SShould I follow up?

[Anonymous]

I matched with a guy on a dating app. The conversation was good, flirty, and engaged. He seemed genuinely interested and even talked about meeting up, like he was available and open to it.

The last time we talked was Dec 31 around 8pm. I suggested meeting up sometime soon, nothing pushy, just casually suggested it. Since then, he hasn’t responded at all it’s now almost three days later. This includes New Year’s Day and the start of the weekend.

I haven’t double-texted or followed up yet. I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt because of the holiday, but the silence feels confusing since he previously seemed enthusiastic.

Does this usually mean loss of interest?

Being busy / distracted?

Avoiding saying no directly?

Or is this still within a normal window?

Follow up

Unmatch him

Be patient.

Updates

6 mo

We are hanging out now. He got wasted on NYE and NY. Thank you for those who told me to follow up.

[Summeroflove]

I can understand maybe someone’s busy on a holiday. Yes, follow up but if he doesn’t respond to that. The balls in his court…. You’re showing interest and investment. If someone won’t show it back either they lost interest, we’re using you, or are playing games. In any of those cases it’s not worth it.

Some people are cowards don’t demand a explanation from them it’s just not even worth it. Some people loose interest but keep someone on the back burner in case nothing else works out. They still have you…

Some people use people especially on dating apps. Some people are talking to a LOT of people… So you could be one of many people he's interacting with. It’s a means of validation and ego boosting. Some people are there for shits and giggles. Some people use people for sex but sometimes it won’t even go that far. They just want to see who they can pull, what their options are, and makes them feel validated as well as boosts egos. It’s not genuine attraction.

Some people also play hard to get. They do it for many reasons. Investment should work both ways. Otherwise it’s one sided.

[Asker]

We are hanging out now thank you

[Summeroflove]

You’re welcome. Take it for what it is if it’s consistent. You hang out…. Then he ignores you. It’s fine if someone says they’re busy for a few days.

But without a exclamation and it’s consistent. Red flags. But wish you the best

[HollyK21]

If you’re really interested in the guy, nothing’s wrong with reaching out again, it’s not like you’re blowing up his phone by simply sending a follow up text. However I think it’s important to make note of how reluctant you feel about doing so because it could be your intuition trying to tell you something.


Often times we can answer our own questions about a guy based off their actions. For example, if he starts off strong by consistently communicating, maybe even sending good morning/good night texts every day only for it to fizzle out in a few days/weeks then he’s most likely showing his true nature and it comes with inconsistency.


Don’t get me wrong, texting/calling works both ways, but in this case it’s not about you being stubborn or not wanting to text first, it’s about the fact that he’s cool with both ignoring your message and having not spoken to you for days. Not even just a quick text to wish you happy new year. So do some thinking before you send the text and really consider not only what you’re stepping outside your comfort zone to accommodate, but who. Spare your future self of any hurt or disappointment if you’re already seeing the signs.

[HollyK21]

He was wasted every minute of all 48 hours? He didn’t get up to eat, piss, nothing?

[Staximus]

The guy is either busy or busy with another girl, is a flake, or he chickened out. If the conversation was all messages and no actual phone calls, it being "good, flirty, and engaged" doesn't really mean shit and has little actual bearing on how you're going to get along and interact in real life. Him being a flake and not messaging you back does indicate flakiness in general, though. You already suggested meeting up, the ball is in his court. Just move on with your life and let him fuck off into the sunset. If he messages you back in a week or two, just tell him you're not going to be kept on the back burner until he can put you into his schedule or rotation.

[Asker]

We are hanging out now

[leva543]

Follow is totally normal.

[Zionne]

no person don't touch their phone in 2 days lol