If your girlfriend starts getting aggressive and physical with you! What's the correct way to address this situation?

[Anonymous]

[Hardon-Collider]

It's not a "situation" to "address" like accidentally stepping on bird poop. More like a whole shift in reality. ㅤ

[ShellyB]

I do not know what you should do because I know it can turn into he said she said and it is hard to say what would happen if it turned into a legal situation. I will say that these situations can get complicated. OK this is going to make me sound bad but keep in mind it is from a long time ago. When I was 19 I was in a new relationship that was super different from what I had experienced before, and my then boyfriend was making remarks about how hot some other girl was, in front of me his friend and his friend’s girlfriend, we had all been drinking, I yelled and he didn’t stop so I hit at him with my phone, he picked me up and put me over his shoulder and spanked me, hard, I apologized and cried (his friend laughed the girlfriend said something like “stop, I think she learned her lesson"). If you think this sounds like a horrible relationship you are right, but two other things, I don’t think I was totally unjustified in what I did, but, what happened did affect my behavior, I never did anything like that with him again, we were together for another year and he continued to treat me like a joke and I took it, that relationship is one of my biggest regrets in life actually. I don’t know what my point is I guess just, it might not be just one action in isolation.

[Asker]

Did you hit him hard?

[ShellyB]

Yes kind of hard, he wasn’t actually injured, but it probably hurt.

[Asker]

Yeah but still he didn't have to do that !! That was like humiliating you in front of others

[ShellyB]

I agree it was all too much, my behavior was not perfect but it started with him talking about another girl being hot (which was also humiliating) so I feel like it was mutual misbehavior but only I got punished and had to apologize. There were so many things about that relationship that I can’t believe I ever entered it or stayed in it but I couldn’t see it at the time.

[MontBlanc]

Aggression isn’t acceptable no matter who it comes from.

If she gets physical, create space immediately. Don’t escalate. Prioritize safety.

When calm, address it clearly: physical aggression is a boundary, not a “bad day.”

If it’s a pattern, you don’t manage it, you leave. Love should never involve intimidation.

[Master_Debator]

If I so much as catch a hint that anyone wants to get physical I remove myself from the situation. Relationship has just ended along with communication.

Why? I'm considered a leathal weapon. I don't need the prison time, because I disfigure people's faces, break their arms and legs and then shit right in their mouth... stright out of my anus.

Nobody wants to see me spread my hairy cheeks and squeeze out a tootsie roll right into someone's mouth... well... maybe some of you freaks on the internet do, but the law doesn't.

[Chazmatazz269]

Call the police and escape. Never look back. Abuse ALWAYS escalates.

[Asker]

But before that, like to push her away from you or something like that?

[Chazmatazz269]

You have to try to escape without any physical contact. The vast majority of jurisdictions still believe that men are always abusive and women are always victims. Record everything possible on your phone and keep the police on the line while you try to escape.

[RavVid]

One did and started throwing punches because I took a piece of an Easter bunny I had bought over. I just swatted her punches aside but she claimed I had bruised her wrist by doing that and she called the police. Fortunately they got the idea she was a CB and it didn't go further than that.

If they can claim you have hurt them they will.

If you aren't sharing the same address leave immediately - for good. Trying to restrain her till she calms down is a bad idea. If you are sharing the same address going for a drive is probably the best course.

Even deflecting her punches can get you in trouble. We have CAT teams for mentally unwell people. I'd also be inclined to call them on the basis she might self-harm but also to document she is having a CB fit.

[Anonymous]

First off, let's be clear. She deserves a punch in the face. However, you should not give her what she deserves. You would probably end up in prison for some sort of assault for that.

The best course of action is to leave and let the feelings of isolation and loneliness creep up on her. Don't go back to her through. Even if she never physically attacks again, your return establishes that she can get away with being agressive, so you can only expect a miserable time of escalating arguments.

It's possible to change, but not reasonable to bank your life on her recognizing her flaws and making serious progress in solving them.

[Zack-Bann]

If I get to a point in my life where a woman can overpower me thet mean’s I need to get back in the gym.


I wouldn’t hit her back but I would definitely immobilize her and de escalate the situation before asking her to leave / leave myself because I wouldn’t want to associate with a violent person, man or woman

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Just let her hit you and as the punches bounce off, remind her that only someone with a power level at least twice what she possesses can defeat you.

Also dont grab her, especially the wrists. Get away from her, get to where there's witnesses. Take a few scratches until you know you can prove self defense

[dragoblack]

One thing i was always taught by my mother "if she can hit like a man, she better be ready to take it like one. Don't let women think the can get away with it, just because you're a guy" personally i go for the bear-hug, but it doesn't mean i won't judo throw her on her ass or redirect the force of her punch to where she hurts herself. Look for the footing and shoulder movement, step on the foot as she throws her punch, let her stumble

[Asker]

Have you done it before?

[dragoblack]

Yep. She was drunk and the bartender wanted help to detain her until the cops arrived

[Asker]

You didn't get in trouble for holding her?

[dragoblack]

Dude, she was being belligerent & violent. Civil detainment of criminal activity is legal, as long as you cause no harm. I wasn't the only one, because she was tying to fight some other dunk women. Multiple of us guy's detained them until the police arrived.

[Asker]

Oh yeah the problem its in case there's nobody around to witness and I didn't if to push her or grab her hands

[dragoblack]

Yeah, i don't put myself in that kind of situations.

[aceleon]

she can't, i would just grip her from her neck and slam her to the wall, lift her up until her feets are off the ground and wait for her to cut the nonsense.

i'm not about to let anyone walk over me because they are born without a dick.

[Chloe432]

Restrain her, push her away, and/or get away from her as soon as you can. Try not to actually hit her back or do anything that could cause serious damage because if the police need to get involved it won't look good for you

[cherrytreeblossom]

hay maker in the baby maker

initiating violence is bad, so they should expect the same back, or even worse

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You know what the correct way is, you feel it.

And if you don't, it sounds like really bad news for her, and in the end, for you too.

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, Full Nelson or a choke hold until she submits and stops fighting. Then bye bye. For good. Block her. Don't look back.

[Nikki1989]

Do not retaliate. Act like an adult.

[Asker]

Would aight push be considered retaliation? Just to get her away from me

[molonski2]

Get outta there and never , ever come back , mentally ill..

[Asker]

So trying to defend myself a bit it's out of the question

[molonski2]

Yep 100 % will do Zero.. sorry she is a nutcase

[HighValue]

If the woman hits first, it is okay for the man to punch her back as hard as he can, even if it kills her.

[Miristheiss]

Dump her.

Get your phone out and record and leave her wherever she is. If she lies or trashes you show the video.

Go no contact.

[slatyb]

Can you be more specific? What happened to prompt this behavior?

[Asker]

Got upset and started pushing and scratching, and little swing which actually started to piss me off

[slatyb]

What was she upset about? This sounds like a deal-breaker.

[Asker]

Just a misunderstanding nothing too serious but she made the situation worse

[KrisKris81]

If you know it's being recorded and can, definitively, prove she was the aggressor then citizen's arrest is legal. Use reasonable force and call the police.

[Snowman84]

Don’t hit her, even if she deserves it or even asks for it. Leave her crazy ass and find a woman who has an appropriate level of maturity.

[MikeMcMansion]

Absolutely nothing, in situations where you can’t run you better hope a camera catches the interaction or you are screwed

[msc545]

You need to break up with her and get a new, more peaceful girlfriend. You should never be with anyone who is going to get physically aggressive with you for any reason.

[Shy-boy53]

Try and calm her down and talk or give her space and then discuss what the problem is

[Drumlin2001]

Get yourself away from the situation and out of that relationship

[exitseven]

I restrained her sometimes whan it go bad but I would not hit her back.

[sirderpsalot123]

Walk away, run if needed. Not worth getting arrested over.

[bobalife]

LOL SirDerpy, don't walk, you better run & call the cops if that happens to you!

[sirderpsalot123]

@bobalife the cops wouldn't do shit lol

[captain_voidwalker]

Basically this

[ohsheeT]

Turn around and walk away

[Anonymous]

Grab her and out her across your knee and spank her bare bottom red until she stops.

[DextroShade]

You either leave if you can, or put her in a submission hold.

[Twalli]

I would ask her to stop. If she doesn't, then I'd just dump her.

[dumbgirlygirl]

Walk away or hold her gently down if she won’t leave you alone. Try to get help from someone else.

[Anonymous]

Alcohol is a factor

If the relationship is causing emotional responses you need to take alcohol out of the situation

[midnightcavern01]

Leave and report her

[purplepoppy]

Walk away and dump her by text

[madhatters4]

leave relationship.

[permanentem]

Hold her down and fart in her mouth.

[a_gallant_one]

Leave for good

[In_Trance]

Punch her in the face

Straight left...

[beefcakebradybatson]

RUN LIKE H**L !!!

[Anonymous]

Remember, men don’t hit women

[_piotr]

Yes, better to stand there and not defend yourself. What a great advise. Let her injure/kill you or your loved ones just because perpetrator is a female. So sexist torwards men. Denying victim a right to defend himself is just despicable. Even animals defend themsslves, but man, how dare he?