Is he just not that interested in me? or am I overthinking?

[Anonymous]

This may be due to past people.. but the guy I am currently seeing, i question if he is actually that into me like he says.. He comes over and we chill, and cuddle, and he spends the night.. But we haven’t slept together in over a week now.. and I don't know if it’s me and he’s just not as interested in me as he claims or he’s getting it else where… or I’m just overthinking and it’s normal… cuz the last guy I Dealt with basically would sleep with me every times we saw each other.. of course he was just using me.. so I’m just not sure what to think… he told me not to play with his heart and that he overthinks things with me cuz I was nonchalant with him in the beginning.. I mean it’s nice that I don’t feel like I have to sleep with him Everytime I seee him, but since that’s what I was used to prior I overthink…

[Guy13]

Firstly, what you are doing is both a man and woman thing. As it relates to your dynamic the following is applicable.

Typically, if a man is stressed out by the woman and her over-the-top insecurities then he will shut down. Whether it is intended or not too much pressure to be like someone else is being exerted. Again, whether unintended or purposeful, too much negativity infects a relationship. Perhaps, you can define what you are really fearing to yourself. At that point, let it be and stop looking for it around every corner. Stop ✋ letting it consume every corner of your Being into overthinking.

You are orchestrating a self-fulfilling prophecy.-In such a thing you have allowed your Fears to dictate your Outcomes which are in fact your Fears themselves realized. It is obviously unhealthy and counterproductive. The only way that I know to beat it is to change your “Self-Talk”. Obviously not to the point of lying to yourself as the goal is to have relationship at an even keel. It’s about taking control of Self…for the most part.