Why does modern dating seem like a chore?

Question

It seems like nowadays, dating is more of a chore than it used to be. There are a lot of women and men who are single, but yet it seems like they can't find good quality partners, although many offers to try to date. Dating apps seem not to work very well, and even meetups don't do well anymore. Seems like the ideal dating scene in the 1950s and 1960s was everyone was dating someone and often hung out together. Do you feel like technology has made dating harder, or are we just not the social society we used to be? Do you feel like people can just seriously suck at dating?

Valkyria · Accepted Answer

Superficiality leads to superficial relationships, who knew?

But in all seriousness, there is no nuance in most of today's relationships. The sentences you write answer themselves: for example, it is easy to date, but because it is so easy, nobody is being serious enough about it and are ending up dating people who are rather shallow. When everything becomes easy, you don't need to put hard work and your long time into a relationship. You don't need commitment. You can just leave someone whenever and move on to the next like it never happened. And without this, you obviously don't get a serious relationship.

Meetups obviously don't do well because everyone is online now. You may meet a few people in person, but actually knowing their online life is like getting to know a whole different person. They may be in a relationship already, or they're always on their phones, stuff like that. We have dumbed ourselves down, a lot more people are very socially awkward and struggle to talk to the opposite sex in person... and the loud voices of the online world have shunned men for wanting to find reasonable women, and have rewarded women who want to find superficial men. So obviously it is hard for anyone outside of those boxes; the ones in those boxes are going to get what they wish for, which doesn't lead to anything anyway.

Also, the largest possible dating pool you had was mainly just your location and the outskirts of it. You wouldn't be chatting up someone who lives 15 miles away from you just on foot, you needed your phone for that unless a magic coincidence occurred. And now that the pool is that large, you are just one of a million. Not to mention that some people obviously lie, and lying through text is a lot easier.

In the past, in my opinion, people would walk up to people they like, but now they don't seem to. Nobody who is young can initiate a conversation. Men and women who struggle to talk to each other even though both are head over heels for each other are going to really have a hard time asking each other out in the first place.

TenderFantasy · Accepted Answer

1. It's not the 1950's and 60's anymore. Don't wish for that back because it will never happen. It wasn't an ideal time that much anyway. Segregation was still a thing and you couldn't marry interracially, or at least it was looked down upon. In the late 60's people still protested regarding unfair treatment of the colored. Civil rights movement was very strong still.

2. In the 1950's and 60's people usuall married and had children with their high school boyfriends/partners. Houses and cars were way less expensive and the woman usually became a stay at home mother to raise the children and tend to the husband when he came home from work. Only once the children would be grown and capable of fending for themselves did the wife start venturing out into the workforce, especially if they had white priviledge! Only in colored or minorities families, is probably where the wife actually had to work outside the house, otherwise..

3. It is NOT a chore. People these days just have way too many options and I read that that can be a bad thing, even and especially when it comes to dating or finding someone. People knock people/strike them out for stupid reasons a lot of the time, or give up early because they KNOW that there's another one around the corner!

4. If you really want it, go ahead and get it. There shouldn't be anything that is stopping you really. I've seen couples on youtube where one or both of them were disabled (either permanently or born with it) so if you don't have that, you are already at a good head start/advantage when it comes to finding someone.

ChillaxingLove · Accepted Answer

Because everyone is trying to switch their roles. Women don’t want to be in the house anymore it feels like a jail and on top of that you got men fussing over who is an alpha male which intails making women feel less which intern pushes them to want to prove they are not less by taking on more career focused mindset and being the bread winner, but intern that drives men to feel weak which intern drives men away because a masculine woman is unattractive to a man.

Let me tell you the women have succeeded. There are more phd and master degree holders that are women then men and they are getting high income jobs. But guess what, now their standards have changed. Dating “down” is unattractive to women, they have placed themselves in a position where they seek the top 1% of men in the population. men can date “down” because providing is attractive, but women can’t date “down” because that’s unattractive. So now you see the situation. the argument of traditional women is an out cry desired by men, but women are saying no, I want the bag.

Men like to feel needed, if he can’t provide then he feels less of a man. Some women don’t get that and push back with excuses and the cycle goes round and round until dating feels like garbage and being single feels like heaven.

misogynistic_pig · Accepted Answer

Modern dating can seem like a chore for a number of reasons:

Dating Apps: With the advent of dating apps, it can seem like there are so many more options and hookup possibilities than ever before.

However, this can also make the task of selecting and communicating with potential mates overwhelming and exhausting.

High Expectations: In the age of social media and online profiles, it's easy to compare dating and relationships to the ideals presented in the media and on social media.

This can lead to a sense of pressure and unrealistic expectations, making dating seem like a chore.

Lack of communication skills: Many people feel uncomfortable or insecure in dating and social situations, which can make it difficult to communicate and connect with other people.

Lack of time: In modern society, many people have very busy schedules full of activities.

This can make it difficult to find the time and energy to devote to dating.

In short, modern dating can seem like a difficult task due to the wide range of options and expectations, lack of communication skills, and lack of time.

However, with a positive and realistic approach, and a willingness to work on social skills, it may be possible to find meaningful and fulfilling connections in your love life.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I think it’s because tv tricks people into believing there is an endless supply of people who want to sleep with you, marry you, buy you expensive meals and vacations and move in with you and the dating world is over crowded with aspiring takers and not with aspiring givers. People over value their own sacrifice and undervalue the sacrifice of others and people with unrealistic expectations stay single.

Pinay_ako · Answer

Is only a chore if both of you aren’t invested in it for the long haul…

tesniolite · Answer

First, there is a lot more competition. In the past, people would meet potential partners through their social circles, such as at work, church, or through mutual friends. However, today, people have access to a much wider pool of potential partners through online dating and social media. This can make it more difficult to stand out and find someone who is compatible with you.

Second, people are more likely to be looking for perfection. In the past, people were more likely to settle down with someone who was a good match for them, even if they weren't perfect. However, today, people are more likely to hold out for someone who is their perfect match, which can make the dating process more difficult.

Third, people are more likely to be afraid of commitment. In the past, people were more likely to get married and have children at a younger age. However, today, people are more likely to wait until they are older and more established in their careers before getting married. This can make it more difficult to find someone who is ready for a serious relationship.

Finally, technology has changed the way we interact with each other. In the past, people would meet in person and get to know each other over time. However, today, people are more likely to communicate through text messages, social media, and online dating apps. This can make it more difficult to build a connection with someone and can lead to misunderstandings.

It is important to remember that dating is a numbers game. The more people you meet, the more likely you are to find someone who is compatible with you. So, don't give up! Keep putting yourself out there and meeting new people. The right person is out there for you.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

It's not about technology. It's about people thinking they are entitled to love relationships sex when they do no work on themselves and are low quality trash.

No you can't be a slut and be entitled to a real relationship with a highly desired man. No you can't be a fat video game nerd McDonald's worker and be entitled to lots of dating opportunities.

It's not fucking ok. These people the men and women just living like shit are entitled to nothing except shit.

We used to tell these women don't do that you're gross no man will take you serious. Now we say it's ok. Yet men still don't take them serious. We also used to tell these men to man up and go change the world, make moves, stay fit, be aggressive and get what you want, now we tell them video games and wearing dresses and crying are normal and it's ok... except women hate that shit.

So no. It's not technology. It's people just all being accepting of making themselves as repulsive as possible and duh that shit doesn't work in terms of attracting other people.

DaySpring · Answer

It's not. It's one of the  easiest  things in the world. My mentor found her husband while walking her dog... Her friends, before that, looked at her crazy because she never would get on dating sites or try to meet a guy. "What is he going to fall out the sky" they would say... Well I guess he did.  People who struggle with finding someone are suffering from self sabotage.  Life is not hard. We make it hard. Just look at all the negativity around this post. Everyone has something negative to say about dating. I don't know but usually the masses are wrong.  I'd explain more but you took off the anon button. I'm not putting all my business on here.  But seriously, people need stop with this 20th century is better stuff.  You weren't even alive in 1950.  I'm sure there were people back then who had the same problem. Always is.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

Between work, family, chores, etc., there is very little time to spend finding/dating anymore. People opt to do the online thing, and because it is done from the comfort of your phone on the couch, one cand be way more picky and often look at people out of their league.

Those people we tend to pass over, are those people we may actually meet in real life and consider striking up a conversation. Online dating gives one a false sense of reality and one's overall capabilities, because rejection is easier when it's not in person. People shoot much higher online and wonder why they get no response when they send a message.

If they made the effort to get out of the house once in awhile, there chances of meeting someone would increase dramatically over online dating.

Justneedtokno · Answer

Mainly because no one wants to put in the effort anymore. Women are different and are becoming more self-aware and having more autonomy over their own bodies. Did I mention effort because most people don’t want to jump out of their comfort zones either

LovingJo · Answer

Maybe because the romance has been taken out of it... We have to go online, fill out forms, talk like we're at interviews, until we establish whether we have a connection or not..
If not, we have to start all over again, and it becomes relentlessly tedious..
If we do, there's always the element of doubt and whether it will last.. Or if we will have to start all over again, thinking we had something, but in reality, we didn't? 🤔🤦🏻‍♀️💯

NathanDavis · Answer

I'm not interested on easy... most things that are worth, require effort and dedication... but that's how I see it

t_time · Answer

We live In a world where people are on to the next best thing. We also live in a world where it's instant gratification. I blame social media for a lot of it. Dating is hard these days. It seems like most people don't want to settle down. It also seems like people don't really care about making a relationship work. If something goes wrong I feel like people are already on to the next thing that's easier.

ScorpioMadness · Answer

Of course technology has had an impact on socializing in general. Friends and significant others are just one click away from being tossed into a proverbial recycle bin. Options are unlimited and screen princesses and keyboard warriors can spew whatever sonnet they desire to catch a brief interlude with whomever nearly whenever.

We are simply not what we were with the advancement of it all. Just my opinion though.

HighValue · Answer

Because of a great divide in morals. In the USA the majority of women are liberal (68%) and the majority of men are conservative. Completely different morals. It is difficult to date someone when you actually hate each other.

Do you know any trans child abusing druggies that support riots robbery and racism against Whites and Asians that would get along well with a law abiding, family oriented working White Christian man? No? Well, there you have it.

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Because the effort is far greater than the reward, most of the time. It’s really hard to get excited about dating someone when you know that you are most likely going to have to wade through tons of BS and emotional resistance to form a decent connection with the person, and that connection can fall apart at any second for any reason. It’s just tough to want to put effort into that.

Unit1 · Answer

Tell me all about it mate.

Why does modern dating seem like a chore?

I have the idea to relocate to Thailand and work remotely for european/American jobs and end the misery of going through dating just to find 1 gem among 1000 attention seeking sandgrains.

Besides Thailand has exotic beaches to relish.

Massageman · Answer

Yes, darn near everything is harder these days.

The dating scene in the 50's and 60's was very different since the country was in the midst of the post-ww2 "baby boom". There were teens all over the place- American Bandstand was on the air- contact was inevitable. Now, those teens are us old guys and gals, and today's teens date remotely by phone. blech

Filthy_Immigrant · Answer

dating is actually worst than a chore nowadays!

its a waste of time. I dont think technology is responsible for its fuckup. it has to do more with women having so much high ass expectations nowadays while they not contributing to anything in return.

and let's be honest we men have been allowing this for too damn long

Jamie05rhs · Answer

I think society as a whole is just "done" with relationships, period. Even those who have never been in a relationship before are wary of them.

Of course, this is why the housing crisis is so bad. Because everyone wants to just do their own thing. "F marriage." ... It's understandable, though!

Cupido29 · Answer

It's the hookup culture. It's a very long argument, you can write entire books about this problem and its contradictions.

Kayla45 · Answer

It's only a chore if you make it out to be one, find some middle ground between you two and work from there, hear each other's thoughts and opinions out.

Fireguy17 · Answer

dating in general, even years/decades ago was a lot of work, it can almost be like a 2nd job. While somethings have changed over the years every generation had their own unique issues.

Why does modern dating seem like a chore?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why does modern dating seem like a chore?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.