Is there anything stopping you from dating?

[Anonymous]

I like men, don’t get me wrong. But the thought of ending up dating a guy who is overly sexual, jerks off constantly, and asks questions regarding his dick makes me want to remain single.
Like 1 If you’re going to be touchy, at least wait until we’ve been dating for a while. Cause if we just started dating and you’re groping me, you’ll be gone by the next business day. 2 the constant jerking off is just disgusting to me, like do you not have hobbies… or something else to fill your time? Why are you ruled by your penis, can you not control yourself? 3 I don’t want to hear questions like “is my dick big?” “Do you like my dick?” Because now I’m just going to answer with “no”. Also the whole sex is a “want” not a “need” thing is very self explanatory, because why do I “need” to have sex with you? I should want to. i just want a normal dude that isn’t controlled by his dick, actually has hobbies, and doesn’t feel like he’s entitled to my body because we’re dating. But apparently that’s way too much to ask for.

[HawkPerception]

Money mostly. Living with my mom still at almost 32 years old is pretty pathetic by most girl's standards. And I don't drive. Just a broke bloke trying to get his life together slowly.

Other than that, I'll arrogantly say I'm a pretty decent dude. I don't talk about sex 24/7. I have hobbies and interests. I really enjoy learning and jumping into one rabbit hole after another. I'm a pretty decent conversationalist (I think). I'm pretty fit and proud of what I'm capable of physically. I'm kind and helpful to everyone until they prove they don't deserve my kindness. Then I'm no pushover.

I'm confident once I get my life in order, I'll find someone pretty soon after. I have no trouble socializing and seeking scenarios to meet people, whether it's at a bar, traveling, etc.

I will say this to address your own concerns. Sex matters in a relationship. Yes, it can be distasteful when it's all a man talks or seems to care about, but any straight man does think about it and want it. You come across almost asexual when you talk about it with the disgust that you do and that is a major turn off for any guys. Sex is what differentiates a friendship from a relationship. It's what bonds a couple emotionally and physically.

When I'm in a relationship, I do tend to ask my partner how the sex was because I want to make sure they're enjoying it. I ask them how I can improve. And honestly, there are times when I am insecure about my dick size and ask them about that. My partners did get irritated with it sometimes, but they were patient and tried to humour me, and affirm that it was sufficient, which I genuinely appreciated.

[Asker]

I’m not an asexual lol. I also don’t mind that it’s a turn off to guys. The thing is when a guy is constantly overly sexual or just keeps mentioning sex over and over and over again I no longer want to have it with them. I didn’t say that sex doesn’t matter in a relationship but why would I want a relationship with a man when he’s making the entirety of the relationship just about sex?
I mean… it’s just not it for me.
Growing up my father once I turned 18 told me if a man is overly sexual and only talks about sex that he isn’t the man for me, which i definitely agree with.
Also about “bonding”, people in this world continuously “bond” with people for one night then leave so is it really “bonding”? I personally don’t want to have sex twice a day every single day a week.
But as I’m also getting older I’m just kind of okay with being single, I mean realistically why should I even date? Since all everyone really talks about is sex? I don’t want to be in a relationship where sex is all it’s about. A man can’t provide me with anything financial in a relationship as I work and almost have enough for a house in savings. Emotionally I have parents and friends. I’m just in a point in my life where there’s no fit for a man at the moment, especially one who would potentially feel like he’s entitled to my body whenever he feels like it.
But I just don’t want to end up with a guy who can only think about sex and only wants sex, and I’m not saying every single guy is like that. But when every dude you run across is trying to have sex with you it just gets to a point where it’s annoying.

[HighValue]

1. No physical intimacy = friends, NOT a relationship.

2. You need to find someone that has hobbies in common then because if they don't, they are doing their hobbies separately, which means you aren't as good as friends.

3. WTF are people doing asking questions about their D? Or with sending pictures of it? Smartphones just added to the moral corruption and stupidity of most people.

[Asker]

I’m okay with physical intimacy, I’m just not doing it on dates or within the first month or two of dating.
Yeah I receive way too many d pics it’s actually disgusting, not sure what’s sexy about receiving an unsolicited dick pic from a Guy you were supposed to go on a date with but safe to say I cancel dates if a man sends me a dick pics

[DailyFairy]

I had a friend and we weren't even dating but he used to tell me like he is having a hard time at work because he is always on mood, at first i tot maybe he really does hv hard time but then he laughed at it. Why was he even telling me that, some men are just weird. May god protect us from these kind.

[Tereza07]

It seems like you met a horrible guy and now think all man are the same. I mean in some things they might be, but what you describe is like 5% of biggest jerks on planet.
Just try to find a good guy for you

[Asker]

Umm… yeah bud I hate to be the one to break it to you but men love love to be jerks to women of color. Hope that helps

[Tereza07]

you're just making assumtions again, not everyone is the same...

[Asker]

Uh.. let’s not add the “assumptions” part. I’m a women of color honey I know exactly what happens to me and what’s said to me. So let’s not start that but you’re trying to run.
I assume you white based on your profile? It’s easy for you lol. I mean at least you won’t be called a monkey or are n1gger. Hope that helps

[Tereza07]

you're not listening to me...
Im truly sorry if this happens to you, im just trying to tell you that all guys are not like this, you actually described maybe 5% of the biggest jerks.
Dont lose your hope you can always find a nice gentleman

[Asker]

“If”? I just said what happens to me lol, there is no “if”’s. And yeah I am “listening”.
Here’s the thing on top of the race thing, if you are attractive to men you will not receive the jerks as much as others do. You won’t get the same interactions I’ve had with guys that you have. So you can only really speak based off your own experiences, just like you won’t know how it feels or have the experience of being called a racial slur and being made fun of by a group of guys. Maybe 5%? It’s definitely more than 5% men are jerks to women that do not find attractive, if you go search it up or do a bit of research you would see that a lot of women get treated like shit by jerks just because guys didn’t find them attractive.
You “pretty privileged” people can only state from what experiences you have, and you guys definitely have better experiences than others. Especially if you’re a white woman.
But hey there isn’t anything to lose hope for or even hope for to begin with, because you shouldn’t have to “hope” that a man is a gentleman and isn’t a jerk. But we live in a world where a man that is actually a gentleman and actual wants to be in a relationship is very rare.

[Tereza07]

Look i thought I can help you or at least cheer you up. But it seems like you just want play a victim here and bitch about men...

[Asker]

Play victim? Or more so explaining what my experience with men has been so far? Seems like you mixing things up a bit. You said this: you're just making assumptions again. Which I responded with what happened as there was no assuming on my part at all.
Cheer me up? I’m not one to tell anyone how to cheer something up, but if I reread what I said again the first thing I would think of is saying would be that the color of your skin doesn’t reflect what your worth is or who you are.
Bitch about men? Hmm… well considering the question above doesn’t correlate to your initial response…. The question was regarding if anything is stopping you from dating. Which in the details no where did I state that I’ve chosen any men or have been with ANY men. I stated that I wouldn’t want to be with a man for certain reasons. So not really bitchin at all.
But hey you seem a teeny bit upset so I won’t say anything else that might upset you even more, lol.
Didn’t know talking about experiences and detailing what I wouldn’t want a guy to be like in a relationship was bitching. Geez….

[Tereza07]

You seem upset definetly not me 😂
Your making assumption that all the man are the same. You didn't say it directly but you think that normal man are extremly rare. You didn't say what happened to you with your ex or whoever, you generalized that almost all men are like this. Thats what I find ridiculous.
And well i reacted to your post, not to your question since it seem like question is just cover-up so you can bitch about men...

[Asker]

Um… girl pop I didn’t mention and ex cause I don’t got one lol. Me upset? I’m sitting here with my sister laughing at your comments back, and she’s genuinely confused why a woman who is white said I’m assuming when it comes to me commenting regarding women of color lol. You can definitely find it ridiculous but then again you are 18, and haven’t really been exposed to racism or men treating you like shit for your looks or color 😁. Bitching about men hmm.. let me think…. If I were to want to bitch about something at 3:43 am what exactly would it be 🤔 definitely the flight I just bought for almost a grand due to late booking since I’ve been working overtime and forgot to book it last week.
But other than that I have no reason to be upset at all, I’m watching YouTube with my sister while we look at your comments wondering why your responding like your mad about me stating my experiences and expectations from a man. And the funniest thing about is…. Drum roll please…. I never mentioned meeting any guys like that in my details, I said I didn’t want to be with a guy who does those things

[Asker]

And also where did I generalize men in total? Cause I clearly started off with: I like men, don’t get me wrong. But the thought of ending up dating a guy who is. And never mentioned all guys did any of those things lol. Maybe you should go ahead and take another trip through reading comprehension, or simply reread the details you were basing you comment off of. Cause there’s no generalization about men at all. And how exactly do I know I didn’t? Because no of the men in the comments mentioned it at all… unless you are a man..

[Tereza07]

In your original comment you didn't say anything about your race and I was never talking about it lol 😂 and also didn't say you have an ex I just wanted to say you didn't talk about your experience you just generalized all men. You clearly can't understand what im trying to tell you and its getting boring so im done ✌️
Just so you know and didn't mean anything bad towards you

[Asker]

I didn’t mention my race in the original post because I was talking about what I DONT want in a man, lol. I mentioned race because you mentioned 5% are jerks… which there are definitely more than 5%. There’s no generalization at all. Generalizing would be me saying that all men degrade women in bed and that all men are abusers. So where was the generalization? Cause no where did I state that every man was doing those things, I’m definitely understanding but it seems that you aren’t getting what I’m putting down.
But no more back and forth with you, I can’t continue to baby explain things when you can’t let it flow through your mind. But it’s all good, cause at the end of the day no generalization was made considering I didn’t group any set of men together as a whole.
But if I girl can’t have set things that she doesn’t want from a man in a relationship that’s cool, just means that I’m talking to the wrong people about it. Cause women older would understand exactly what I’m saying

[JHNS98]

I'm shy and bad at approaching people. Some may find my advances jarring and reject me, which hurts.

Throughout my "dating career" I have found three people whom I really clicked with, but none of these relationships worked out for various reasons – mostly ltravel ogistics.

I don't have a driver's license, in fact, I'm not even eligible for driver training. Hence the "travel logistics" point

[Asker]

Well at least you’ve found 3 women lol I’ve found zero men that I’ve “clicked” with so…

[JHNS98]

That's three women over twelve years. The first relationship lasted for five days, call it a fling if you want. The others lasted for 9 months each.

I also had a friends with benefits under weird circumstances for a time.

[Asker]

That’s great. I’ve had no relationships or friends with benefits so…. Good for you

[ClassicDropout]

I dont want to be taken advantage of or be manipulated to fit into someone's fantasy. I also really enjoy my freedom to do things like jerk off without someone constantly telling me I'm controlled by my dick.

[Asker]

That’s amazing for you, but it’s just not for me. I prefer a man who doesn’t have his hands on himself 24/7, I mean the dudes at my college talk about how they jerk off 5-6 times a day which I think is way too much.

[Nikki1989]

I gave up any thought of dating when I met my husband, and that was in 2009, so it is just a distant memory now.

[Asker]

That’s nice, only the lucky get to have relationships and get married. Hope your life is amazing

[Anonymous]

Women are mostly liberal
I'm a broke workaholic
I'm short, out of shape, slowly dying
I smoke and don't drive.

[Asker]

I can’t say I’m broke but I’m definitely a workaholic. I work mon-sat been doing so for the last two years.
Does it really matter if a woman is a liberal? I mean if she wants the right to abortions still being available why is it such a big deal?

[Opinion Owner]

Mon-sun, a day off a year for a decade now
That I have no problem with
It's everything else with liberals

[Asker]

Makes sense

[Anonymous]

I don't get a lot of opportunities, and I do myself no favors.

[Anonymous]

So, you're only attracted to GAY men. Got it!😆

[Asker]

Lmao there will always be a comment like this. I’m into men who have self control 😁 and respect me enough to know that I won’t sleep with them on the first date or within the first month of dating.
But your also over 45 and still talking like that so… I don’t need to know you to know your most likely a porn addict who jerks off or has sex with randoms frequently. At least that’s what my father said, but he also said to call him if a man touches/gropes me without be consenting to it or if I tell the guy no and he doesn’t stop. His gun doesn’t sit there for show.

[Opinion Owner]

Tell us you only seek out trash men without telling us you only seek out trash men.🤦‍♂️😆
Most men have self control. But just because you don't talk to those men is not there fault, it's yours. And of course your father said that. That's he job as a father! To ensure you respect yourself. It is amusing to me that you think you know ANYTHING about me at all. But once again you're just giving another example of how little you know about men. Most men are not sex crazed. But most young men have a VERY shallow understanding of love (most woman as well albeit typically a little more than men).

[Asker]

I don’t seek out any men lol, I’m not dating and I’ve never dated let alone slept with someone. I was just stating what kind of man I don’t want to be with lol.
Young men have a very shallow understanding because there parents do well teaching them, and well they were introduced into sexual things at a very young age which is sad. I’m not sure I want to know much about men, there is so many things that different men have done that it makes me want to stay away from them. I’m not saying there aren’t any good men, but there’s a very low percentage of good ones compared to jerks and weirdos.
Regarding “sex crazed” maybe most aren’t, but also most are.
Regarding my father of course he’s being a father lol, what else is he supposed to be? He’s a damn good one too, but even if he wasn’t my father I’d still respect myself lol. My father never told me that I shouldn’t have sex with guys or blah blah. I did that myself lol, I’m not trying to be like girls who sleep around cause those women don’t respect themselves. Just like men that sleep around have no respect for themselves, that why when they are home alone they are lonely, both of them.

[Opinion Owner]

Well that's cool. Stay way from men. Everybody's happy.🙂👍👍👍😆

[Asker]

I mean it’ll just lessen the percentage of me being SA’d so YAY 😁😁😁

[Opinion Owner]

When you don't use good judgement that tends to happen.

[Asker]

Well… I had a friend that when she was 15 a 27 year old guy SA’d her, there was no “good judgement” that she could’ve made, it was a friend of her parents.
So it’s not always “good judgement”, majority of the time it’s when you least expect it or it’s someone close.

[Opinion Owner]

Where did this "alleged" SA happen?

[Asker]

It wasn’t alleged, the guy admitted to the father what he had done. Which then was brought to the police. It happened at her families house, but if your asking what city? I don’t give out info like that lol

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I didn't ask you what city hun. She could have I identified him as a threat early on. I will concede she was 15 and her parents should have been more active in protecting her. But this is my point. So few of your gender takes responsibility to the role the play on everything. And that's the primary reason SA is the problem it is. You're not going to stop a creep from being a creep. But you can do your best to NOT make yourself a target. So few women today do that.

[Asker]

I try my best not to be a target, which is why it hasn’t happened to me. But that is also why I say that some guys cannot control themselves, that’s why SA is a thing. Because these men can’t control themselves, I’m not saying women don’t do it also. But it’s more common for men to do.
I will say there is no “responsibility” a women plays in a man wanting to SA her, she can’t attempt to stop it and that’s about it. Why exactly would she be to blame for her getting SA’d? She wasn’t the one planning on it happening was she? She didn’t intend for it to happen either. But I’m also not going to go back and forth about how a child got SA’d and it’s somehow partly her fault.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes but you also by your own words insinuate that this is a majority if not all men and that is absolutely false. Then you alleviate any responsibility you have to protect yourself by declaring women victims. and you know that's simply not true. Yes, there are SA. Just like there is gun violence even with gun control measures. But gun control measures do lower violence. And women who take measures to protect themselves are significantly less likely to experience SA.

[FunkyMonkee]

Yeah, I have a girlfriend.

[Danny_dan92]

Yeah. Behaviors

[Asker]

Definitely makes sense! Both genders could definitely get there shit together in certain areas, but only few will actually do so

[Danny_dan92]

Yep. Exactly