Guys am I transphobic just bc I refused to date a man who has a past of dating a Trans woman?

[Selingrmn]

English isn’t my first language, sorry if I make mistakes.
I moved to Seattle about a year ago. I met a guy and we were seeing each other, everything was fine. Then I saw an old photo on his social media from a couple of years ago where he was very close with a trans woman. When we talked about past relationships, I asked him about it. He said they dated before but broke up.
After that, I honestly lost attraction. I didn’t mean to be rude, but I got quiet. When the bill came, he wanted to pay, but since I didn’t plan to see him again, I paid and went home. The next day he asked what was wrong. I told him I’m only attracted to completely straight men and that I can’t be comfortable with someone who dated a trans woman. I said I’m not judging him, it’s just how I feel. He said he’s not gay and that his ex had bottom surgery, but that didn’t really change how I feel. Then he got angry and threatened to report me at work for being transphobic and even said he would sue me. I don’t think I’m transphobic. Is this really how things work in the U. S?

[RxR0954]

That is transphobic, you might not hate trans women or wish they go to hell, but what you said is transphobic in nature, its undertone and things like that. Basically how it is, is that you have a very narrow view on trans women and i also assume you haven’t seen or met many trans woman in real life. Personally i am a lesbian and i have been with trans women, and i can tell you they are nothing, NOTHING, like men, as they are women, and i see them as women. So the same thing applies for a straight dude who date trans women, he’s still straight.

[Selingrmn]

Preference is transphobic?

[RxR0954]

let’s say you think trans women are men and let’s say your boyfriend is bisexual, then what you said made you biphobic as well and that’s another reason for him to be mad at you. You can have your preferences, noone said you can’t, it still matters how you present yourself in the way you speak though.

[Razberry_pumpkin]

Trans women aren't women. They are me pretending to be women and will never be women no matter what they do. They are just men in dresses and make up

[Koneko911]

Transphobic not exactly but i do think you have a very offensive mindset. A Trans women is a women. That man is straight and you implying he's not is very ignorant and actually never mind no thats homophobic and transphobic so yes you are

[Selingrmn]

You guys are delusional

[Koneko911]

Im not. The fact she wants to basically look down on a man because he was with another women (yes trans but still a women) and basically imply he's now gay or tainted is highly rooted in homophobia and transphobia

[bowenw]

I don't think you are transphobic, you just have a preference for completely straight men. I don't believe your preference gives him any leg to stand on when it comes to reporting you or suing you because you have not done anything wrong. You are not saying you hate trans people.

[Selingrmn]

I am sharing the same attitude with you but he claims he’s a straight guy bc his ex had a bottom surgery and has a neovagina

[bowenw]

That may be so, but you are still entitled you having your own preferences.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[loveslongnails]

Does it matter if other people tell you "yeah, you're transphobic"? Will that change how you feel? Other than this account, do you dislike trans people because they're trans? Are you prejudiced towards them? Do they scare you? Do you harbor hatred towards them? Do you consider them equals as far as human rights are concerned?

That's what you have to ask yourself if you think you're transphobic. Wanting to date only 100% straight guys yourself doesn't mean you hate gays. But you should examine yourself and at least TRY to determine why it bothers you so much. It may be complicated, or you may just end up saying "I don't know why, I don't care why, I just do". Or something in between.

[Selingrmn]

When I came to US I realize that stigmatization is so strong and very different from the rest of the world. That’s why I don’t want to be labeled as transphobic. If I was in my own county I wouldn’t even care to explain myself but you even have a possibility of losing your job in here

[loveslongnails]

I'm well aware of how fucked up the USA truly is. You won't lose your job if you keep your thoughts about hyper-sensitive subjects OFF of social media.

[Kaneki05]

Well it's transphobic or stupid because I don't see a single logical reason why this would matter or effect anything.
But it's dumb for him to be so offended and threaten to sue you. That sounds unhinged so you probably dodged a bullet tho with bad reasoning.

[Selingrmn]

That matters to me because if he can date a man who calles himself a woman then he can also date a man who calls himself a man. These pronouns things are only valid in US and not everybody has to follow these rules

[Kaneki05]

So? That's not a logical reason. It's a made up emotional reason you've taken as your position. Let's say if I married a girl who was totally Bi no shame about it and we spent our lives together what overall different outcome would it have if I did the same thing with a straight girl?
The answer is nothing.
And if your worried about cheating well straight cheat all the time so that don't work as any argument.

[Selingrmn]

It might be okay for you but I prefer a man who is completely straight

[Kaneki05]

Yes a preference on something that changes precisely nothing hence my conclusion either stupid or it does have a reason like transphobic or possibly more homophobic but you do not want to admit that being the reason.

[Staximus]

Yeah he's gay, he had sex with a man. That's why he's mad. He can't sue you or any of that bullshit. Don't even worry about it. Move to a more conservative community where you don't have to worry about angry gays.

[Selingrmn]

I didn’t even know that he has a right to sue me but everythings in America seems so different from rest of the world so I checked the possibility.

[Staximus]

Not wanting to have sex with a guy who has sex with guys does not make you anything, it means you're normal.

[Anonymous]

I don’t believe you can sue another person over their dating preferences. Anti discrimination laws do not cover dating preferences last time I checked

[genericname85]

no, you're just normal. it's just gaslighting terminology. that's all.

[bifus]

Yes. If that's the only reason, that's textbook transphobia.

[Berethor]

You might be transphobic but who cares? trans are disgusting, I don't think he can sue you.

[Nemesis2k7]

All that trans stuff is stupid anyway. Its all a status symbol. And a way to “conform” to the “new”

[Anonymous]

100%.