Should men have back up women?

Question

Because all levels of women are usually pursued (below average, average, above, cute, pretty, beautiful) thanks to fetishes, social media and how easy accessible sex is at any time for them not to mention how women can monkey branch in relationships and act on hypergamy (men in commitments might still be secretly competing with other men without even knowing it, with her work husband, guy friends, etc).. Because of all of this not to mention that women cheat just as much as men they are just way better at not getting caught.. should men of all success levels have back up women? Women seem to have back up men, or plans in place..

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

You’re not describing the average woman. You’re describing narcissistic women but narcissistic men also do this same thing. One person is never enough for these people rhey always need other sources of validation and attention. As well as just don’t feel much remorse therefore they have casual sex for no other reason besides pleasure.

Nothing is good enough for the narcissistic individual. No matter how good of a man you are, there is always someone or something better. They can be with a dude who checks all the boxes of what they think they want and they will still cheat. These women will eventually chase off any decent man and will be miserable unless they have major course corrections. Don’t try to fix them or save them from themselves… They have to want to do that.

It all goes both ways you mention women cheat as much as men which is probably true. Do all women cheat? No neither do all men. But LOTS of people do it when non narcissistic people for one reason or another.

Real relationships are about creating a deep connection and bond with someone whose compatible. It’s about having a best friend and someone whose not dispensable. Even good people in relationships end up failing because they don’t have genuine relationships. Narcissistic people cannot form or comprehend a genuine relationship.

To them it’s superficial and materialistic and they figure they can find someone better who has more. Other people to a narcissistic individual are simply for protection, material items, financial reasons, social status, resource, utility, and a bailout for their poor life choices. And while these all can be benefits to healthy relationships it’s not what it’s based on.

Most narcissistic people have however learned how to emulate a genuine relationship even if inside it makes them cringe. A narcissistic person will become resentful when you cnanot live up to unrealistic expectations. But will never offer anything in return unless there are strings attached.

You will see the red flags if you pay attention. Most people are too carried away by emotions. This goes for men and women. Men get carried away by emotions as much as women do.

ManOnFire · Accepted Answer

Women do not cheat as much as men, they cheat much more than men. And if we believe women can get sex, a date, or a relationship far easier than men, then it is impossible to believe women cheat less.

Having said that, do I think men should go out of their way to have all these "options" or backups just because women do? No. We should be the better person inspite of what they're doing. Women tend to end up hurting themselves much more than men by monkey branching and rolling in the hay with bunches of guys. I do not envy that like they want us to.

Amy_Mi · Accepted Answer

No, treating relationships as a plan B diminishes integrity and respect.

Connection isn’t a strategy, it’s alignment, energy, and mutual care.

A man who maintains a backup mindset shows insecurity, not wisdom.

Real attraction and trust thrive in focus and clarity, not in contingency plans.

Wuai201 · Accepted Answer

Oh heck no I know I'm not the one to talk but if I ever had a guy who wanted a backup woman, he would of been right to get one because I would be gone. Ironic yes, but best of luck because I would be out of the equation.

Finchie40 · Answer

Why be in a relationship at all if you want a back up plan , just stay single and find FWB’s

EzraIsShy76028 · Answer

Well, yes and no, though not necessarily for the same reasons you may be thinking.

I see it as a not putting your eggs in one basket type of thing. Like if you have a best friend but one day you have a big fight and it's over, you have your second, third, fourth, etc, best friend as back ups to fall back on rather than having your social life completely over because you lost your best and only friend.

For romantic relationships I guess it also depends on how long you've known the woman/how close you are to them. If it's someone you're just getting to know it makes sense to have back up women as you barely know anything about them. But if it's someone you know very well and love then having back up women is kind of strange because if your love is so strong why would anyone compete as a back up? Unless of course you've been unhappy for a very long time in your relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

I think women need a serious “come to Jesus” moment these days. They get so much attention and validation due to cell phones and social media. And don’t even get me started on OF…

They need to be alone. Men need to stop simping so hard, paying them money for simply existing. They need to experience reality and they clearly are not. And they think they are so much better than the average man, but would they last a day in his shoes? I really don’t think so. And the audacity they have to demand and treat them the way they do… Think about that.

I don’t think that men need to do anything but to simply continue bettering ourselves. Because going to the extent of having a roster just perpetuates the issue. I think women really need to be humbled more than anything.

lucas262 · Answer

I would date several women. As dates, no one is exclusive until their a girlfriend. They can date other people, play games, they can dress how they want, go where they want, have as many guy friends as they want. Only the good one goes to girlfriend status. And she may not get the ring.

This goes back to those thing nobody teaches you but yoi figure out. Society lied, your parents lied to you. Women will lie to you because the truth makes them look bad. But lying in my opinion makes them look worse. Women need competition. They need anxiety, drama. To some degree, nothing crazy usually. They wanna be the one who is picked. And they want ,, social proof,, if other women want you, your suddenly much more attractive to her. And because I want my girlfriend to be most attracted to me ill play these dumb games to bring it out of her.

msc545 · Answer

I think it is only justified that men have backup women as well. As you point out accurately. Women have a lot easier time finding sex and intimacy with men than men do with women and there is no reason that men should have to be completely deprived of everything once a woman leaves them. Women are not anymore faithful than men are and in many cases are less faithful. I don't think any man can depend on a woman being a faithful to him for any serious length of time and thus the presence of a backup person would be good for him.

jazzy34 · Answer

I don't think men or women should have "back up" people. That's disrespectful to your current partner. To me, that's having one foot out the door. Personally, you're with me or you're not. If I find out you have a roster, you can have all of them, for all I care. Bye-bye.

OneViewpoint · Answer

No thanks. One woman at a time. Female friends, yes. But they are legitimate friends, not women queued up in a “friend zone”. There is zero chance it will ever cross over into romance. They are for group get togethers in social settings. Not hanging out one on one. And I make that perfectly clear.

NobodyXox · Answer

Why are you with her if you don't see a future with her or if you don't trust her?  If you are thinking about getting a back up plan just break up already. Your gut is telling you she isn't the one..

Joshydavid25 · Answer

No, not if it's getting into serious relationship territory.. There are plenty of good women who just wants to build life with someone they love.. I'd rather find one of them even if sometimes it seems like finding a needle in a haystack..

Nikki1989 · Answer

You’d fail a personality test. You better work on that first.

Kabluie · Answer

You can also be non-monogamous relationships where no one is a 'backup', just everyone can be called partner. It can be nice because we want to date people with many different interests, on-top of sex.

Flower7 · Answer

No because that would indicate that he is not fully focused on his current relationship. It also opens the door toward cheating.

Kelley1 · Answer

Men should seek out the best they can have but they need one or more backup women in case their first choice doesn't work out.

MzAsh · Answer

Men are meant to compete for one woman. If they could swing having backups, they would, but they don’t because they can’t.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Obviously a man should have a roster of women. This is why it's so important for a man to build himself up so he isn't stuck tolerating one women. Woman will always say no because they want to keep sexual leverage.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

At this point, yea. It's almost a necessity

i_Jedi · Answer

Nah, if you need backups, you’re not ready for something real. Like Jared Laurence says, focus on becoming high-value first.. the right woman won’t need a backup plan.

Ariesman81 · Answer

If you think about it... a woman monkey branching just means she couldn't secure plan A. They'd like you to think plan B is better, but... it's plan B for a reason

HighValue · Answer

No. Having a "backup person" is cheating.

Anonymous · Answer

looks like u are looking at women like trophies , not humans. When u truly love a women u wouldn’t think this way

Alex-Snow · Answer

I do not think so but if they need one go for it I guess. Should women have a back-up guy?

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

I've never pursued an ugly broad, but they way many women treat men today, a lad may have no other choice but to have a backup babe.

Anonymous · Answer

I can't have any girl I like, and I'm not desperate, so I won't be with just about any woman... I have no valid options.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah, go and have friends with benefits as much as you can there are women out there thinking similar to your thinking

DrPepper12 · Answer

Yeah. She's called Mom.

Chthou95 · Answer

Most men don't have a backup woman

Anonymous · Answer

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