Why is courtship such a lost art in modern dating?

Question

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

The fact that many people want a one sided relationship. I’m not calling out one sex or the other…. It’s both. Many people want to have someone else put all the work into a relationship and never give anything in return.

Why? Because they don’t have to. They can use someone else until someone gets tired of it and leaves… and they find the next person.

See many peoples ideas of even traditional relationships are fantasies. A real traditional relationship that works is 50/50. It’s just instead of both people performing the same roles. Two people work equally as hard in different roles. A man may work 70 hours a week…. But he also doesn’t lift a finger around the house. Both people tend to be exhausted…. But genuinely love one another. Anymore…. Soon as someone has to do any real work. They become resentful.

See. What does someone get out of a relationship where they are putting all the effort into someone whose simply lazy and lacks the ability to contribute anything? Why would I invest in someone who takes and never gives? Why would someone invest in me if all if do is take? Many people are naïve at first.

Until people figure out what they really want and start setting boundaries as well as standards. Yes, some people are unreasonable. But people need to have them. Otherwise you’ll just be in exhausting one sided relationships.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Because every one is living society rules...  There can'.
 T be any rules, the rules are I would like to take you out. I would like to show you a good time. I'm not going to worry about any of it. I'm paying for it and let's go. I'm going to be myself. You're going to be yourself. We're going to laugh. We're going to have fun. We're going to do stupid things, crazy things, but in each one of those things. It's gonna tell the other person who we are. I'm gonna hold your hand I'm gonna put my arms around you. I'm gonna pull you into my body. I'm gonna push you up against the wall and kiss your lips in your neck and tell you how bad I want you I don't care what society says or what they think I care about one person that is, you and that's what it should be about. I'm not taking out society. I'm taking out you So people are so caught up in the rules on being proper or their minds are so caught up in video games, they don't know who they are anyway or even how to act, but it is what it is.  You have to put one foot in front of the other and make it happen. It must be a moment in time that you will remember and I don't think people nowadays understand

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Men are raised to be clueless about romance. It also doesn't help that they are brainwashed by the trash they read online. Just read the opinions on here from many men; absolutely clueless.

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I DON'T... KNOW.  I miss it, tbh.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly? Because most women simply do not want to follow the traditional role of a woman. There was a time when a woman would try to get a man's attention, the man would respond, he would chat her up. If things were going well he'd ask her out. But today, women still try to get a man's attention, but from there they do ot differently the men approach her. Now she knows she's got him interested. So her tact is to extract as much attention she can get. She will pit him against other men, she will test him. To a majority of women she doesn't even have any interest in him. It's all one big game to her. A game to see how much attention and adulation she can get from him. Wash, rinse, repeat. After this happens enough times a guy catches on to her much and much earlier. Sometimes just realizing the trap and rolling his eyes and walking away altogether. These women have effectively ended courtship.

To make matters worse, there are a lot of these women who just like to get their f*** on with Nando's. It doesn't take long before a realizes if he waits long enough, one of these women will proposition him for a session. Why would you court the cow, let alone buy it, when a cow will be along shortly that will let you sample the milk and more?

I mean it's pretty common sense when you think about it

aaron13547 · Answer

I think its because people see marriage and being tied down as a bad thing. To have to put someone elses, needs before your own. Thats scary! To think long term, you want to do things just for that person for the rest of your life and theirs... Thats a lot of responsibility. We dont want all the bad and difficult things that come with love. We want love to feel good all the time. Only problem is that's not how love works...

People have made love a selfish idea, something you can possess. You can't hold onto love, thats a for sure way to lose it. Love just is... People forgot that

Courtship is lost because people think loving is like a trade. You make me happy, ill make you happy.

Its because we have lost site of what love is really about. Love has a purpose, and its not suppose to be selfish...

Courtship is suppose to be fun for both people and this world has made people so selfish they forgot, or just dont believe it.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Historically women have been viewed as a prize, something to compete for. A woman's parents kept her and treasured her for many reasons, financial being a major one. I don't think I can say enough about a daughter's love for her dad. In early French culture a male had to court Grandmother , Mother and finally the Daughter. It was a system of filters. Remember there was a sharp dividing line which as well demarcated between the Aristocracy and commoners. Why did women stop? Misogynistic males , abuse?

Things changes Something is lost but something is gained.

Zack-Bann · Answer

I think people look around then and see everyone just jumping straight into sexual situationships and they think: why should I be the one to take it slow?

Courtship is it’s own reward when done right

But as you said it’s a lost art

YourExLover69 · Answer

I love traditional roles, mutual feelings, mutual efforts in a relationship, mutual respect, friendship, few common things all I want to see in my would be relationship with the open minded, kind hearted girl for long lasting relationship 😍

BCRanger10 · Answer

Because people aren't pursuing that to which courtship is intended and directed, which is marriage.

DonaldDarko · Answer

It's 2025, those old sci fi shows about future dystopias were pretty accurate. Men and women don't really become couples now. They have sex , not as an expression of affection but as just another drug to get high. An organism, a dose of cocaine, it's all the same. Brave new world.

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

That's a good question. I think at some point during the "sexual revolution" courtship was labeled as cringeworthy and it simply stuck. Then in the modern world, where everyone is constantly in a rush, this pattern of thinking became convenient, because almost no one has any time for courtship - thus it died a silent death.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm married now and courted the girl for 2 years prior then asked her family for her hand. Tradition isn't dead it's just harder to find. All it takes is to be around the right people and shun modern society's awful trends.

DJB72 · Answer

I'm an old-fashioned guy and I have always preferred to court a lady.

The problem these days is finding someone worthy of being courted. It's like women want to behave the way male stereotypes are depicted by feminism.

That's just not attractive. I'd rather have a lady who dresses modestly and doesn't post thirst-traps online but is wanting to be a wife, not looking for a husband. The two are not the same.

egan3141 · Answer

To make the long accurate answers short: Courtship is for those that want to get married. A lot of people just want sex instead.

exitseven · Answer

I do not know but I know that they are all missing out on something really awesome. I have such great memories of the courtship I had with my wife.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Truth? Most women, at least in my experience, can be bedded within a few dates. Most women in the past made the guys wait, if not for marriage then at least till there was some sort of commitment.

MikeMcMansion · Answer

Women are hit with choice overload on the dating market. They have too many choices where-as the vast majority of men do not. Men don’t think you are worth it/or inversely they don’t think you think they are worth it-and courting would make them look unattractive and too simpy or old fashioned. Unfortunately courting has become a relic of a better bygone era where religion and patriarchy were natural and ubiquitous.

jazzy34 · Answer

Because this is a microwave society. Many people don’t have the patience for a relationship to “cook.” They just want something instant (i. e. hook ups, fwbs, one night stand, etc), usually with no strings attached.

whiskeyontherocks · Answer

I did it. highly recommend to young men not to.
Courtship today means putting in extra effort into a person that will likely not put any effort into you.
And if you have found a man that is willing than you better be willing to reciprocate. I was never respected for my time or effort. Dated very respectable women they just didn’t respect me.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Guys think they can get laid without going through all that. And a lot of times they’re right.

Billlewis · Answer

Because it doesn't pay; women nowadays seem to view romantic or sensitive guys as weak, nerdy and unattractive.

Pohjolan · Answer

Its not that its no more but there is less demand for it and less rewards for it. A lot of women prefer fuckboys and sex without commitment over courtship and a relationship.

HighValue · Answer

Women aren't worth it. MOST women are very low value so there is no point.

SixFootSexy · Answer

Sex = cheap Courtship = expensive Mystery = solved

RichardCranium6201 · Answer

The men who don't do this any more, is because women now a days ain't worth it and don't deserve it. Plain and simple. You women made us like this.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Many times, the art of courtship simply isn't being taught. Far more often, it's because the effort doesn't get appreciated.

NoDecision · Answer

After Eddie's father got courted out of town it was okay.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Nowadays if you courtship you’ll probably end up in court.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Maybe because the castles have fallen in disrepair and there are no more horsed knights?

AngryCarl2 · Answer

Courtship is something you do prior to marriage. If you just want to hook up it's a waste of time.

RavVid · Answer

It has been replaced by Tik Tok videos of guys looking at girls in a gym.

Massageman · Answer

So many things that require actual thoughtful consideration have been lost in today's society. Courtship is one of them, sadly.

Phoenix98 · Answer

There aren't to many old fashioned people left out there.

In_Trance · Answer

Because people started accepting less effort and lowered their standards

Anonymous · Answer

What you're really asking here is why men don't court women anymore. If you can tell me why today's women are not like women of the past, you will have your answer.

Sal_Monella · Answer

Chemical birth control and the Feminist movement.

genericname85 · Answer

Cause it has become impossible since feminazis have framed it as sexual assault

loveslongnails · Answer

Because... "the juice ain't worth the squeeze"

noohair · Answer

Social media has ruined dating and courtship...

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Men have forgotten courtesy because many women don't want it or are frankly put off by it.

NathanDavis · Answer

may I ask... what does that even mean?

jahaims · Answer

Poor cultural and societal values

AgentG111 · Answer

Only to some.

Anonymous · Answer

Men look at porn and use dating apps

Anonymous · Answer

Because it's old-fashioned.

Why is courtship such a lost art in modern dating?

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