Is he interested or not? Am I over thinking?

[Anonymous]

So I have this coworker that I have a crush on. I had been going around him to get know him a little better. Eventually I sent him a friend request. He never accepted the friend request but sent me a message. Since then we message everyday talking about our likes, interest, and hobbies. Asking how each other's day is going and such. I feel as if its typically flirty. But he only sent the first message first since then I have to message him first everyday. We do text majority of the day and he is really good about responding most of time. He just randomly stops when its time for him to go to bed. No messages saying that he is going to bed he just stops. Occasionally he will not respond to a message I sent until I start another conversation. He has been hurt really bad before and is really guarded. I also was told he is the type who befriends a girl he sees as a potential partner and sees if the chemistry and all is there. Am I over thinking this or is he just not interested?

[ManOnFire]

"I also was told he is the type who befriends a girl he sees as a potential partner and sees if the chemistry and all is there."
- Unless this came from someone who is very, very close to him and knows him well, I would take it with a grain of salt.

I do think you're overthinking it a little because you have a crush on him. He won't reach out first most of the time. If someone is really interested, they will put their foot forward as much as you do. And regardless of whether he's been hurt really bad or not, it's not your job to try to get him to take his walls down if that's what he's expecting, or prove how consistent you are. We also don't know if whoever hurt him before was another co-worker, whether on this job or the last, so maybe he's trying to be careful, not sure.

Tell you what: start messaging him less and see what he does over time, if he starts messaging you more. But even then, try to be careful. You guys are in the workplace, and I know you don't need me to tell you that things can go badly with dating on the job.

[Alex-Snow]

I would keep up the convo/texting. But why not just ask him out for a date and see how it goes. Is he around your age? When doing "flirty" texts as you say have any of them been sexual in nature?

[SueShe]

I personally think that he is still in the stage where he does keep his guard up and does not want to commit to anything. Remember that crushes are usually a one-sided affair and seldom reciprocated.

Now, another point that speaks in his favor could be that he does not want to get involved with a coworker. It is not a good idea to be romantically involved with a coworker because it creates nothing but problems at work, starting with jealousy and preferred treatment.

Finally, the fact that he did not accept your friend request on his social media, indicates that he does not really see you (yet) as someone to open with his most intimate details.

[Abbycado]

You feel like it is flirty because you want it to be. He is probably just enjoying messaging you. People can and do talk to each other without ulterior motives.

[Staximus]

And when the relationship goes south one of you has to look for a new job

[Anonymous]

You're overthinking it.

[Anonymous]

Why do u like him?

[In_Trance]

Not interested