What should I do if my friends with benefits doesn’t want to be my girlfriend but doesn’t want me having sex with other guys?

[Anonymous]

We have been seeing each other for a year and doesn’t want to be more then friends with benefits but treats me like a girlfriend but doesn’t want me having sex with other guys. What should I do about this? I like him a lot he’s a good person I don’t want to lose him but I don’t know if this is healthy. We had the relationship talk but he doesn’t want to take me out places or be my girlfriend. He just wants to have sex with me but doesn’t want me seeing other guys. What should I do?

[Hagar88]

Its simple. He likes you, he likes having sex with you but doesn't see a future long term with you ever.

Seen this so many times with women in friends with benefits relationships, they end up devastated when they guy ends it with them to get serious with a woman who is better than them.

[slatyb]

You should make a choice. If you decide to keep seeing her, then don't see other guys. Or tell her that it won't work for you, and see whoever you want. What you should not do is lie to her.

[Asker]

You meant him? Lol he’s a guy

[slatyb]

I see that now, but the answer is the same.

[HollyK21]

Obviously walk away. What you’re doing is confusing “nice” guy with “good” guy, and it’s so important to know the difference between the two, otherwise you get caught up in situations like this. This isn’t a good guy, he’s a user who’s learned what sort of woman he’s dealing with and knows what he needs to say to keep you in line. Stop letting noncommittal men treat you like a girlfriend with zero solid reasons as to not give you a real title. I’m sure if someone you loved were telling you they were in this position you’d not advise them to stay in it, so why not give yourself the same care?

[DishLady]

Set the boundary and move on. It's not YOUR problem that she doesn't want to hold on to you. You deserve someone who will take your desire for a relationship seriously.

[RespectfulGuy]

OMG dear, you're in a friends with benefits with him. This means there's no legal binding, not even social. By virtual it's friends with benefits, if one of you wants more, and the other doesn't, it just break. Nothing hanky panky.

And please, a "good" or "nice" guy won't manipulate, especially the way you describe. He's holding you hostage with fear and emotional guilt.

Ya, sex is good. But there's a lot more to a relationship than sex, if a committed relationship is what you want.

No, you need not call 911 or ask GaG. You just need to trust your heart and walk. Forsake the best sex but worst mental emotional torture. Yes, just walk. And then block him on all medias. And don't look back, and never see him again. When he goes to you home, don't open the door and don't respond. You'll be a free person again after he moves on too.

Feel for you. You deserve much better.

[Anonymous]

That's REAL SIMPLE. And I think you already KNOW the answer to this question. You just don't want to face it. Because you don't want to potentially lose him. But let me make 5his real simple for you. YOU DON'T HAVE HIM. And that's not your failing. But it IS you reality. You need to say, "I value you, but I deserve more". "And if you don't want to take that next step then I guess we're done".

You should NEVER have slept with him before he made a commitment to you in the first place. But that ship has sailed. Just try to remember that for the future. Only good men will respect you. And only men will respect women that respect t themselves first.

[sawno]

Simple, you tell him exactly what's on the table.
He can have you exclusively as his girlfriend, or he can't have exclusivity if you find that unfair. At minimum i'd make him be exclusive as well, that's healthier for your sexual health and would put you on equal terms at least.

[RavVid]

I think it is difficult to convert friends with benefits to a monogamous relationship. Probably you both had initially a no strings attached deal so, by accepting that you, both of you could get off with other people. Fairly anti monogamous at the get go and so neither of you can much trust in each other.

You are both reliably getting sex so one of the key motivations for relationship formation has been eliminated.

You could terminate.

[Anonymous]

The #1 rule of friends with benefits is only your time together for sex counts. Everything outside of that is your own business. Usually that means the guy is going to fuck whoever he wants, but sometimes we're with someone else too.

[Pterodon]

Just that your pussy is for his dick only and that he can fuck others but you can’t

[Anonymous]

Do you want to have sex with him but not other guys?

[Asker]

Because he is the best out of all of them. And what should I do about this?

[Opinion Owner]

Is he sleeping with other girls?

[Asker]

I don’t know

[Opinion Owner]

Well. Sounds like you need to establish some rules or something. If you aren’t allowed to have sex with anyone else but he is… that’s a pretty lousy deal for you

[Anonymous]

Put your foot down.

[Anonymous]

If that’s not what you want then you dump him.

[Staximus]

He doesn't want to be your girlfriend?

[Staximus]

He's a guy, he can't be your girlfriend