This guy im talking to keeps saying that in his past he let his girlfriends have a “day pass” and that cheating is inevitable. is this a red flag?

[jackieistired]

Im monogous, and he says he's a Christian but I feel like he’s dropping hints that he will cheat at any given moment. What do you think?

he's a cheater

he's trying to be a people pleaser

[Bolt1104]

Yes, that’s a huge red flag. When someone says cheating is “inevitable” or that they’ve given girlfriends a “day pass,” what they’re really doing is normalizing infidelity and lowering your expectations so that if he cheats, you’re less likely to hold him accountable. It’s basically him telling you ahead of time that commitment isn’t a priority for him.

If you’re monogamous and value loyalty especially if you take your relationship and faith seriously you deserve someone who feels the same. A Christian man who truly values his partner and his beliefs wouldn’t be planting the idea that cheating is expected or acceptable.

It sounds like he’s dropping hints that he wants the freedom to cheat without consequences. Trust and commitment shouldn’t feel like a negotiation. If he’s already talking like this before you’re even in a serious relationship, imagine how he’d act later.

You’re not wrong for feeling uneasy. Listen to that. Someone who values you will protect the relationship, not prepare excuses to betray it.

[jackieistired]

I even asked him what advice he would give his younger self, he brought it back to everyone disappoints you and cheating has nothing to do with you as a person it’s the other person, never feel bad and im like? I wouldve told myself to invest in stocks sooner or something. he's harping on the idea of cheating so early and he's a really hot guy and he’s never come out and said he’s been cheated on before either

[Nikki1989]

Major red flag. He is performing a calculated maneuver to eliminate his accountability while simultaneously setting extremely low expectations for the stability of your future relationship.

[DryGermanGuy]

Of course he’s Christian. I bet he also has a bumper sticker with „feed the hungry“ or some other platitude. 🙄

[Staximus]

Shady

[Flower7]

Saying cheating is inevitable means that he feels like it’s a guaranteed thing that everyone does. Surely that includes himself also.

[RavVid]

I'd say he is possibly a wife swapper rather than a cheater.

[RHK36]

It's pretty obvious and you have a red flag if you keep interacting with men like that

[jackieistired]

you're clearly autistic and your mom should’ve left you at a fire station

[Anonymous]

I think girls whose main activity is looking for red flags, is a red flag.