What are your standards in dating and have they changed over time?

Question

In the beginning I wanted a BMW (black man with a job) old joke, College degree family oriented, honest, Music lover, dependable, trustworthy, handyman, understanding , open, adventures, Taller than me I’m 411, And a few other things

Now

Now that I’m older. learning about other cultures. Being more open minded about people and their stories. what is standard of changed a lot.

MikeInHawaii · Accepted Answer

As little dating as I did while younger, I would have gone out far less if I could live me life over.

I went out with a few women who smoked. I can’t stand cigarette smoke, so this would obviously make us incompatible. And, in addition to being a nasty, disgusting habit, the fact a woman smokes shows she’s so susceptible to peer pressure that she will poison herself to go along with the crowd.

Radio host, Neal Boortz, used to tell parents of daughters “If she’s smoking, she’s stroking.” I once read a study that 99% of adult female virgins were non-smokers, confirming what Boortz was saying. If she’s so susceptible to peer pressure, she can’t resist something her body naturally finds repulsive, she probably can’t resist something her body finds pleasurable. I noticed in high school the biggest sluts were smokers.

Drinking in moderation is okay, but I would also not go out with anyone who binge drinks, one of the most popular past times when I was in college. Drunken women usually can’t keep their panties on, so there’s no trust, there. I see trust as the most important part of a relationship.

ArrowheadSW · Accepted Answer

I think my standards are similar now to the past, but I'm able to see the red flags easier now.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Nah, I hardly change.
#MyStandardsAndPreferences
—Within 0-3 years of my age, Height 5’7-6’3 with a lean to avg build (ex. flat tummy, nice chest, toned arms), Little to no body hair, Nice smile, Little to no piercings/tats
—Straight/male-born male (not bi/trans).
— Goofy, respectful, sweet, nurturing, caring, talkative, courageous, protective, faithful, and not an arrogant/know-it-all.
— Has a strong work ethic, believes in God, Hardly cusses, doesn't Smoke, Hardly Drinks, Wants Kids While in his 20s, Great Kisser, Loves Boobs/Foreplay/Making Out, Has had fewer than 5 sexual partners, Not into anal/period sex, Occasionally Works Out, Loves TV shows/movies, Expects a strong emotional connection to come long before sex, Hardly games, Enjoys Theme Parks, Not Big on Politics, Not gun crazy, Rarely Uses Sarcasm, Lonewolf Mentality, Hopeless Romantic, Ambitious, and willing to live in the southern states

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I grew up around a diverse group of people so religion/culture/race, those things were never a hard no for me, even disabilities aren't a no for me (my first boyfriend had one). I've always had the same standard, which is treat me well, be respectful of others, have some sort of dream or passion in your life that you're going after, a bit of romance is always nice, and that's about it. I never wanted to limit myself to anyone except those that most people would agree are bad for you, like abusive types.

Avicenna · Answer

They've gotten stricter over time, especially in the past few years. When I was young, she just had to be nice, fun to be with, a non-smoker/non-drug user, childless, and be interested in doing at least some of the same activities I enjoyed. Now I consider her spending habits, her overall financial situation, her interest in physical fitness, her intelligence, intellectual curiosity, height, her interest in travel, her dietary habits, interest in having a family, her values, and her ability to deal with adversity in life and in relationships.

After you've taken a chance on some women who don't meet most of those standards (one almost met none of them), you learn that while it may seem to be too many, it's necessary just to ensure compatibility and isn't a value judgement on an individual woman.

Sixgunsound · Answer

When I was a teenager, if her hole was wet and we could figure out where and when that was good enough for me. I also had no self confidence and hadn’t lived or worked long enough to bring much to the table. Now that I’m older and more experienced and have something to offer, I have standards and the confidence in myself to demand them. I think this is how most men are; born poor die rich in sexual market value, where women begin adulthood with a high SMV which declines in late 20’s just when men are hitting career and financial and maturity level and personality stride.

Anonymous · Answer

My standards have stayed the same in pretty much every way except for age. Before I met my now husband the youngest I'd even consider dating was 2 or 3 years younger (and even then I was hesitant). However, he's 15 years younger. It took quite a bit of effort on his part, but he eventually won me over. We've been married for 4 years and have 2 children together. I'd never have guessed it, but he's easily the best relationship I've ever had!

exitseven · Answer

I did not really have standards besides physical looks when I was younger. After I had a string of bad relationships I started to look for people who had a common set of values with me. I wanted to b with somebody who I could sit and spend an afternoon with and not look at my watch every 5 minutes because I could not wait to get rid of her.

FearedMoose · Answer

It’s definitely because most guys at my school have gotten out of their overly-sexual phase, but I used to be fine if my crush objectified me because at least he saw me attractive and liked me. I see now how flawed that mindset was and now I’m intensely turned off by people relating me sexually unless it’s someone i’m very comfortable with/dating seriously

Smoke-n-Growls · Answer

My standards have raised significantly.

Childfree, must be employed and have career ambition, must be active (to keep up with my own active hobbies), must be kinky, communication skills are a must, must be honest, they have to be competent, and they have to have had previous relationships and lived on their own.

New additions include being enby or a woman (if men, only bisexuals and trans men), ideally not cis, and PoC.

big_ben_007 · Answer

No drama. And lets both grow on a daily basis to be the best version of ourselves. Thats pretty much it. If we vibe, we vibe. If we dont then this is my stop and ima get off the bus.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I used to want the hottest girl possible and sluttier like strippers and stuff like that. But now as i got older and dated those girls i realized they are fun only girls not worth dating. Virginity is highly highly important as well as conservative Christian values. Basically people who value family vs people who dont. Obvious choice.

NYCQuestions1976 · Answer

Well, I'm divorced, I work full time, and I'm a full-time single parent. So I look for interesting attractive women with common free time.

legalboxers · Answer

standards are someone normal. someone with some form of education and a brain

Anonymous · Answer

I used to want pussy and didn’t care about the rest as long as she wasn’t fat. Now I want loyalty and discovered that it is almost extinct. So I just keep chasing non-fat pussy.

zagor · Answer

Pretty much down to pulse and vagina.

BungusHighFivePizza · Answer

hot girls same standards still

Anonymous · Answer

Yes over time my standards have changed.

stargazeraug1989 · Answer

Are you black yourself?

NathanDavis · Answer

never had any... lol

JohnK123 · Answer

Some respectful girl who’s cute and smart

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