What helped you the most in dating?

[Anonymous]

[Hardon-Collider]

Defining "dating" helps.

If you mean "finding a partner" then it's not supposed to be a frequent recurring event.

Thus i consider anyone who treats dating as a hobby to be an idiot. ㅤ

Hope this helps.

[Hardon-Collider]

This is a word-for-word exact same question as the very first featured banner on the front of the homepage, asked 2 days ago.

What you are looking for is getting to know a person, many people, because you don't just run into "the one" suddenly. Familiarizing doesn't have to be a secluded meeting at all. Try not confusing "familiarizing" with "being romantic".

If you do that, you will stop being shocked that simply spending some minutes getting to know a person doesn't guarantee that they magically become the perfect match for you. Be real, most people are not your perfect matches. Thus, if "dating" is your filtration stage, then it will by definition fail most of the time. Sounds like that's what you've been doing.

And if dating is not ending in rejections, and you're not dating acquaintances, then, let's just say that upon success there's a high chance the water you drink doesn't differ in quality from ocean water.

I think the deal is that people lack patience and want to feel the romance before they are sure that they have the fitting person. And you should have left it behind in the teen years. Ages 21-28 mark the 4th 7 year cycle (you know, how there is the milk teeth replacement at 7, puberty at 14, ability to consent at 21, and in the middle of 4th cycle is age 25 when neuroscience considers "the point of maturation") you're supposed to be not just be thinking for yourself but also transforming your inner life so you can actually perceive the destiny of others, not just quenching your cravings. Recognize a karmic connection when it stands before you.

"P. s.".. karma is the progress bar of the soul's development. When matching with someone by it, you are feeding the relationship based on nutrition. If you only look for the "spark," you are feeding it based on taste. A mature adult should know that you can't live on candy alone.

So patience and honesty. Not for dating's sake. For yourself.

[Summeroflove]

Number one. Getting out and meeting people. Get off the internet. And I don’t mean approaching randos. Like getting to actually know someone.

Set standards. There are turds out there obviously. But there is also people who aren’t bad people who deserve to find someone. And wasting someone’s time obviously isn’t good for me if I know I don’t see a future with someone. But it’s also not okay to string them along. Even if it hurts. Even if they really like you… let them go. So you both can find someone whose right.

Have boundaries and don’t be scared to leave. Nobody is perfect. But someone who genuinely has your best interests at heart will apologize when they cross boundaries. They respect you. They don’t intentionally try to test you.

If someone cannot respect even the most common sense of boundaries after you respectfully communicated it. Then just leave. People like that aren’t worth your time or energy.

Maybe it’s sexual. Maybe someone’s trying to get you to do something you don’t wanna do or aren’t ready for. Testing your morals and values to see if you’ll break for them and give in. It’s predatory…. But happens a lot.

If you don’t want someone calling you at 2 AM without a emergency. And at 2 am when you have to go to work in the morning they call you just to talk. Hang up and just cut the relationship off. If you agree you can call or text anytime that’s one thing.

It is stuff like that.::: if they are too negative to you. Cut them out. There is a difference between honesty. Good…. And just genuinely being negative.

[lilBigPotato]

learning to go in with no expectations. If I have a nice evening, good. If I meet someone I want to see again, even better. If it was a giant waste of time, I have at least something to chat about with my friends...

If you overthink, go in with the wrong mindset and expectations... the chance of you leaving disappointed are high

[jennifer_bloom]

Everybody told me to focus on God and his standards, and that would attract everything else into your life. I had a friend who scored higher than me on exams in the gifted program in high school, but I got straight A’s and she did not finish school. Because I was more religious than her.

[Finchie40]

My personality , once a girl gets’ to know me she tends to want to get To know me more , I can’t speak for every girl but the ones I ended up with all said they loved my personality and how I am not a very judgmental person , and how I treat others’ with respect and they also loved my humor. , I just treat girls’ the same way I want to be treated in return and it seems to work for me

[AviatorTom]

True Story: After our amicable divorce, my ex-wife suggested I try one of the online dating sites. It worked.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

The fact that I've talked to a lot of different people over time, thinking about what they say and why they're saying it, observing what they feel, how they manifest, their values, these feelings they show or hide. Everything that makes them who they are.

Without this, I would feel irremediably lost in dating, because I wouldn't know how to understand her, what to do with her, who I am in her eyes. I suppose I would just date faces, bodies, statuses. That would be so bleak and alienating.

[Zack-Bann]

Ironically the less I cared the better my results got


Problem was: I didn’t care


And whenever I meet someone I come to care about I’m hit with a heartbreak and can’t cope with it


It truly sucks how much the balance of power shifts based on who’s more invested


And it’s clear that relationships only work when the woman is more invested than the man.
I don’t know why that is but it’s just the way it is

[Awesomesauce2005]

Being lucky and knowing not to settle for less. I'm 20 years old and I've only gotten 1 girl to say yes to a date and we stayed together for about a year. I met her at a Laundromat when I was 19 and It ended when I told her what I wanted our future to be like together and she got mad at me. That was the day I discovered that I was engaged to a liberal feminist 😢

[c704710]

A woman interested in me took the lead. And I was interested in her. We fell in love. Married 12 years now.

[Asker]

That’s a beautiful way for things to come together. It sounds like you both found the right connection, and 12 years is wonderful.

[Lliam]

Being genuine.
Treating the girl with respect.
Doing fun things together.
Making it obvious that I liked them.

[Purpleronnie]

I have no idea , asking my lady she says and I quote “ the right combination of hot and cute “ .. so let’s go with that 😜😇

[Nikki1989]

I just be myself. Dating was always easy, and even the bad dates were fun in one way or another.

[egan3141]

Being in school. Ever sense I finished school, I have only managed a handful of dates, and none of them worked out.

[Kelley1]

Behaving and dressing with class appropriate for the situation.

[exitseven]

It really was getting over my fear of asking a girl on a date. Even if I knew that a girl liked me I was still afraid to make a move.

[sportsbraslikes]

Mutual respect and trust. Always remember to treat the person the way you want your siblings to be treated

[Chthou95]

Not dating. The only winning is not to play

[Chthou95]

Move*

[NathanDavis]

truly being myself...

[queenofcardio]

Being honest about what i want

[DishLady]

NOT dating.

[MemeSupreme]

having a good bullshitter meter

[itsannalee]

My face

[Massageman]

Finding tolerant females.

[Alex-Snow]

Being open minded and honest.

[AngryCarl2]

Not giving a f***.

[MannMitAntworten]

Probably my being charismatic.

[Anonymous]

My woman's intuition.

[ABC1x1x]

Never give a fuck what a bitch thinks.

[Anonymous]

Nothing, I never had a date :(

[Jmmmfi4]

Nothing literally

[MikeMcMansion]

Looks

[loveslongnails]

Variety

[jahaims]

Being mature

[shortster]

Facebook dating

[Anonymous]

Nothing