Is it transphobic to not want to date a trans person?

[Anonymous]

I overheard an argument between a gay male friend of mine and a straight female friend and my the guy said he wouldn't date an FTM and she called him transphobic. What do you think?

Yes

No

It depends on why you wouldn't date them

Updates

+1 y

This question is specifically about transgender people and how they are viewed in society. I saw this girl calling someone transphobic with no evidence as to why the comment the person made was transphobic considering the definition of the word 'transphobic'. I just wanted to see what others felt, especially concerning whether or not transgender people can be seen as their own gender category (hopefully this makes sense)

[LauraMarx]

I mean it is and you all know it is don't fuck with me -.-

I hate this nonsense worst of all, personally. This intentionally obfuscatory nonsense. If someone is like, 'fuck transgender freaks' or w/e we both know where we stand in relation to each other and we can loathe each other bitterly and go about things but these insidious creeps who are like "oh, you know, I support transgender rights, but I wouldn't... SLEEP with one of them..." and then they go into some nonsense about their rights or some ridiculous comparison. It is never a real experience. I know exactly what they're doing, they know exactly what they're doing, but they have somehow tricked everyone around us into believing their bullshit and I have to either go along with the performance and say "ha ha yeah, r-right, I-I-I'm t-toally cool with that, that's n-not fucked up at all" or I can acknowledge what I know and get pissed or walk away or whatever but then everyone will get on like this, you know, like I was unreasonable, but it isn't just some abstract political disagreement that doesn't matter now like it is with open transmisogynists (I am not treating here any longer of the trans man and the gay dude), it's part of some deadly theater where I am now and forever one of those Disgusting Autogynephiles, who are cruel and inherently predatory and unreasonable and I lose all of my credibility,

I am talking about these answerers, not you QA. sigh. I am saying I am so sick of this. I am sick of this discourse of legitimacy always ending on sex. I am sick of always entering this theater of mirrors on this website. I am sick of it, you know?

There is no reason for a trans lesbian to interact with anyone but other trans lesbians. So I am done with everyone.

[Asker]

Wow. This is a very interesting, and quite different viewpoint. If you don't mind me asking, why do you think people say it's not?

[LauraMarx]

lol sorry I really blew up. I don't know. To isolate trans women from the order of production so they can more easily rob us of our emotional and sexual labour. We exist to be a shoulder to cry on, and to be raped, and then to die. That's how labour is divided for us. Our having fulfilling emotional relationships doesn't factor into it. So they have to destroy us, by discrediting us. They have to turn us even against ourselves. This is why there is something very special, and very very difficult, about trans dyke separatism.

But this is about trans women specifically. You aren't even asking about trans women, lol.

[NedfromtheNed]

HAHAHAHA!! This is amazing! But i do agree with you when you say, "There is no reason for a trans lesbian to interact with anyone but other trans lesbians."

[hhhhhhhhhbhhhhhh]

I see how it would be transphobic from the trans point of view, but everyone is entitled to their own preferences. And in saying that it is transphobic for a straight man to not wanna date a trans person you are saying that all straight men should be into it. And you can’t expect an entire group of people to have similar preferences to you. You have to look at it from all viewpoints.

[Yourmomsentme]

Let me tell you all the reason why you are fucking wrong about all of this. You can support gay rights and not be gay. You don’t have to be 100% in on trans people to support there right to be who they are you don’t have to date them or be attracted to them for that support. It’s the same as you watching football and not playing in it or participating. There are country’s where they kill you for being gay or trans. On sight the fact that stupid people like you want to tell people we are not supportive because we don’t want to fuck trans people is ungrateful as fuck to the people that fought for those right and to make it more acceptable for people to be who they are.

[Jjdub7]

Utterly gross. A straight man pretending he’s a “lesbian” and then forcing himself into lesbian spaces with a bunch of finger pointing and jargon. Despicable and you need to be called out more and more. You will not appropriate marginalized people’s identities unchecked. Stay with your fellow transbians. At least I can admit I’m a gay man.

[Anonymous]

The answer is no. Simply put, no!

I'm all for LGBT rights, and I'm very open minded. But I'm not attracted to trans people. I'm attracted to cisgender male human beings. That's what I'm attracted to and that's who I want to date.

The only downside I've noticed with the LGBT acceptance movement is that some people have become so open minded in one direction that they've closed their mind in the opposite direction. Its totally ok for a trans person to want to identify a certain way and only date the people they're attracted to but god forbid a heterosexual person has their own sexual desires. I don't know why we can't just accept sexuality for what it is, and gender identity for what it is.

[Vesuvius87]

No, that's your preference and you're attracted to what you like. This is the same as me having no interest in dating women because I'm not attracted to women.

If they're calling you a transphobic for simply not wanting a trans person (I don't either), then I must be a lesbianphobic for not ever wanting to date women.

[Vesuvius87]

Besides that, there are certain people I don't want to date either. I don't want to date an obese guy. Does that mean I have hatred for fat guys?

[Illusive_Man]

No... if you were to say... trans should have the right to vote or welfare or basic human rights enjoyed by the straights then yes , you're a transphobic but if you were to say not want to date a trans because you are not attracted to trans you're not transphobic.

It's just that you're straight or les or gay or asexual or bisexual or space-sexual or whatever, not into trannies.

[LauraMarx]

I have had enough of you.

[Illusive_Man]

@LauraMarx
FUCK!
I missed the "not have" lol
Fucking hel

[Illusive_Man]

amazing how omission of ONE little 3 letter word can change my entire stance ain't it?

[LauraMarx]

I don't know what you're talking about but tranny is a slur and I hate you specifically

[Illusive_Man]

@LauraMarx
Context... it's a thing.

[LilWeezey]

But dyke isn't offensive @LauraMarx

[LauraMarx]

@LilWeezey? ? what are you talking about..,

[LilWeezey]

On your profile it says Dyke

[YuukiSetsushi]

@LilWeezey Hi there! Quick slur history for you. D*** has been used as an offensive term to describe lesbians dating back to the about the 17th century. Since the 1900s has been reclaimed by some lesbians while some still find it offensive, and the general consensus is that someone who is not a lesbian or who is not given specific permission by a lesbian for that instance should not use the slur. Thank you!

[DarkHumorRUs]

Seriously?
Is it heterophobic to not want to date a straight person?
So you think I hate men cause I don't wanna date them or something? Fuck off.

[Asker]

.. I literally never said any of those things. Nor did I give my opinion on the subject. I actually overheard people having this conversation and was curious about how others felt. But it's nice to see you being so respectful of others and asking things before assuming.

[DarkHumorRUs]

Okay sorry I just get riled up at this shit. Tell your straight female friend to fuck off. We all know what she's implying when she calls him "transphobic".

[Asker]

Yeah I think she's trying to invalidate his sexuality personally but I did want to see what other people thought about the subject

[MrOracle]

Being "transphobic" means that you hate trans people and you don't think they should enjoy basic human rights. But that's not what we're talking about here.

I think that ADULTS who are trans have the right to live how they choose (provided they aren't harming others) and have all the same basic rights as anyone else. They can dress and identify as they like. However, they are NOT entitled to have OTHERS be attracted to them. NO ONE IS. Many people are attracted to them, and many others are not, and that's not going to change, nor should there be any expectation otherwise.

Actions have consequences and life is not fair, and you are NOT entitled to dictate to anyone else how they're allowed to feel or think. You can engage in conversation an debate, but you are not entitled to force your opinion on them regarding their thoughts and feelings. ACTIONS can be regulated, but thoughts may not be.

Unfortunately, the Far Left is doing everything they can to do exactly that: dictate to people what their thoughts and feelings should be according to them. And that is wrong, and it doesn't matter what the specific subject matter is.

[JustSittingQueer]

So personally, I believe it’s not transphobic (under certain circumstances). If your reasoning, is that you have a preference of a certain group of people (as long as it’s not racist), then it is valid. If your feeling is relative in the sense that you don’t want to date a trans person because “they are still there original gender”, then that’s transphobic. It’s not mal-intent if your preference is a certain body type, or characteristics of someone to date. Like personally, I prefer masculine men, with preferred genitals. I haven’t found interest in any transgender guy, because none have stood up to the plate. Now that’s not saying I wouldn’t date a trans person, that’s just me wanting certain things out of a relationship. Just saying, getting mad at someone for harmless preference, is very close-minded and bigotry. Sorry that some people have preferences, sorry that they want certain things out of life. What I’m not sorry for, is that you’re a fucking nonce if you call people transphobic for having preference. I’ll re-say what I had just written. It is not transphobic to have preferences, but it is transphobic to not date a trans person, because they’re trans.

[Jjdub7]

Trying to shame people for racial preferences is disgusting.

[FlyingTurtle]

Being "phobic" means you have a strong fear or hatred of something. Not wanting to date someone because of who/what/how they are doesn't mean you're "phobic" of them. Just means they don't fit into the box that you want your significant other to fit into.

[Anonymous]

People have personal preferences sexually, it doesn't mean they hold a bias against a certain group. I'm not racist (I am all against racism) but wouldn't want to date outside my race. I'd prefer to be with someone who is familiar with my culture and its also just personal preferences. So no, not wanting to date a trans person doesn't make you transphobic.

[Asker]

Race and culture aren't synonymous. We had this discussion awhile ago about why it is racist to say you wouldn't date a specific race. However, not wanting to date outside of your culture is fine and understandable. But please, understand that it is not a preference to say you don't want to date a specific race because race isn't homogenous like culture. You can be a white Japanese person or an Ethiopian mongoloid (a descendant of immediate mongoloid peoples dwelling in Ethopia). You can be a mongoloid and have an American culture. You have to understand the differences between words before you make a claim about your preferences

[Opinion Owner]

They may not be synonymous but they do correlate. It is a preference; I want to be with someone who has similar phenotype to mine and is of the same culture. How is that racist? Its a preference. Peferring someone similar to me doesn't mean I think less of others who are different.

[Asker]

It's racist because phenotype is not homogenous. When you look at a person like Paula Patton or Mariah Carey, their phenotypes are very ambiguous. A lot of people don't even know that they are black women. It is racist because it's like saying "I won't date an Asian-descended person" even though every asian-descended person has a different phenotype. Race is not genetic, therefore, phenotype is not embedded in the concept of race. Race is a construct use to divide groups of people based on very arbitrary guidelines. It is not homogenous like biological sex (e. g. all biological females have XX chromosomes). What is something ALL people of one 'race' have in common? Absolutely nothing.

[Jjdub7]

Oh well then I’m racist

[Jjdub7]

Screw these entitled, hypocritical women. My body is not a public accommodation. If this same conversation were happening to her outside the topic of trans, this woke idiot harpy would be rightfully screaming about sexual harassment.

No means no, and any reason is valid. I’m not capable (let alone willing) of having sex with a female. These people are like a woke demented version of the church - “oh you just haven’t found the right [vagina] yet”. Utterly disgusting, and even worse so from the point where some of the most supportive people in the gay rights era have now become these sick, “progressive” homophobes with the same zeal - proving that they never actually supported us in the first place, they just wanted to virtue signal. Gross. Cut the woman out of your friend group, she’s revolting.

[Dacalasherie1]

It depends on why you wouldn’t date them.
I’m a pansexual and I understand what it’s like for people to have some type of phobia of us.
So if you were straight Per se? You’re female and you don’t like other females or male and don’t like males. Sexual orientation doesn’t make it a specific phobia or discrimination. if you’re saying this is transphobic you’re basically saying bi people are transphobic if they only like the 2 generalized genders. Or saying if a woman wouldn’t date a trans person because that’s not their sexual orientation it’s not about you or what you prefer to identify as , Male, female, them , they be yourself. Don’t take it to heart if it’s as simple as that. And I might get a little backlash for saying what I said but I meant it and I have nothing further to say On the subject because I’m not trans so I don't know how it feels but I am a black lgbtq female teen so I understand discrimination at least.

[Anonymous]

No more so than it's "fat phobic" not to want to date a fat person. Here's the thing that all these politically correct douches are missing: people don't have to "justify" WHY they like one sort of person over another when it comes to dating any more than they need to justify why they prefer pepperoni over anchovies on pizza. They like what they like.

[LauraMarx]

lmao you seen what I mean about these ridiculous comparisons! Now we're talking about pizza! You can't have a straight conversations with these unbearable liberals. I hate them so much

[Opinion Owner]

Why does this make me an unbearable liberal? Also, why should anyone HAVE to want to date someone for ANY reason? That's straight up nonsense. It's like pissing and moaning when you don't get the job you want or into the school you want and trying to claim the employer or university is (your cause here) phobic.

[NedfromtheNed]

THANK YOU ! ^

[Opinion Owner]

@NedfromtheNed, thank YOU! lol! Glad I'm not the only one tired of this nonsense.

[LauraMarx]

try speaking to me without using analogies I want you to try doin it I wanna see what you come up with. Reword your answer without using analogies

[Opinion Owner]

No analogies needed. Individuals are free. They can choose what they want to do with their bodies and with whom. You don't get to decide that. If they don't want to share it with someone for ANY reason, that's completely within their right. To try to deny them of that right is bigoted in the extreme.

[PeterPan11]

I wish you wouldn't have gone anonymous. I agree with your opinion completely

[Opinion Owner]

Thanks @PeterPan11.

[LilWeezey]

I agree with anon

[JordanRiver]

@LauraMarx I really respect your opinion and I see where you’re coming from. I just want to give the perspective of someone who’s really trying to be open minded here. This is my idea: I know this question isn’t all about sex, but in my opinion, I find sex to be an important part of a relationship. I personally wouldn’t want to be with a girl who is pre-op just because I dont find myself physically attracted to penises. I don’t think that’s transphobic. I’m not opposed to trans women or their bodies, I want to support them as much as possible! I just don't feel sexually attracted to them, in the way I’m not attracted to males either. (I know this is an old post but I was looking for insight on this topic.)

[Opinion Owner]

@JordanRiver Agreed--yours is not a trans-phobic opinion. At least not if "trans-phobic" is to have any meaning that most of us would recognize. Also, there's a WORLD of difference between "not opposed to" and "will sleep with."

[Liveyyy]

Just because someone won't date a transgender person doesn't necessarily mean they have a phobia of them. Personally, I would not date a guy who used to be a girl. That's just my preference, it doesn't mean I have transphobia.

[Asker]

Do you think transsexualism is natural (in-born condition like biological sex) or a social construct such as race/gender (not biological sex)/etc? I ask because things that are constructs are, by their nature, difficult to define. Therefore, saying you wouldn't date someone based on those factors would make you prejudice against them (considering there wouldn't be a single thing that you could pinpoint as a reason to exclude them all)

[Liveyyy]

I don't think it's "natural," because obviously people had to unnaturally get surgery in order to be that way. They weren't made that way, they had to artificially turn that way. I think it's probably something biological that they were born with that caused them to want to change, like unbalanced hormones. Although, I have nothing to stand on because I haven't done any research. I feel as though environmental factors also pertain to their decision to change. I don't think saying I wouldn't date them means I'm prejudice, it's just like if you're straight you wouldn't date the same sex. Being prejudice is judging someone or something before you know them. Not wanting to date a transgender does not mean I don't support them in their decision or how they feel about themselves. I say you should do what makes you happy.

[MCslade]

You are entitled to YOUR STANDARDS! Whether the person wanting to date you can't meet your standards or not they are as you make them. If you like f people or skinny people or tall people or trans people, it is your standards you hold and don't evelet someone lower them by calling you a tranphobic or homophobic. You date who you want and let all the people who tried move on.

[PeterPan11]

Exactly!

[DeltaDanner]

Just because you aren't attracted to a certain group doesn't mean you have a fear or hatred of them. I won't date gay people, because I'm straight, but that doesn't mean I'm homophobic.

[Asker]

Interesting. But what if it's the case such that the group is not homogenous (i. e. there isn't one specific trait that they all carry that would justify your unattraction to every member of said group)? I ask because some believe that trans people would fall into that category which would thus, make one prejudice because he or she would have no reason to rule out every single member of said group

[DeltaDanner]

I suppose you could say we are all homogenous (in our own way of coarse). For instance let's say you aren't attracted to African Americans. You do not hate them, or fear them, and you have plenty of African American friends. Of coarse not all African Americans are the same, but you aren't particularly attracted to them. This could be said for any race, gender, sexuality etc. Just as I'm not attracted to gay people, I know they aren't all the same, and I know there are great gay people. I'm just not attracted to them.

[Asker]

But what would not make you attracted to African American people is my point. If you say the way they look, that's a fallacy because race is not genetic, therefore does not predict the way one would look (you have AA women who look like Shailene Woodley, some like Beyonce, and some like Lupita N'yongo and everything in between). If you say personality/socially, this is also a fallacy because not one person thinks/acts like another person. This would make you racist because you would have no reason to be unattracted to ALL African American women besides that they all identify as a particular race. This is because race is a social construct and not homogenous like biological sex

[DeltaDanner]

But what if you plain and simple aren't attracted? You have no explanation other than that, and that's all it is. Not wanting to date someone doesn't make you a racist. Being racist is hating or mistreating others because of their race. Not being attracted is not a racist or hate filled thing. And of coarse you don't know ALL of them (which ever race, gender, sexuality etc.) so you can't say for certain. But you cannot base the idea that someone has a fear or hatred on the fact of wanting to date or not. Picture a sweet, nice person who you like. You do not love them, nor do you want to date them. That would not automatically mean you hate them would it?

[Asker]

What I'm saying is, what is it that would make you unattracted to a black person besides the fact that they identify with that race? Because depending on what you say, it is either the fact that you are misclassifying your dating preferences (dark skinned doesn't equal black--most black people in America are not very dark skinned and many are quite pale. At any rate, what's unattractive about dark skin anyway?) or it is the case that you hold a racist belief (i. e. will not date a black person solely because that is how they identify, in which case you believe that your own race is superior and consequently do not feel the other race good enough for you to give your time to--this is a form of hate).

The former is not racist, nor is it supremely evil but it does pose the question what made you feel that way when beauty in and of itself is a social construct. Do you see what I mean? I'm curious about the motive for the action, not the actual action.

[DarkHumorRUs]

If you have NEVER found a black person attractive in your life, then you can say you aren't attracted to black people. What's hard to understand about that. It's not that you're unattracted to them BECAUSE they're black, you just never found someone who HAPPENED to be black attractive.

[Asker]

You didn't say that in the first place though. And not seeing it in your short 17 years is not the same as not being attracted to it at all. In that case, you are misclassifying your preferences. I'm not sure why you decided to take the low route and be rude about it when this is just civil discussion concerning a very important issue.

Also, it's about the fact that people you been attracted to before could've been black and you just didn't know it (it is not something you can see all the time) so making the claim that you're not attracted to black people at all would make most people see you as a person holding racist beliefs (considering there would still be no logical basis for it.) It's also really hard to believe as well. I'm not trying to be combative I am telling you something that, as a child, I didn't expect you to know anyway. You really don't have to be rude

[DeltaDanner]

See, @DarkHumorRUs understands. Just because you don't find a specific group attractive doesn't mean you hate that group. Going back to the ORIGINAL question, just because your friend won't date a trans does not mean he hates them. You can have preferences without hating the other options. If given the choice over Mint Chip ice cream and plain vanilla I would choose mint. I don't HATE vanilla, I don't think vanilla is the worst flavor, or it should stop being made, I just prefer a different if cream.
I used the race thing as an example, but as you can tell with my new example, it could be anything. If you only drive trucks it doesn't make you hate cars. if you only date one gender it doesn't mean you hate the others. If you only date one race it does not mean you hate the other. Just because your friend won't date a transgender does not mean he HAS to hate them

[DarkHumorRUs]

I think I've seen enough black girls to have a statistically significant opinion on whether I'm attracted to them or not.

[Asker]

I said nothing about hate though. You don't have to hate a racial group to be racist... Racism is an entirely different subject though so I'm not going to get into that.

And in your life the probability of you 'having seen enough black women to have a statistically significant opinion on them' is very low. There are over 500 million black women on the planet and you've most likely only seen about 100,000 or less in your lifetime. The thought that your opinion is somehow valid because of your false sense of experience is absurd. Race is not homogenous like skin color. There are literally black women who resemble your average white woman. That is my point. How can you not see that you making such a statement (which, you're right, doesn't mean you hate black women) means you think they are ALL unattractive (certainly not true) which breeds the notion that you're somehow 'superior' to them and, because of this, won't date them; is what racism is?

[DeltaDanner]

Well first of all I wasn't the one who said the "I have seen enough black women..." quote, that was the other guy. Secondly, you said you wouldn't go into racism and that's how you ended your last thought. Also, you say I have a lack of experience, which I admitted to, and never did I say that all black women are unattractive. I did say that I personally don't fine many attractive. I also said I dont know ALL of them. But the fact remains I haven't ever really found a black woman"attractive" in MY life time. Why would it matter our "experience" when it adds up to statistics. It is just personal preference, which I'm sure you have as well. Your friends personal preference does not include trans. This, again, does NOT mean he hates transgendered people.
Finally, you claimed you were never being "combative", but you were causing me of racism multiple times and questioned the fact that I'm not MULTIPLE times. Being accused of racism I very combative, especially if untrue

[Asker]

I'm sorry about that I'm kind of talking to both of you at once. I meant I wouldn't go into histories and things like that. I don't think I directed that comment towards you--I was talking to the person who made the claim that black women were unattractive because they think they've seen enough of them to say that. Again, I didn't realize at first that he had even commented. I am not accusing you of being a racist personally just that the comment "I do not find black women attractive" is not a preference, it's a prejudice because, again, all black women are different. I am not trying to be combative but if it is coming off that way that's just how it's being received--not the intention. Lastly, I don't personally think it's wrong to say I wouldn't date a trans person because that's more homogenous as I could see why a straight man wouldn't be attracted to a person with a penis. I think what's happening here is misinterpretation, misdirection, and confusion.

[DeltaDanner]

I can understand the misdirection. Thank you for being respectful in your reply. I am not trying to come off as spiteful or anything, I have just been accused of racism before simply because of myself race. Racism is a touchy subject for me for that reason. There have been many times where I have done something as simple as choosing a white friend (whom I've known longer) over a black friend in a game and was accused of racism. If we could go back to the original topic. I do not think finding someone unattractive means you hate them or their race, gender, sexuality, etc.

[Asker]

No problem. I never meant for it to go in this direction as race is a touchy subject for me as well. I'm sorry you've been unjustly accused of being a racist and I do apologize if it came off that way. I don't appreciate it when people make sweeping generalizations about any heterogenous group (not something you did but in general) because I've seen how it can adversely affect members of said group. And thank you for your reply.

[Anonymous]

The asker doesn’t want anyone to hv any preference tbh. Cos ion wanna date a race doesn’t mean I’m racist. Ig in today’s society u can’t hv a choice. Cos I wanna date a rave doesn’t mean I’ll date anyone in that race too. Stop getting mad because people don’t agree with ur dumb opinion. YOU need to google the word racist and stop askin people too cos ion think u did. Don’t forget preference is something personal. I don’t think a race is unattractive I’m just not attracted to them. You’re just tryna guilt trip people to think cos they do wanna date a race then they must think the race is unattractive. It’s not like everyone is not attracted to a specific race. Just learn that people hv opinions and ur opinions isn’t superior simple

[Anonymous]

No. I see where the argument is coming from. I see how a trans woman/man would see the situation as transphobic, but that is a very narrow minded, one sided argument. In saying that it is transphobic to not want to date a trans person because they’re trans, it is also saying that everyone should be attracted to trans people and should be into that type of stuff. As a traditional straight male myself, I would not date a trans person. That doesn’t mean I have any sort of hatred towards trans people. And falsely shaming me until I agree with you will not work. Don’t force your lifestyle into me. Keep it to yourself and other people who have a similar lifestyle, just as I do.

[mr90skid]

Sounds like she made that fuckery up off the top of her head.
Average looking people are gonna start losing bad because these doctors are getting too good...

[NedfromtheNed]

No i wouldn't. But im not gay, and im also a radical conservative.

[LauraMarx]

a radical conservative!

[NedfromtheNed]

Not sure what you meant by that comment?

[GirlScoutsRevenge]

No more than I'm womanphobic because I don't want to date women.

Stupid statement.

[AshleyMD]

No of course not that's like saying someone's sexist because they don't want to date a guy/girl if they're straight.

[Prof_Don]

... guess my dating preferences are transphobic. So what? 🤭

[Watermelonoma]

is it racist to not be attracted to a particular racial group?

[Asker]

Yes it is. I'm really tired of explaining this multiple times over. Google the word racism and apply it to the idea that someone can only be attracted to a particular race. It's just like saying "Well I prefer to employ whites over any other race" Do you see why that's a racist comment? You may not be a racist for saying it but it is a racist comment

[Watermelonoma]

its personal preference

[Asker]

Okay so what makes you prefer one race over others? Is it because the race you prefer is overall, more beautiful and therefore better than the others? I'm curious.

[Watermelonoma]

i date people from all races... but there are many people, many black girls actually, who don't date black men period. They have a preference for white guys. So, are these black girls racist against themselves?

[Asker]

What? If someone doesn't want to date a particular race then that person holds a racist belief. Your question makes no sense because at first you say they won't date black men then say that the women themselves are racist against other black women with out giving any sort of context. I am genuinely confused

[Watermelonoma]

you're confused because you are reading things that i never said. I have yet to call anyone racist for anything. What i said was rather simple, but ill say it again:

People have a right to date who they want. If they aren't attracted to black people, it doesn't mean that they are racist. People have different tastes, and you need to accept that.

[Asker]

You said "many black girls actually, who don't date black men period. So, are these black girls racist against themselves?" Do you not see why that is confusing? And I'm not "under" anything to have to get "over" it. I don't care what people do just don't call it a preference when it's racism.

I'll repeat what I'm saying as well because you seem to not understand that it doesn't personally affect me just that it's wrong and you should recognize when you're wrong
Saying every other race is unattractive therefore you will only be with one particular race is racist because race isn't homogenous. Google the word homogenous. Google human origins. Google phenotypical variation within "races". Google social construct. Then, lastly, Google racism definition. That should provide you with enough research material to understand why saying "I'm not attracted to certain features" is not the same as saying "I'm not attracted to an entire group of people"

[Watermelonoma]

I've said what i needed to say. Not going to go on for days repeating myself. You see it as racism, and I do not. Lets leave it at that

[hhhhhhhhhbhhhhhh]

rac·ism
/ˈrāˌsizəm/
Learn to pronounce
noun
prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism directed against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalized.

I can be not sexually attracted to a certain race but that doesn’t mean I hate them. I don’t see how people don’t get this.

[Jjdub7]

Bodies are not public accommodations. Disgusting and dehumanizing to frame sexuality in terms of social bias. Seek help, touch grass.

[CreepyOldMan]

A trans person.

Lol!!! :-p

https://youtu.be/cvetffjTL3c

[LauraMarx]

whats the joke

[abundantlyrich]

No. They are emotionally complex people and i can't see them being attracted to me and vice versa.

[Chris011]

Uhm, I wouldn't date one either. It'll be too weird.

[Dandeus]

Is it homophobic to not want to date someone of your own sex?

[Dandeus]

And that's an implied answer through a rhetorical question.

No, it's not transphobic.

You and I are not entitled to another person's love and sexuality, and their reasons for giving or withholding are theirs alone.

Being a transperson doesn't give one an exception to this rule.

[Anonymous]

no it's not transphobic to not want to date a trans person but I would never date a trans person that would just creep me and make me feel unconfertable

[WhaChaChaKing]

I don't know maybe it is but I still wouldn't date one.

[Anonymous]

I will never date a transgender, and if I find my girlfriend is a transgender (thanks God she is not), I will break up immediately.

[Anonymous]

Not at all. I've only dated white women, does that make me racist and sexist?

[Asker]

Well I don't want to have the race conversation again but clearly it's not sexist. Sexuality is innate so that would make no sense. Gender identity is really complex though and not as straightforward as something like race where clearly saying you're only attracted to one race is, in fact, racist.

[Opinion Owner]

No it's not, it's your personal preference. Nice try though

[Asker]

Yes it is. nice try though

[Asker]

To say "I wouldn't have a relationship with anyone of ___ race" is blatantly racist because what reason would you have for saying that other than the fact that you don't think said race is good enough? You can't say "well I just don't find them attractive" because it implies EVERY person of that race looks alike/acts alike/has at least one facial or personality trait in common which is 100% false. All people of one race don't look the same because race isn't genetic. There isn't a gene that says "all 'black' people have dark skin and full lips and act like ___" or "all white people have blonde hair and no lips at all and act like assholes". So what would be the reason for you to not find every member of said race attractive besides the fact that for some reason, you inherently find other races superior to them (which is what racism is)?

[Opinion Owner]

lolwut. You're mental.

Being physically attracted to certain races and not others isn't racist. Hating them or physically harming them is.

[Asker]

Way to show your intellect by referring to some as 'mental' I'm not saying being attracted to certain races is racist I'm saying implying that they're the only attractive race IS racist. Do you even know what racism is? It involves prejudice and believing you're superior to others. When you say "I won't date ____" you're being prejudiced and you're implying that they're all unattractive simply because they are said race. You need to do some serious research and thinking before you call someone out of their name for stating facts just because you don't want to look like a racist asshole

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not saying white people are superior to non-white people. I'm just saying that I'm attracted to white women. You sound very bitter.

If someone else only finds black women attractive, good for them.

[Asker]

I'm not bitter at all. We tend to interpret things to sound the way we feel. You interpreted my comment as being bitter.. how do you feel?

Why else would someone say "I will only date white women"? Because there are women of all races who look and act similar even though they belong to different racial groups (black women with light skin and blonde hair; Asian women with blue eyes, etc.) I'm sure there are women of all races you would find attractive (even though you may not have met them yet). Therefore, by process of elimination, saying one race is more worthy of your attention in the dating world is implying that you think said race better than the others which is a racist belief. Saying "I don't date non-white women" is equivalent to saying "even though there are attractive people in all races, I won't date non-white women simply because they're not good enough"

[LilWeezey]

Its not that they aren't good enough. They just aren't attractive.
I've only dated white guys.
Its not that a colored guy isn't good enough. I just dont find many attractive. Plus i live in a place where its mostly white guys. I'm sure if i moved to a more diverse area [and was single] id date outside white.

I said C because it does depend. If he thinks trans are gross its transphobic. But if he's simply not attracted to trans its ok.

Same with the race thing you feel strongly about. If i said i dont date colored men because they are gross. It's racist. But there's plenty men of color i find attractive but unfortunately most of thier personalities suck

[Asker]

Your post confused the hell out of me lol. You must not be American because the term 'colored' is not a nice word to use. Are you saying non-white men, on the whole, aren't attractive or that some are? Because at first you said they aren't then you said they are?

Then you generalized every other race of men besides white because you've had some bad experiences. What you said is like a non-white person saying every white person is ____ because they've only dealt with bad white people. Do you see the point there? It's not good to generalize. I just want to make sure this is being understood because it doesn't seem like it is..

[Opinion Owner]

"Because there are women of all races who look and act similar even though they belong to different racial groups (black women with light skin and blonde hair; Asian women with blue eyes, etc.)"

No, there aren't. Even assuming it was only the blue eyes and blonde hair I was attracted to, there are nearly 0 Asians/blacks with natural blue eyes or blonde hair.

And anyway, it's the entire package (color, facial features, body, etc) that I'm attracted to. So no, there isn't a non-white girl who I'd be attracted to that way.

I'm attracted to white girls, and that's my personal preference. White girls aren't objectively more attractive, they're just more attractive to me. If you're offended by that, you need to get a life.

[Asker]

Yes there are. I know this for a fact because I have black friends who are either very fair skinned and one who is albino (blonde everything and hazel eyes). I know an Asian girl with naturally green eyes. Who are you to say out of 8 billion people there are 0 people like this who exist when there is even research explaining that this is possible because race isn't genetic. There are no "white traits" because anyone of any race can have any trait. There are traits more common in white people because most white people descend from colder environments but we're literally all the same besides genetic mutations due to climate that make you appear differently. All homo sapien sapiens migrated from Africa into different climates but we're 99.9% the same besides the genes that determine sex, hair color, eye color, etc. which vary only because of adaptation.

Your comment was very ignorant. I'm not offended at all I'm explaining to you why you're racist.

[Asker]

Did you take 8th grade biology? Intro to Anthropology in college? You should know these things. Also, you have a racist belief because you won't date any other race of women for no reason besides the fact that they aren't white and you don't see them as good enough. It has nothing to do with attraction to physical traits because you can find anything in any 'race'. You're really upset over someone calling you out for something you claim you aren't..

[Maileonna]

It's not racist to not be attracted to a particular race. Just because you don't what to date or have sex with an African or Caucasian doesn't mean you think your better than them. It's called a preference..

[Anonymous]

It's just gay. He shouldn't be afraid.

[MichelleUFO]

personal preference

[Anonymous]

Very close minded! Unbelievable!

[tenofthepeaks]

no, it's not.