Would it be wrong of me to ask the guy I'm dating if he'd consider dating his friend?

[Anonymous]

I'm new to dating, I don't want to be toxic, or controlling, or do something unfair and I'm struggling to understand what is and isn't okay to ask in my scenario.

The guy I'm dating has a male friend. I don't know the friends sexuality but the guy I'm dating is into both men and women. The guy I'm talking to told me his friend recently found out through a mutual friend of ours that my guy is talking to me. The second he found out he called my guy, woke him up, and asked him if he was cheating on him. This guy also buys him a ton of stuff, has a 'joking' pact that they'll get together if they're both single at 30, and my guy has told me before that he's not sure if the guy is being serious or not when he flirts with him.

I got upset about this and we had a long talk where he told me he thinks the guy likes women and the pact was just a joke and a lot of his friends flirt with him. But it feels like a lot with this specific guy. Am I allowed to ask him if this guy confessed to him if he'd consider getting with him? Is that unfair?

[HollyK21]

If you’re the same woman I spoke with before that said her boyfriend is currently living with that guy as well then I don't know why you’re still with him. Yes, the friendship sounds shady but he’s content with the dynamic of it. If that friendship were to end it has to be on his accord, not because of your consistent nagging. I think ideally for you it would be great if he just ended that friendship but you shouldn’t have to give him an ultimatum, because he will pick the person who isn’t giving him one which is his friend. Your best bet is to end that relationship if you can’t handle the friendship, which sucks but your man already knows exactly how you feel about his friend and doesn’t want to cut him off. So now you need to do what’s best for you.

[Asker]

This is my first time posting on this site and my guy doesn't live with the man. And he and I have only talked about it this once. 🥹 Sorry for the confusion!

[HollyK21]

Ok cool! I’d still keep my opinion on it though, given the context it still fits. Even if you haven’t brought this up several times, he still has an idea how you feel about it and chooses to keep that friendship. Meaning it’s now for you to decide if you wanna stay with someone who has such a dynamic with his friend.

[DishLady]

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[Anonymous]

It might sound narrow minded, but bisexual guys tend to be far more gay than straight.


So you probably don’t stand much of a chance if the “friend” got serious about playing grab-ass in the shower


I would advise staying away and focusing on a straight guy


But if you like this guy you can still try your luck
Worst case scenario he dumps you

[Staximus]

Don't date bisexual guys unless you want STDs

[Anonymous]

I'd feel insecure too. It's an intense reaction calling him and waking him up to confront him.

[WhitneySnow]

I think that’s fair to ask

[Cute_User513]

Agreed if you want the relationship to work out communication is key!

[WhitneySnow]

@Cute_User513 it sounds like these two guys may have had a relationship a while before one of them started dating the asker

[Cute_User513]

Oh i thought they where friends who where joking around but had never actually been in a series relationship with each other but i also don’t know but I still think communications key

[WhitneySnow]

@Cute_User513 yes! Communication is definitely key.

[Cute_User513]

😜 🙃 ☺️

[Anonymous]

It's a guy thing lots of men flirt with men

[Anonymous]

Go for it seems rude of him

[In_Trance]

yes it would