Why is it so normalized for men to lust after many women instead of fully loving one?

Question

4ngelic · Accepted Answer

because of biology sadly. there's two modes of human 'mating' behavior, no strings attached sex and longer term monogamy (longer term is usually only a couple of years though biologically not a lifetime). men highly benefit from both mating behaviors, while women don't benefit that much from the casual sex strategy (in most circumstances) and benefit highly from long term partnerships.

men can technically impregnate many many women in one year and create many children, while a woman can only have one child in that time. women who engage in casual sex also tend to do it with multiple men so it creates paternity uncertainty which means the man doesn't need to provide much if any, resources and protection to the baby and the mom. if he does this multiple times, he's guaranteed to have a baby. if he does this a lot, he'll have multiple children around free of charge. in our society it can be a bit different, but that's the evolutionary biology. Men get into long term monogamy when they want to have their 'real' children who they will spend extensive time, energy, ressources, etc on and risk their life for. it has a bit of a different motive than casual sex.

women who have children alone, in prehistory, would have struggled a lot more in protecting and raising the babies, especially into healthy adults with a higher social status. the mortality rate and miscarriage was higher. while if they have a child in a commited relationship, it increases signifiantly the chances of survival for their child, healthier developement, and increased their future social status.

So basically that's why men are much more likely to want to sleep around than women on average. that's why that idea is in most human cultures.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

A man with many partners is often labelled a "player" or "stud," whereas women face derogatory labels for the same behaviour.

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Is it? I mean it most likely is a belief but completely wrong and when you think about it , it’s easy to understand

Men are stereotyped as visual and sexual , men are badly socialized around emotions being taught to show desire rather than emotions. For those reasons and more are likely why men get that label of lusting insatiable animals.

However the reality is men fall in love just as often as women and most times faster than women. Men experience attachment, heartbreak , grief and devotion very deeply and after breakups men are more likely to suffer long term emotional fall out even if mostly thy suffer in silence.

Finally , love and lust are not opposites even though both men and women commonly confuse them

At the core of it though there is a harsh truth…regardless of gender , some aren’t capable of real intimacy and so mistake , attention and sex or fantasy for love

When a man loves , it’s a steady , consistent and loyal. Should anyone not agree it’s likely due to bad experiences with immature boys that are focused on being loud , seen and getting sexual attention.

Keyboardkat · Accepted Answer

"Hogamus, higamus, men are polygamus. Higamus, hogamus, women monogamous!" This goes way back. Men's brains and women's brains are WIRED DIFFERENTLY! Remember that a woman produces only one egg cell per month during her child-bearing years. She naturally would be very careful about what, and with whom, she does with them! While a man produces hundreds of thousands of sperm cells every week! The human male was specifically designed to roam the earth impregnating as many females as possible.
But we are more than just biological machines! Humans have brains and are supposed to use them! And therefore, humans have developed standards of behavior, manners, social rules that are supposed to govern our sexual behavior as well as other things.

Stevepro68 · Answer

Why does one exclude the other. my girlfriend is bisexual and will often point out attractive women to me. There is no one in this world that could pull me away from her. She is the perfect mix of intelligent funny, she is more beautiful to me now than when I met her. There is no one that I would take over her sexually she is amazing. As beautiful as someone might be. Age and experience teaches you sexy and beautiful may catch your eye, but even the most beautiful women can be tiring. So I find them attractive but I don't want them I only want her.

HighValue · Answer

It is liberal propaganda spread by the media, Hollywood, etc. because it helps them destroy the family unit. They know that most women are not intelligent and fall for the same lies over and over. When over 80% of men are not like that, many women still are convinced that they are like that, even when statistics prove it is the other way around, women cheat FAR more than men, women end marriages FAR more than men, women ruin their families FAR more than men. If people were honest, they would admit that it is majority women that are the problem with most relationships, families, workplaces, etc.

Anonymous · Answer

Cultural norms often equate masculinity with sexual prowess and conquest. A man with many partners is sometimes seen as a "real man," while a man who struggles sexually may feel emasculated.

Society has historically been more lenient toward male promiscuity while punishing female promiscuity, fostering a culture where men feel entitled to, or justified in, chasing multiple women.

it does not mean that all men behave this way or that this behavior is inherently "natural" or "acceptable" in modern, committed relationships. Many argue that self-control and maturity allow men to manage these urges without acting on them.

Zack-Bann · Answer

The reason is because when a man doesn’t have a sexual past he’s a virgin who doesn’t know the first thing about pleasing a woman

Most women will be turned off by that

Yet they get the hots for guys who’ve been with tons of girls because they are hot commodity and a well desired product

Not saying it’s good or healthy
But that’s why it’s so common and normalized

MrChinaski · Answer

It's basic biology. Men can impregnate a different woman every day and two on Tuesdays for 40 years, while never breaking stride to support a single offspring. Women can have one child a year for maybe 25 years so each offspring is an investment. We try to resist the urge to beat our chests and peacock in Kiton suits to demonstrate the abundance of resources we have available for child support because we think women will like that, but deep down we are still poorly shaved monkeys.

RHK36 · Answer

It's partly coded in our DNA to want to impregnate women. Mostly women nowadays are mostly insufferable from the rise of feminism that created a bigger divide between the two genders. Most women nowadays aren't looking for realistic partners and the ones they "settle" with they end up treating them poorly like the men they complain about. Women date up and across. Men date down and across. If women claim they can't find a faithful man it's most likely your choice in men.

Anonymous · Answer

Truthfully. Because that is the bait that most women today put out. Most women try to get a man's attention by showing body parts. 🤦‍♂️we'll duh, what did you think that was going to attract. Then it becomes a contests between women of who'll show the most skin. So the one who ends up winning. Actually loses with the trash they end up with.

Want better men, use better tactics. Are you going to be at a disadvantage? Yes. Much like good men are almost always at a disadvantage. But nobody ever said something worthwhile was ever easy, or quick.

fonduegirl · Answer

This forum has mostly misogynistic men around. Just a head's up

slatyb · Answer

this is instinctual. A bull mounting a cow will tire, but if a new cow is introduced the bull is ready to go again.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Got me!! I'm perfectly happy with just one!!

Berethor · Answer

You google for the Noble Male, Roguish Male Trope, it would explain you the situation.

LiamS95 · Answer

If the guy is normal and a decent guy he will only lust after more then one woman until he'd found the right one to be in a commited relstiondhip with.

Anonymous · Answer

Biologically they are supposed to impregnate as many women as possible, which they did in the caveman days.

888theGreat · Answer

Because God created men to reproduce and women to attract men.

Anonymous · Answer

The short answer is evolution and how society has been shaped.

RayanSterling · Answer

Cos this is our nature. Yeah, women don't like it but it is what it is 🤷‍♂️ You can't compare who got balls to who got a pussy 🤷‍♂️

clubboss · Answer

Who says loving one is not possible along with lusting after others.

Zionne · Answer

their brain is full of shit

DishLady · Answer

It's not.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Do we now? I wasn’t aware of that. 🙄

sage2021 · Answer

Probably because men are very visual.

Vegasrunner · Answer

Its just common sense

dudeinohio · Answer

That is not normal. I'm centered on one woman.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

We lads want as much p***y as possible !!!

Why is it so normalized for men to lust after many women instead of fully loving one?

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