If a girl you haven't dated and haven't talked to in months reopens the door and texts you, what should you do?

[Anonymous]

[Bolt1104]

If a girl you haven’t dated and haven’t talked to in months suddenly reaches out, the first step is to figure out why. Sometimes people message because they genuinely missed you, realized they had feelings, or want to reconnect. Other times it’s boredom, loneliness, or they want attention without any real intention.

The best thing to do is respond politely, but don’t jump right back in emotionally. Take it slow and ask what made her reach out again. If she’s willing to put in effort, communicate, and actually build something, then it might be worth exploring.

But if she’s inconsistent, vague, or only messages when it benefits her, then protect your peace and keep your distance. Her actions from this point forward will tell you everything you need to know.

[Bitter_Sweet94]

If she reaches out after months, keep your response simple and steady, no over thinking, no chasing.

Acknowledge the message, match her energy, and see what she actually wants.

People reopen doors for different reasons curiosity, boredom, regret, or genuine interest.

Just don’t jump in with assumptions.

Let her show her intention through her effort, not her timing.

[Asker]

A lot of the time she comes back and it's just texting. She doesn't initiate plans or anything

[Bitter_Sweet94]

Then she’s showing you her level of interest.

When someone returns just to text but never follows through,
it usually means they like the attention, not the connection.

If she wanted something real, she’d make space for you in her life,
not only on her phone.

You don’t have to cut her off,
just stop investing more than what she’s giving.

Match her effort and you’ll see her true intention very quickly.

[Asker]

Of course but I haven't initiated plans as well

[Bitter_Sweet94]

That’s fair, effort goes both ways.

But even if you haven't initiated plans, the pattern still tells you something.

If someone is genuinely interested, they’ll naturally create openings for things to happen, not just keep the conversation floating.

You can try initiating once, just to get a clear read.

If she responds with real effort, great.

If she keeps it surface level, then you have your answer.

[Tarifa]

If it's been months and she shows interest, it may be one of three things:

1) She's genuinely interested. Text her back and get together with no commitment in mind. Just see where it goes.

2) You were just a back up plan, the second best or third best on her list. Thread with caution.

3) She has ended a relationship recently and is looking for a new opportunity. Don't rush, hold off a little and let her do the talking.

[Asker]

Should I test the waters or engage on my terms?

[Tarifa]

Test the waters. You'll eventually find out where she wants this to go.

[Tarifa]

Thanks for the MHO.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

First thing you do: come to the realization that you are a backup plan.

Second thing: take your shot and maybe get laid, then ghost her, or just ghost her. You aren't important to her and that's all she's honestly communicated to you so far.

[Asker]

Why would I take my shot and get laid? She is probably not coming back for that

[RavVid]

Open the door with caution :) It is possible she has reflected on your qualities an contemplating a relation ship or has finally noticed your absence and feels a need for validation.

Hence with caution and look for red flags.

[Asker]

How should I respond?

[RavVid]

Respond back by text. I'd just ask how she is or how her life is going. Just open the door and let her make any running. She's the one that reached out so leave it to her.

[luvstoned4him]

find out why. Be cautious. What are her intentions? sometimes people want things from you like money, to make you a rebound etc. The world is a cruel place

[Anonymous]

I would just treat it like nothing has changed (between your relationship). I would be super casual and be like "Hey. Nice to hear from you..." and see where it goes.

[Asker]

What if it just leads to y'all texting?

[Opinion Owner]

Then I would continue texting? I don't know. Like see if she wants to be friends or more. Let her guide the conversation and see where she goes with it. If she's more flirty, then flirt back if you're interested. If not then maybe remain texting as an acquaintance, or friend? It all depends on what you're ok with as well as what she wants. Or, you could also just flirt with her if you want and see where that goes. If she shuts it down or doesn't reciprocate the flirt, then I would drop it.

[Asker]

Could I just ask her out?

[Nikki1989]

Chat if you like. I have people who message me who I haven't chatted with for years. It is never an issue.

[MJVillarama]

It depends how you feel. if you’re interested, reply casually and see where it goes. If not, a polite but short response works too. Keep it chill, no pressure.

[beenherebefore]

She’s probably broken up with the guy she was dating and is texting you out of boredom.

[whiskeyontherocks]

I’d text back see whats what. but don’t let her make you the backup plan.

[Twodogs0525]

Text her back.

[Asker]

And say what?

[Twodogs0525]

How about something like, "hey, how have you been? It's so nice to hear from you! Is anything interesting going on in your life that you're sending me a text or is just to say "hello"?

[RedTiefling]

Ignore them and move on.

[blackeagle007]

Naw, I moved on

[Anonymous]

Make her wait.

[Anonymous]

Fuck her enjoy!

[Asker]

What?

[guesswhereivebeen]

Go and hit it

[Asker]

She probably won't come back for that

[guesswhereivebeen]

I bet she might

[ABC1x1x]

Ignore and block

[UmarCGA]

İgnore