If you could change one common ‘rule’ or expectation in modern dating, what would it be?

[DreamCrescent]

i would honestly want to skip the whole process lol

[ohsheeT]

I'm with you when you date it's like everything is premeditated

I would rather just do some spontaneous and enjoy it

[OlderAndWiser]

I was dating until December 2020, when I met Ms. Helen, who is now my wife.

When I was dating, I was fairly happy with the process and wouldn't really change anything.

[Spencer10]

That its men who are expected to ask the woman out... its no longer relevant.

[Shiprex]

Expectations of making all the initiation moves.

[Pohjolan]

That men should be able to tell apart cockteasing and real flirting.

[DreamCrescent]

i’m not sure about this. seems specific to a certain experience

i’ll help with a hint : the women at a strip club are not flirting. that’s a safe assumption

[Pohjolan]

That's as helpful as sharks are in water.

[DreamCrescent]

i know lol. sarcasm generally is

[Pohjolan]

Sarcasm is supposed to be humorous or ironic.

[DreamCrescent]

come on it was funny

[msc545]

The expectation that men ask women out first and pay for everything.

[Kelley1]

Bring back arranged marriages.

[DreamCrescent]

i think they’re making a comeback

matchmaking at least. you have to trust they have your best interest in mind or have confidence they can read a birth chart skillfully

[msc545]

Interesting idea, but why?

[DreamCrescent]

i’m divorced. gave the wrong person a chance

i guess a the notion of a little guarantee. a little assurance?

[msc545]

I'm not sure anybody else is better at it than I am. Although the truth is I'm terrible at it, so I guess it may not even matter. Actually, I'm done with this all together.

[DreamCrescent]

are you bitter and jaded?

[msc545]

A bit, yes. Lousy marriage, nightmare divorce.

[DreamCrescent]

same here. but the hopefulness comes back with healing

and you see the glass half full again. guarded but optimistic

[msc545]

I'm sorry to say this, but I quite literally do not trust women in personal relationships, and particularly in romance. That said, I do have actually five or six female friends that I do trust implicitly, but these are women I've known for years, and also women that some of them, at least, are women that I've worked with for a long time. So I have some experience with them that helps me to trust them. None of them is a prospect for romance. It's very hard for me to place any faith or trust in women that I meet who seem interested in me, and that happens from time to time. Unfortunately, I just can't bring myself to respond to it anymore.

[DreamCrescent]

how long ago was your divorce?

i hope for peace and solace for you. perpetual distrust and cynicism is no way to live

respectfully though, i could say the same about men 🤷‍♀️. yet life knocks you down and you’re meant to get back up and be vulnerable again knowing heartbreak is always going to be a risk

[msc545]

I am not hopeful...

[msc545]

There's nothing that makes any sense about repeatedly sticking your head in a meat grinder and then hoping to come out without being in too much pain or bleeding too much. Honestly, it's just not worth it. Some of this may have to do with the fact that I live in Los Angeles, which is kind of the BS capital of the world in many ways.

[Kelley1]

@DreamCrescent I hope so. Arranged have been more successful in the past. Parents and matchmakers are wise enough to match couples based on their attractiveness, desirability, and compatibility. Young women chase after the hottest guys that will date them and reject guys in their league that would marry them. It is not until they are near 30, and have lost much of their bloom, that women finally realize men date down for sex but marry equals.

[Jennz6]

Wear a condom

[DreamCrescent]

😳

i thought that was a given?

[Jennz6]

@DreamCrescent
You would think so