Does my boyfriend secretly dislike my body?

[Anonymous]

I was on the phone with my boyfriend earlier (he’s currently out of town) and we were joking about ways we’d react if the opposite gender were to approach us. He made a joke regarding a past experience and how he judged the girl based on her body type. I was like “oh?” and jokingly suggested that he probably dislikes my body because I’m not super skinny. Mind you, I’m not large. My bmi is around 21, so I’m a pretty average size. He kind of dodged the question and suggested that my body isn’t why he’s with me, but my personality. He didn’t reassure me about what I suggested at all. To make matters worse, he is aware of some problems I’ve had in the past regarding body imagine and my relationship with food…
Additionally, I am aware that I am attractive to a lot of people. I constantly have people, both male and female, hitting on me. I’m aware that I’m not extremely thin, but I’m not fat either…? Saying he’s with me for my personality is CRAZY. Considering he first approached me bcs he found me attractive and for being “his type”. Maybe I’m overthinking it but at the same time maybe he secretly feels a certain way?

Updates

8 mo

Additionally, I am Latina so I do have a 32D cup and wider hips

[Anonymous]

This is why men get frustrated. This wasn’t even about you, but you made it about you. If you’re unhappy w yourself then you need to fix that. It’s not his job to do that. Sure it not saying he should call you fat or put you down or whatever it is that you think he’s thinking. This is a you issue. Regardless of whether it’s him or a different man you’ll always have this issue. It’s never the other person’s job to make us completely happy. A big part of that responsibility falls on you. Men usually never go for pros south first, it’s usually looks then personality. But regardless of what he would have said you’d still find a way to make it into an issue. If he said he went after you because of his body then he just looks like a pig to most women. You would have said so the only reason you pursued me was because of my body, not my personality, or my ambition or this or that. But because he didn’t say your body now you’re making that an issue. He avoided it because he knew it’s going to lead to more questions on your part, you being upset, mad at him to which you’d probably hold out on him or punish him in some other way for making you feel this way. In reality you’ve always felt this way. That’s why he didn’t answer. If he had played along w your questioning you would have kept going, digging himself into a deeper hole.

[NYlatefun]

You sound amazing! I’d be very surprised if he wasn’t attracted to you.

[HollyK21]

Despite him being aware of your past struggles, I wouldn’t fault him for not knowing that you needed reassurance in that moment. You can’t expect him to basically be a mind reader and just know that you took offense to his comment, especially when you made light of the situation by jokingly suggesting that he isn’t satisfied with your body. Okay so he didn’t say what you needed to hear in that moment, but if you don’t communicate properly then he’s not going to have any idea what to do in certain moments, what to take seriously and when, etc etc.


Yes, it’s a touchy topic and I’m sure you sort of safeguard yourself when it comes to talking about that because you don’t wanna be perceived as a sick or troubled woman. But at least that discussion would give him the opportunity to respond differently in the future if or when a topic regarding weight comes up again.

[HawkPerception]

Well said! 💯🎯

[Unap0logetic_]

I don't know I would need more context to give a good opinion, but honestly from what you said it doesn’t sound like those were his intentions. I could be wrong however because you know him and I don’t.

[Nikki1989]

I doubt it. I have the feeling he is just a jerk-off.

[Paige90]

Does he have a good body? What's his BMI?

[BarryLiverstone]

Does not into your body

[BarryLiverstone]

Are you worried about it?