Do women just want men to stand up for themselves

Question

I suppose doing this shows that a man can take control and women love when men are in control (or so I'm told).

I was watching an old episode of "My Wife and Kids" where Franklin has to decide between making Katie the lead singer, or lose her as his girlfriend. He decides to keep his current singer but she eventually tells him that she was wrong to give him that sort of ultimatum.

So do women really just want men to stand up for themselves?

vonSteuben · Accepted Answer

Yes. however, culture and media is something that effects how people behave in a society and should not be overlooked as deterministic factors in gender specific issues. For Example there are cultures that women and men are assigned certain roles such as tribes in the amazon or in Islamic countries even India which is mostly Hindu, Men and Women are assigned very specific roles due to gender. Also it should be noted that these roles may change in a society due to the income level of the family. For Example in India a woman may have more of a say so in the household of a welathy family, where as in poor families in that same Hindu majority society a women may have little to no rights and say so. Having established that, I personally was able to fall in love with a beautiful woman and do her bidding at her whim, as I personally perfer chivalry. As most American women have been trined to do, she walked all over me, and broke my heart. It was most likely the worst mistake she ever made as now she is unhappily married to a money maker go getter who is pretty much everything she DOESN'T respect in a man. He is not outdoors'y , he barely can ski. He tries to be sporty but, it's just not him. So in the end she had to compromise and marry a provider to enable her shopping addiction. This is extremely common in the world today. Consumerism drives the culture and women seek sociopathic / sometimes psychotic, men who will do anything to "stand up for themselves" and make as much $$ as possible. So be it. Ladies, life is compromise, if you want a solid man, dont test him, I have never mett a solid man that I respect and would want my daughter to marry, who will "stand up" to a naggy overbearing women. Someone posted before that any man allows them selves to be walked over will be "manipulated and destroyed" by the women in their life. Who want's a person capable of that in their life?

animalwithin · Accepted Answer

Here I go again with my theory on the devolution of man. Guys today are scared, little, whimpy boys trapped in grown men's bodies. Of course women want men to stand up for themselves but there is so much more to it! Women want guys to be men! The same men who back in primitive times braved the danger of nature just to supply food and shelter for their families and tribes. The same men who existed in ancient times and lived and died for their honour, pride, dignity, and family. Women want men who are driven by their inner instincts to become the best they can be, men who protect those they love at all times, men who are strong and confident in themselves, who stand up for what they believe in at all costs even if they world is against them and who relentlessly pursue the things in life they want to accomplish.

So yes, in short women want men who can confidentley make decisions for themselves and then stick to those decisions.

Freetobe007 · Accepted Answer

Yes. It's very important for grown adults (really, anyone, but especially grown adults) to be able to stand up for themselves and stand up against something that is wrong. I don't think it's about always being in control, I think it's more about being able to take control. I think relationships are like teams and it's important that you can rely on your team member to be strong and take control sometimes. It's also very comforting like it's nice to know that your man has got your back and will go toe to toe with someone if he needs to or even just be strong in defending you if he has to. I can definitely tell the difference when there's a guy who doesn't stand up for themselves and when there's a guy who does. There's a huge difference. I feel I need a guy who can be assertive because I have a very strong, assertive personality and I need someone who can match that otherwise I might just end up bossing the guy around. Not intentionally, but I'm just very headstrong and I think it may happen naturally without me meaning to.

pineappleshortcare · Accepted Answer

I don't know that show, but a lot of times, they show a character (in this case Katie) behaving foolishly to show a point. Katie was being selfish to assume that her boyfriend should sacrifice the band's quality and integrity.

Women love men who know what they want from life and create healthy boundaries. A guy doesn't have to push a woman around or never talk to her about her input on a decision that effects them. But someone who bends over backwards to appease someone and then passively hates it is not attractive -- in a male or female. Strong relationships are built on compromise, not one person trampling the other.

windy-rose · Accepted Answer

I'd like for any person (male or female) to be able to hold their own in a respectable manner.

It can get annoying at times when whoever your around never makes any decisions. That leaves you constantly wondering if they actually are cool with it, or if their just going along. This applies to friends, family, relationships, co-workers. Anyone.

I'd say most woman would be into a dash of that 'decision making gentleman.' The occasional sweeping off the feet. That kind of occasional control is 90% welcomed time to time.

Being a control everything fanatic is not.

kholland65 · Answer

Whats most disturbing though is not the fact that as men we are required to stand up for ourselves and our beliefs. I'm fine with that. The problem is that women put us in predicaments like this that make you feel like there is no right answer.

There is a name for this (can't remember what), buts its something women do, where they pose a question that really has no right answer, no matter what you say or do, she will have room to get mad. In a sense, they are testing us, which I don't like. A mature women would not test men with trick questions more or less. Using your example, a mature women would say, "hey, this other girl is a better singer, so I'll just step down", or "Franklin you can decide who the singer will be, but its OK whoever you choose, I will still love you either way". See the difference between a mature way of handling it and how Katie handled it (the way most women would handle it).

Tamikaze · Answer

TV is cute, it's funny, but it doesn't necessarily show real life.

In a real life situation like this, it could go either way. Depends on whether you are dating someone who is self-centered and wants what they want, no matter what, or if you are dating someone who is open to recognizing they have flaws.

I have seen people get mad at a friend or a loved one, saying they don't have their back, over something like this. A girlfriend could well think they would make an excellent lead singer and think you were being mean or disloyal. Some people are very out of touch with their talents.

kereru · Answer

Yes.

you can't respect someone who gives up their beliefs and convictions as soon as it becomes nessecary to defend them or for the sake of being liked... even if they give them up for you... it just shows they have no backbone, no moral character.

often being "the nice guy" is really taking the easy way out, just pleasing people and tellng them what they want to hear instead of the more difficult road of confronting someone with the truth or letting them know how you really feel.

women don't want men who will just kiss our feet in adoration and do our bidding, we want men who are good, who will stand up for themselves and aren't afraid to challenge us.

udolipixie · Answer

Do women just want men to stand up for themselves? Generally yes as it's not a gender thing but a people thing as it's something expected in most adults and most people don't have respect for someone that can't stand up for her/himself whether they agree to or like the position the s/he stands up for.

I doubt the majority or general population of gals would want a guy they don't respect who doesn't fulfill basic adult expectations. Especially as many gals take a guy standing up for himself to be an insight on how well he'll stand up for her.

-ananyme · Answer

no one who isn't able to stand for themselves deserve my respect.

why ? because if you don't respect your own opinions and yourself enough to expose them to other people, and believe you need to say what others think or expect, then I see no point in giving you my respect.

so yes, guys (but also girls) need to stand for themselves, otherwise no one (with a brain) will want to stand by their side

brookeh09 · Answer

I love that show :]

Yes, women like when men stand up for themselves. Who would respect someone that just gave in to anyone and made themselves look weak? Noone. Girls want their men to be able to put their foot down and stand up for what they think is the right thing to do.

dave32xxx · Answer

this question and discussion has really helped me realize that I'm letting myself get walked all over and with the girls comments I now undurstand that its not sexy.sometimes I gues I'm like that becouse I would think I'm being undurstanding but viewing it as a third party I don't like what she does.im gonna make changes definitely

pr3ttybr0wn · Answer

Yes. I don't respect guys, or really anyone, who doesn't stand up for themselves Not only should he stand up for himself,but people he cares about like me and his family and stand up for what's right. No one wants a spineless punk lol you want a man who can stand up.

cazza3 · Answer

Yes. That's the difference between a good guy and a nice guy. No one wants to be with someone they can walk all over, it gets dull and boring. Give me a guy that stands by his convictions and has a little passion in him

kimsparrow · Answer

ah I love that series! umm... well not all woman like it. some may prefer a sensitive/ shy guy. but if I had to choose I think I would go for a guy that can be sensitive and gentle but can stand up for himself and his loved ones. it'll make him look strong and brave :)

HeroOfVillains · Answer

Ye I learnt the hard way. I was too in love with a girl and I let her step all over me. She just f***ing threw me out without any explanation. Now I just do me, and what I want. Get called selfish all the time by women that date me but at the end of the day they will never leave me.

DebiPie · Answer

I think women want men & women to stand up for themselves.

I know I want all people to do this. It is a learned behavior, one that many parents and caregivers do not teach their children.

It is unbecoming to see someone being "walked all over" by another person. So of course we especially do not want to see this in our mate.

Konnour · Answer

As a decent man you are supposed to stand for yourself.. whether women want it or not. Straight women would prefer you to do so.. while feminist harpies would rather prefer you don't.

NayaAbouzaid · Answer

One Word : Compromise

Sometimes I win and Sometimes he does

If he's in control ALL THE TIME , I will feel trapped

And If he Gives ME CONTROL ALL THE TIME I will feel like I'm alone , like there is no partnership .

So to answer your Question : YES women want men who stand up for themselves but they also want men who are willing to give in from time to time .

Love that Show bw ;D

daytrader · Answer

If you're watching old episodes of "My Wife and Kids" to try to figure out what women want, you've got a LONG way to go.  First of all, men that can get women don't care about what women want, they care about their own success.  If you are successful in life, you can get any woman.

May31 · Answer

Yeah pretty much. To watch someone insult a guy or anything like that & have them not do anything about it, is an agonizing feeling. Or anything else like that for that matter. It's like watching someone being stepped on - it's just horrible.

Belgie · Answer

Yes.

You'd be surprised how much basic relationship stuff (which happens to be true) winds up on TV as part of the plots you see.

The reason it does, is because most people can see it and identify it and recognise it.

TheRealAttila · Answer

Doesn't matter whether they want you to or not, you should do it out of respect for yourself.

candlewax · Answer

I want PEOPLE to stand up for themselves. I don't have a lot of respect for those who allow themselves to be walked all over and not stand up for themselves when necessary.

hot_princess7 · Answer

YES  a thousand times YES I literally tell men what to do as a challenge - I dare you to defy me. If you do... damn that is sexy.

frustratedchump06 · Answer

men and women are not the same and do not find the same traits attractive

ihatetakingcharge · Answer

i hate how guys have to be perfect everything but girls don't have to

irishgal · Answer

I wouldn't bother with a girl who gave that kind of ultimatum!

Nomoremrniceguy · Answer

nope they want you to let people walk all over you.. standing up for yourself?!? ludicrous!

supervixxen · Answer

not stand up for themselves, but stand up for THEM. sometimes it just can't happen...

GymStatus · Answer

If I got an ultimatum I would stand up and tell her I am done lol... Some women don't care. I just depends on the person in the relationship

asianfreak · Answer

it would be way better if EVERYONE was capable of standing up for themselves.

HateBeingSingleAspie · Answer

yeah, primal instincts

sp1213 · Answer

Yes...in the end they'll respect you for it.

MikeK · Answer

Only when it suits them...

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