I had been seeing Woman A casually for almost two years. We acted like a couple—traveled together, went to concerts and weddings, met each other’s family and friends—and I usually paid for everything. But she never wanted to commit or define the relationship.
While still involved with her, I started seeing Woman B for about a month. She told me upfront she wanted to date me, but I didn’t want a relationship with her. When she asked what we were doing, I told her she was just a “fuck buddy” and explained that I only take women I want to date out on actual outings.
She asked why I didn’t want to date her, and I sent her a long message critiquing things like her confidence, sexual experience, and how she approaches dating. After reading it, she ended things and didn’t want to remain friends.
I insisted on staying friends anyway. I called her multiple times until she responded, and we eventually had an 8-hour phone conversation where she agreed to continue being in contact. For the next two weeks, we stayed “friends” while still sleeping together, but then she suddenly ghosted and blocked me.
I later saw her at a mutual friend’s place and confronted her about blocking me. She was frustrated and basically told me that I was already involved with someone else and that I should focus on that.
She ended up posting about me on “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Woman A’s friends sent the post to Woman A, and as a result, Woman A ended things with me too.
In response, I had my cousin post a message in an AWDTSG group threatening Woman B with legal action if she kept posting about me and accusing her of being on my property.
Now I’m trying to understand where I went wrong and whether I should have dated Woman B.
While still involved with her, I started seeing Woman B for about a month. She told me upfront she wanted to date me, but I didn’t want a relationship with her. When she asked what we were doing, I told her she was just a “fuck buddy” and explained that I only take women I want to date out on actual outings.
She asked why I didn’t want to date her, and I sent her a long message critiquing things like her confidence, sexual experience, and how she approaches dating. After reading it, she ended things and didn’t want to remain friends.
I insisted on staying friends anyway. I called her multiple times until she responded, and we eventually had an 8-hour phone conversation where she agreed to continue being in contact. For the next two weeks, we stayed “friends” while still sleeping together, but then she suddenly ghosted and blocked me.
I later saw her at a mutual friend’s place and confronted her about blocking me. She was frustrated and basically told me that I was already involved with someone else and that I should focus on that.
She ended up posting about me on “Are We Dating the Same Guy?” Woman A’s friends sent the post to Woman A, and as a result, Woman A ended things with me too.
In response, I had my cousin post a message in an AWDTSG group threatening Woman B with legal action if she kept posting about me and accusing her of being on my property.
Now I’m trying to understand where I went wrong and whether I should have dated Woman B.
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If this isn’t trolling out of boredom, are you just that utterly oblivious and lacking of accountability? I’m not even saying that in a messed up way, I’m just calling it as I see it. You seem to prefer the thrill of the chase, since you’d rather reserve your heart for an emotionally unavailable woman vs one who actually wants to be with you.
You degraded her by basically only offering sex and conversation, then demanded she stick around for your own selfish needs rather than letting her go when she saw the signs. It feels almost unrealistically detestable that a “man” who KNOWS he wants nothing more than casual sex would ignore the blatant distress it’s causing a woman. You spent 8 hours being completely unreceptive, and manipulating her into sticking around. Do you just have no remorse and not an inkling of care? Or are you just so fucked in the head from being strung along for 2 years that you know nothing other than to put someone else through that?
The sheer lack of compassion and pure selfishness is just so embarrassingly sick and shameful. You should absolutely let woman B go, so she can find someone who would really love and appreciate a woman willing to commit. A GOOD GUY. Especially since you know you’re waiting it out for woman A. It’s the RIGHT thing to do. Not this selfish bullshit, do better as not only a man but a human.
I misunderstood the last part, she did the right thing by blocking and being done with your ass. To threaten legal action because she sabotaged things with woman A is fucking gross.