDR's

[YourToy69]

Move. Very difficult to work. 1% works

[Anonymous]

I really understand you we have same situation

[In_Trance]

Move on

[Melancholia0098]

Do you ever say more than two words loser