If he tells you he’d do anything for his ex wife, is it a red flag?

[Anonymous]

I recently started dating a man with kids. On our date he mentioned he’d do anything for his ex wife as long as it wasn’t to his detriment. Am I reading too much into this or is it a red flag? Kinda got me worried about taking second place

[HighValue]

Don't waste your time on a single parent. They made their choices. It isn't your responsibility to take care of or add stress to your life because of their bad decisions. Also, any contact with an ex will lead to problems in your relationship, and you will never be the top priority either.

Don't waste your good years on someone like that. Let them find another single parent so they can bothbring similar problems into each other's lives.

[Asker]

Thanks, I get that

[ProbablyClueless]

I think you're reading into it too much. Being on good enough terms with the mother of your child that you're willing to help her out and make sure she's looked after is a good thing. It's certainly something you should look into a little bit deeper though.

I'd want to see how he actually behaves when she reaches out.

[Anonymous]

She may be his ex wife, but she's still the mom of his kids. There's nothing wrong with that. So, not red flag.

[Staximus]

The only thing he should be doing for his ex-wife is stuff that is related to the well-being of his children that she cannot do. If he's over there doing husband shit for her like they're still married (things like mowing her lawn, putting a TV on the wall, or painting her house and shit), then he's trying to stay in her life and is not over her.

[Anonymous]

That is a red flag. He should do anything involving his kids, but he shouldn't be helping her anymore. He clearly isn't over her if that's his mentality.

[Asker]

Yea I don’t think he is:(

[dudeinohio]

Red flag. Now, I get along well with my ex wife and certainly have and would help her out under certain circumstances; but, there has to be a boundary.

[ProbablyClueless]

He did say that he wouldn't help her if it happened to his detriment. That's kind of a boundary. I'd be curious to know what that looks like for him in practice.

[Asker]

@ProbablyClueless he said a detriment would be if she asked him to resign he wouldn’t do it🤣 so there’s a lot of things I assume he would do🤣

[msc545]

That is a major red flag in and of itself. And also a major red flag because he had the bad judgment to say it to you. Put those two things together, this is somebody you want to get away from very quickly.

[slatyb]

HUGE RED FLAG!!! Date him if you want to be second to his ex-wife.

[TonyMetal___86]

It's not a red flag, he's telling you that you're just for fun and sex only!

[Sal_Monella]

Never, ever look back.

[Asker]

Is it that bad🤣🤣🤣

[Sal_Monella]

You have a new life to live. It should not be tainted by an ex. And remember. you broke up for a reason.