Did you know trans people do NOT want to date transphobic people?

[Anonymous]

This is a very difficult concept for some people to understand. Trans people want to date someone who likes them, not someone who hates them. Just like everyone wants to date someone who likes them, not someone who hates them. So if you don't want to date a trans person, guess what? That means they don't want to date you either. It's very simple.

[Anonymous]

Not wanting to date a trans doesn’t mean somebody is transphobic.

You can change your outwards appearance but you can’t change your biological sex.
Most people in the world are heterosexual.

Even after surgery a trans person genitalia wouldn’t be the same as a person born with a certain genitalia.

Some but not all trans people are a bit delusional. I have seen videos online of trans women claiming to get periods. This cannot be true. To have periods you have to have ovaries. Even after bottom surgery trans women don’t have ovaries.

[Asker]

Okay... did you know trans people do NOT want to date people who do not want to date trans people? They want to date someone who also wants to date them, just like everybody wants to date someone who also wants to date them. So if you don't want to date a trans person, guess what? That means they don't want to date you either.

[Opinion Owner]

Well anyone whether trans or not trans shouldn’t date somebody who doesn’t want or care about them

[Asker]

Exactly! It's very simple. Nobody wants to date somebody who doesn't like them.

[Anonymous]

Did you know every sixty seconds in Africa, a minute passes?

[Asker]

I did, yes! :)

[riverrat3]

How profound

[Anonymous]

Yes I did know that. Best to say that you have no chemistry or are not looking to date. I have dated a pre-op trans male before surgery. Very pretty, muscular, nice tits. I think she was like doing research on what it's like to be a man. I was going to even f*ck her until she whipped her tits out. A tragedy that those beautiful tits were butchered.

[Asker]

Sorry the wording is confusing. You dated a trans man who told you he was trans by showing you his boobs? That's quite strange. Trans men usually don't show their boobs even after they tell you they're trans. But everybody's different, after all

[Opinion Owner]

When I dated her she was a biological woman who basically dressed as a man and identified as gender fluid, gender neutral or non binary she didn't seem set on one. Its not that strange, she was technically a lesbian, I've dated lesbians as well. It was very casual dating, it was more like hanging out, having sex, going to movies and dinner. Seems to be the case with a lot of lesbians and trans people that they wany to try to live the hetero life or see what it's like b4 deciding its not for them, many going on to get married and have kids b4 realising they are gay or trans of whatever.

[Asker]

Oh okay, so they weren't a man or a woman. That makes more sense.
And yes, as a result of such poor education about lgbt+ people and often hostile home environments, most have no understanding of that part of themself and don't understand why they don't enjoy a "traditional" life in the same way others do, until they figure it out for themselves. Which for some can happen very early, and others may live their whole life confused.

[Opinion Owner]

No they were definitely a woman

[Asker]

But you said they were not a trans man or a trans woman, but instead trans non-binary, gender neutral, or gender fluid. Sorry I'm having a hard time understanding you. I assume you don't mean they were assigned non-binary at birth and were transitioning to a woman?

[Opinion Owner]

The were biological women, they nidentified as non-biological male.

[Asker]

Do you mean they were trans masculine non-binary? Biological and non-biological aren't gender identities. And if they weren't a binary trans man but, as you said, something more fluid or neutral while still leaning towards man, im pretty sure thats called masculine non-binary.

[Opinion Owner]

Oh just by what she identified as.

[Asker]

Huh?

[boggboss]

I wpuld agree with this but then why is their so much pushback on the concept of identifying that someone is trans when dating with many saying g u shouldn't have to tell someone

[Asker]

You shouldn't have to tell someone anything. That you're trans, or that you're transphobic. It only takes one person being up front for the other person to know they're not compatible. If you're worried, just make it clear to whoever you date that you're transphobic. Then if they're trans or a decent human they will not want to date you. The issue with telling someone your trans, why not everyone does that right away, is probably something to do with the fact that in most states you can still use the "gay panic" defense to get away with assaulting someone when you find out they're lgbt+. Its.. kind of dangerous to tell a stranger you're trans. Especially when you don't know if they're transphobic or not. It's not really dangerous to tell a stranger you're transphobic though. And if someone attacks you, they can't defend themselves in court by saying they panicked because they found out you're transphobic.

[Asker]

(I used "you" in a general sense here by the way, you could be totally fine I didn't mean to suggest you're transphobic just for asking that question, sorry)

[boggboss]

But thats the thing if a person would beat someone up for being told they are trans beforehand they are equally likely to do the same thing when they find out if not worst because they would also feel tricked into it I personly wouldn't date a teans women but don't think they should be hit for being trans and believe they deserve to be lived by someone who is accepting of them

[boggboss]

Not sure if that would make me teansphobic by your definition

[Asker]

Exactly, so that's why there's no point telling them right away vs telling them later on, except the chance that you'll find out that they're transphobic later, and then you don't tell them at all you just leave. So it's safer to wait a little before telling them, even if you may not find out if they're transohobic or not before you tell them, you might. That's why some trans people wait to tell people they date.

[boggboss]

Fair enough