Is it ok to dump a cheater on his b-day?

Question

His b-day is this Sunday. I found out but rather than doing a direct confrontation and dumping him now, I want to wait till his b-day. He doesn't know I know.

I'm still dumping him. I ain't staying with no cheater.

omega_nutte · Accepted Answer

Depends what reputation you want.

In my opinion there's no logical reason to add salt to a fresh wound besides your own personal emotional vendetta.

If you think you'll receive huge satisfaction, and won't regret any potential consequences, go for it.

However do take a moment to think about whether you would want this done to you, regardless of whether you (hypothetically) cheated on a guy or not.

If I was with a woman and found she cheated, I wouldn't stay with her, just like In your case. But I wouldn't go out of my way to ruin their day, potentially ruin their reputation and lives. Out of respect for her.

Regardless of what gets said and who did what, you'll both be dealing with some emotional pain. At least, if you were both together for a while, and truly liked each other, and it wasn't a superficial relationship. I guarantee without the added sting of this being on his birthday, he'll still be sad to see you go, and having been through breakups before, as a guy, that pain lasts a long time. From my experience, a lot longer than the woman, even when it was mutual.

muttley · Accepted Answer

He depends on how vindictive you truly want to be. Are you going to do it on his birthday or you and I do it when everybody's around and shove his face into the cake. But my pick is to send a quick master saying fuck you, I found out. You cheated. And tell him its over.

Stellastarling · Accepted Answer

Hey. I get how you're feeling. It hurts. It hurts like hell. But guess what? He doesn't know what's coming. So, be the bigger person over here and choose to dump him before his birthday ( that way you won't have to get him a gift😉) Just cause he didn't know what he had and did something utterly ridiculous and stupid doesn't mean that you do too. So, do the right thing and talk to him about this earlier. He might have done something wrong and he so deserves it but do you really care anymore? Forget him. Live your life. He does not matter anymore. Just don't stoop to his level cause you have much more class than him girl. And you need to prove it now. Good luck!

TheIceCreamQueen · Accepted Answer

Let me improve your plan.. On his birthday dress up, look amazingly sexy "for him" and tell him you got him something..

- Sit him down

- Walk out with a huge cake and candles and set it down on the table

- He looks down and it reads "Happy Bday CHEATING ASSHOLE. FUCK YOU piece of shit. "

- Before he reacts, push his head down n slam his face into the cake

- Tell him "Don't ever call me again and don't ever think you can disrespect me like that stupid mother fucker"

- Walk away, go home and block him on everything.

PrincessPie · Accepted Answer

Sure, he cheated, the day is irreverent, he clearly wasn't thinking about your feelings when he cheated, why should you think of his.

McMillanD · Answer

If you really wana have fun with it... get a picture of the chick and put it in a card. On the front of the card or envelop put, "guess who you can always call for birthday sex..." on the back of the picture write... "yeah it's over."

coachTanthony · Answer

A cheater needs to be dumped no matter what day it is!

ghostqueen · Answer

Yeah, fuck him and his stupid birthday.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Okay. So it's been a few days since you dumped him. How does it feel? If you could go back and do it again, what would you do differently?

playandplay · Answer

Like Chris Rock said in one of his stand up shows. If a female is chasing a man boy adolescent or senior He can't run fast enough. Just can't.
My question to you is. What are you not doing to stop his eyes from looking elsewhere? Or what are you doing?
Even if a man is a Pastor filled with the Holy Spirit serving a congregation large or small, it is hard but very possible to stay committed to one woman. It is very difficult. So imagine an undiciplined wet behind the ear child walking around in a adult body that is constantly bombarded with sensuality and sex everywhere we imcluding women go. What does one really expect. Im not excusing him or his cheating behind. If you cannot forgive him and gibe him a break them by all means make his birthfay one for the books. He will never forget you!! Thats for sure. And will always rhink hard and long on the feelings rhat are going to griwve his little heart. Hold on son. Its coming down the chute to coldcock you right in the balls. Im stickin to it.

btbc92 · Answer

Who wants to be dating a vengeful and vindictive person because somebody cheated you? That says a lot how evil the person is. Don't be wicked. Tell him now. Don't embarrass him, it make you look bad. No wonder why so many of you have psychological problems. And emotional baggage.

Lovemycountryboy · Answer

Hell yes go for it... You shouldn't have been cheated on... Go for it do it on his b-day... But.. hope you got proof and... If u do my advice is go act like nothing is wrong... And when the right time is maybe like when he opens his gifts you could say I got a gift and splash him with something like water or soda etc and show him the proof that he did cheat on you etc
But just be careful because men can take it seriously then before u know it u will. Get hurt so just be careful what u do...
And hopefully he won't find u etc

Go for it

Shallan · Answer

I would personally prefer to dump him as soon as possible (because I am impatient), but I can understand where you are coming from. Guys who claim you sound like a vindictive bitch or are afraid of you... why would a decent guy need to be afraid of you? They don't cheat. You are the one who has every right to be afraid, hurt and yes, even angry and a little vindictive. It's not like you are planning to ruin his life, destroy his property or kill him. You are just dumping him on his birthday. He cheated on you. Much, much worse.

unwriitten · Answer

This is petty af and if you dump him on his birthday just to get revenge or whatever you feel you’re going to get from doing so, then you’re letting him lower you to his level, and you shouldn’t allow a man to have that much power over you to the point where you’re staying with someone who disrespected you so you can dump him on his birthday? For what? For who? 😂 (in my opinion) this would be pathetic regardless of what he’s done to you. Him being a dickhead shouldn’t motivate you to want to be one too 😂 it’s not a competition to see who can hurt who more, keep it classy, if you’re going to leave him then just leave babes all this plot twisting is mad childish 😭but do what you want tho

ksoma · Answer

I don't know.
I'm glad you're dumping him... You shouldn't have to stay with a cheater, so I'm glad you're leaving him and moving on, but...
Waiting for a particular, special day to him, to break up with him, in the hope you will hurt him more, seems vindictive.
Not UNFAIRLY vindictive. I mean, he did betray you. He deserves it. But going the extra mile to hurt him MIGHT reflect badly on you to some people, and...
Well, if you leaving him doesn't upset or hurt him, it will have all been for no reason, anyways.

Do what you want, but I still think the best thing to do would be to just break up now, asap, and move on.
If you feel the world needs to know why, then take to Facebook, if you and him and your friends all have it, and be brutally honest about why you're leaving him.

Ayte_Lex · Answer

As long as it's not in front of his or your friends.

Keep it private, but yeah... I think that'd be great. Nice touch to it. Maybe in a "sweet" love letter. And at the end mention. "Her" or something haha.

Be sure he's actually cheating though! Sorry you had to go through that. Some guys are real douchebags.🙏🏼

UptightLight · Answer

Love all the pointless comments.

Cheating is pointless you fags.

Her getting some joy out of trying to make him feel is her supporting herself through some crap she really shouldn't have to know about. You fags can always say, "this isn't working." Leave the broken heart and move on. Instead y'all want to break the heart and salt the wound. Pathetic. If individuals want to address a cheater in a spiteful manner to feel better about what happened to them that's a point for them. She could kill him. Take it that far before dialing it back or writing it off and enabling the act of cheating like it's a right of passage.

Quintessence · Answer

It's perfectly ok.
Why wouldn't it be? Birthdays don't grant someone immunity from suffering the ramifications of their actions. They don't even entitle anyone to special treatment unless they're 5 years old.
You're under no obligation to stay with someone who is disrespectful and disloyal to you.

katiesmuff · Answer

Any day is a perfect day to dump a cheater, but waiting until his birthday which is just a couple of days away will be a supreme way to get rid of him. I'd get a real sweet card and then put the go get fucked message in the card. Would be hysterical watching the look on his face. If he has given you some stuff you want to rid yourself of wrap it up as his gift.

shootej · Answer

No. By doing this you reflect how much it hurt you and it'll only make it harder for you to get over him. Also it won't hurt him that much because many people will be on his side on his birthday and he'll be surrounded by people who love him. The right thing for you to do is let him know now that you knkw he cheated and break up with him and put him in the friend zone. Never agree to meet him and don't pick up the phone when he calls. He'll get obsessed and you'll move on quickly

VaIiant · Answer

Absolutely.
I would do this myself if I was in this position and had the opportunity. If he cheated on you, he absolutely deserves it. And every year he’ll remember it was the day he got dumped. I’d also make a cake that had “I know you cheated” on it in icing. Not even kidding, don’t let him eat the cake either.. Cheaters don’t deserve cake.
If possible, dump him when he’s in public with his friends and group and such for max humiliation. Good luck, I hope the lying son of a bitch cries.

Syrian_survivor · Answer

I like how people are actually saying "no dats mean ur mean ur a bad person u shud feel like shit"
Dude give me a fucking break will you? xD
Not everyone is as needy and insecure as you to keep a cheating partner, and do you even realize how bad cheating is? It's the biggest dick move and the worst thing anybody can do, the most hurtful thing. So dumping a cheater on their birthday is NOTHING compared to what they've done, so sit the fuck down :)

not_a_gamer_girl · Answer

“Happy birthday! As your gift, you no longer have to sleep with other women behind my back!! Why? Because I’m leaving your cheating, lying ass!”

He deserves it. Plain and simple. He violated your trust and disrespected not only you, but your relationship as well.

sage0731 · Answer

YES. If they cheat then they deserve it most on their birthday or anniversary or some other "big day". If they care so little about you that they would do that, then they deserve to be feel just as bad. Or at least as much as you badly as you can make someone like that feel.

Im very vindictive though so you might want to take my opinion with a grain of salt lol

Unit1 · Answer

Do you have any evidence of him cheating on you? Chat logs or pictures?
Print those out and wrap it as a disguised gift and give it to him on his birthday. Be sure you can escape safely. You don't want to get hurt by him if he gets violent.

TFXNYC · Answer

The best time to dump a cheater is NOW. No waiting, no negotiating, no timing, just do it now. I wouldn't care if the person was at their mother's funeral.
Just make certain he really did cheat on you. Good luck, move on and get back on the horse.

SirRexington · Answer

That can be his present. "hey babe whatchu get me for my B-day?" "The single life." "Wait what..." 'Bye dickhead"

valkrenx · Answer

Are you dumb? If you wanna break up with an asshole you do it now! Don't need to be an asshole yourself... And everyone else who voted yes have no respect for themselves really.

nightdrot · Answer

You have every right to dump him, but this seems gratuitous. You are operating on the premise that because he behaved in a beastly manner, it is fine for you to do so. In truth, in a perfect world, neither of you would.

Dump him, but show that you are the better person.

iminhell · Answer

I say do it whenever. Now or later. They cheated so why should you care in any way how it might upset them. If it ruins his bday it's his fault because he cheated. Plus I don't get why everyone says not to do it on his bday because that's special. Screw that he gets one every year maybe he will learn not to be a cheating bastard next time

gerribunny · Answer

Oh hell yes!!
Or any other day ending in y no matter what the occasion... After all.. He (or she depending on your personal preference) was the one who disregarded your feelings, trust and commitment to the relationship in the first instance, so unless you're looking for reconciliation, you are really only required to consider one person - you!!!

YusefBeLikeMe · Answer

I think its the best... because in this way he may be understands that a new chapter in his life will begin without you... and i think you are mure importantthan his birthday... its just a day... the true happiness is in understanding each other together not celeblating together wile the other in cheating.

Jihhan · Answer

Of you plan to wait till his b-day then you are part of the problem, that says you rejoice in his suffering and that's messed up, perhaps not as messed up as cheating just like he did but... wow... You either dump him now or you need some help as well.

Drifter83UK · Answer

Why you staying with him if you're against cheating lol.. You're just going to do something to spite him? 2 wrongs make a right nowadays?

A bit like playground tactics. He hurt me so i hurt him... What's wrong with dumping him now and if he asks why, just drop the truth.

Tonga · Answer

U could! I just I don’t know what u would get from it, but I think u should just dump him right now u know? It doesn’t matter, I know he hurt you but, why would you want to stay another day with him knowing you could just forget about it and he’s not worth all the planning?😊 u deserve better!

LoloWaye · Answer

YES.
Go for it!
Lol I sound so petty and hateful for agreeing with this but I mean... he cheated so all is fair in love and war. And it'll ruin his day. And you didn't actively do anything to get back him, like ruin his car or clothes or something on that level. It's perfect all around.

Break his heart!

Bas96 · Answer

"Revenge is a dish best served cold", don't know who said the quote, but that person is right. He was a cold hearted person, so he deserved a cold dish 'o revenge. Bon Appétit, cheater. I wish you good luck with serving it.

Anonymous · Answer

Doesn't matter when it is as long as you are not planning some cruel drawn out plan for revenge. Break up with him as soon as you can, Sunday seems fine, who cares that it's his birthday, obviously single life is what he needs and what better day to be single than his birthday.

Ash0100 · Answer

Most of us will say yeah or sure he deserve so but think of it is that who u r even if he did the worst thing to u?
U r better than making anger and revenge control u. Karma will do its job. In my openion wait then u can leave peacefully.
U won't feel good if u made his day the worst this won't make u feel better at all.

WalterBlack · Answer

I don’t encourage retaliation. But on the other hand, you have no obligation to be sensitive to his feelings. If his birthday is truly the best time to confront him and dump him did to extenuating circumstances, then do so. But timing it for his birthday just to hurt him is bad karma for you. Be the better person. If you can confront him now, why not get it over with?

Streak · Answer

Show no mercy but, have composure. You are stronger than he is

dvhgvg · Answer

As someone whose been cheated on, and who has cheated.. tell him now u know about it and make him beg for mercy and then dump him on his bday. U need to take ur power back and he needs to not have one more minute available to make a fool out of you

samhradh_leannan · Answer

I think intentionally waiting to dump someone on their birthday is a little vindictive, and I personally would rather rise above that. But it's still not as bad as what they did to you, so if it will make you feel better, go for it I guess.

jmsdtl321 · Answer

Choose the high road. It won't make you feel any better in the long run.

mystery_user · Answer

Bruh expose him in front of everyone he knows I mean every single person he know, he's ex, his parents, his female friends, and his bros ( guys take bros seriously so that would be a big deal for him), and anyone else that super important to him

3va11 · Answer

why do you want to humiliate him that much and hurt him that bad should be the first thing you ask yourself calmly while thinking about the better option your about to get by no longer being in a relationship, get your pros on so you can do what ever you do with a smile and a heart thats uplifted

Gedaria · Answer

He really hurt you. But be careful it is easy to be one yourself. Not saying you would, all it needs to get into the company of a guy that turns you on a few drinks can easily get into a situation you don't want to stop. It's happened to people many times.. I do hope you find someone you can really trust and does not hurt you again !!! ll

JamesS1980 · Answer

I'm not sure about waiting until Sunday, rather than doing it now - but he deserves to be dumped, and soon, and hard enough he'll remember it.

Waiting until his birthday instead of doing it ASAP is a bit cruel - but I can hardly criticise you for that, he deserves it and more.

cajunmoony · Answer

dump him anyplace anywhere anytime. i dont think any timing including his bday will hurt him more though. i mean.. he cheated on you anyway, implying he doesn't care about you. he won't care more for u on this day, his birthday or any day. in fact, his friends or hoes or fam will probably comfort him even more for being dumped on his birthday. and u dont want the scumbag to receive extra TLC. so.. just dump him asap anyway!

T_pop · Answer

Hell Yeeeess ! * excuse my french * .. I'm sure all of us women/men has been cheated on once in a lifetime or even more. An getting cheated on by the person you adore the most in the universe and you just care for them or would even put them before you at times cause that person just brings no other feeling to you like nobody else does & they repay by STABING YOU IN THE BACK ! It's a hurtful feeling and it messes you up emotionally. Now because of that douche you'll never be ever to trust someone again , so do it for All the People who has ever been hurt by a cheater , DUMP HIS ASS !!

moosette134 · Answer

If you already know, and you're going to do it anyway, do it now. Don't wait just because you think it'll make him feel worse - that's just mean. What he did to you was obviously not okay in any way, but remember the saying two wrongs don't make a right? Still applies. Be a good person.

Lovemusic · Answer

Look he deserves what he did. Yea I agree with all of u. Don't get me wrong I would've done that and more. But the thing is once u do this how would u feel after. I don't care for the bastard what I care is u. Be cool and if he gets violent u just get out of there as fast as u can. Always keep in mind this quote ( no one does what they had until its gone) if he didn't appreciate u then its his lose.

Meximan1993 · Answer

Why seek vengeance on a person that isn't worth your time? It won't undo what's happened, and the satisfaction probably won't last long, if at all. It just doesn't make sense to repay pain by inflicting more pain. Rather, prove it to yourself why you'd be above stating with a cheater. Prove to yourself why you are better than he is. And at the end of the day, you should have no regrets for doing this.

Always look for a reason to be a bigger person :) You've got this, friend

BlueSpark · Answer

I suppose it depends how much he deserves it. The act alone is terrible, and you've gotta dump a like that, but is he a terrible enough person to deserve it? The answer is most likely yes, but on the off chance that this is actually a decent guy who did a horrible thing, maybe spare him of that in hopes that he can learn

Shybabe33 · Answer

Yes! You don’t owe him anything dear. He cheated on you with the knowledge of knowing it will hurt you. So forget his feelings. Take care of yourself. ❤️

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

Listen, I know it hurts but dumping him specifically on his birthday is pointless. As a guy, I don't condone his actions for cheating because that is wrong but just chalk it up as a bad experience and move on, guys come and go in life. End of the day it's your life we can't force you to do something, I understand you want revenge but just be careful with revenge, some guys are extra vengeful if you piss them off and may do something fucked up.

Deformate · Answer

Just... pointless. This is a tit for tat kind of scenario. You are sinking to his level just to feel better about it when in fact you are just showing people that you can be petty and cruel. He cheated. That was his mistake. Dont let sadism be yours. Drop the guy and move on.

J4Zzi3 · Answer

so in his B'day you gonna dump him when it's only 2 of you?
or when he is in a group?
eq family dinner/dinner with friends?

for revenge it's better you do it in front of friends/ family? picture is good for evidence so that you can embarass him
the downside you'll get more enemy that way. probably his friends and family will scorn you

but for long term relationship. sometimes it's better to play as the quiet victim you get good sympathy from others.

yeeeeeeeet · Answer

Just dump him immediately. And There's no point in being extra. He did something terrible, but doing terrible things back isn't going to make you feel any better. It's just going to be more messy than it has to be for both of you.

Alice2398 · Answer

He clearly doesn't care about your feelings so why should you, if a boy cheated on me I'd do a hole lot more than just dump him on his b-day, I'd make sure I got him so bad he'd be to scared to cheat ever again. Id go full Tiger Woods wife.

Krumpir · Answer

Make sure evryone on a celebration knows why you are dumping him. Cheaters deserve no respect.

aheartofthesunrise · Answer

That's very petty and spiteful, I think you're a loser for doing that. He's still wrong for cheating on you though. You both are immature.

Parasiempreparaiso · Answer

Yes! Dump his royal ass on his bday. I give you the honors !! And give yourself permission to do so. That should be a very great closer for you... I love your idea!😉😊😁

MysteriousDarkness · Answer

The best time to do it is now instead of later. Why wait until his birthday. The longer you wait the later and later it will be before you can try to move on from him. By waiting for a day to be special to him so you can dump him shows the type of mentality you have.

PunishedDragon · Answer

I say wait until after so you can get some cake first but if you don't care about cake then go ahead and dump in.

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