Do you fall for someone’s personality first… or their looks?

Question

Be honest… what actually pulls you in first… the personality or the visuals?

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

You asked that question before, no? I don't know, maybe it was someone else, it's a classic question here anyway.

When I look at relationships I had that started online, then things become odd... I've experienced 3 cases where I've been seriously pulled in without any picture to look at whatsoever.

The first time it happened to me, my mind projected pleasing looks on a woman I haven't even seen, it took me a week to ask for a picture exchange. But as I requested this trade, I was already attracted. It didn't go well, when I looked at her portrait, I suddenly realized my mistake, the huge gap between my projection and reality. I didn't tell her what my true reaction was, I hid it. We met in person rapidly, and I tried, tediously, to get out of this conundrum without telling the truth...

I made the very same mistake a second time, that time I reacted after a few months, I reacted after falling in love 😐. This time though, I was lucky, when the pic trade came, I looked at her, and I felt relieved.

The third time, because I "gambled" a third time lol, I also navigated without any pictures, but there was a twist, it was a reasonable bet somewhat. Throughout hours and hours of conversation with her, she talked about the fact that she was rejecting suitors on a regular basis. Hearing that, I postponed requesting the usual pic trade, however I sent her a few pictures of me, falsely innocently, just in case. (Much) later on, at the moment she sent the first pictures of her, it confirmed why she was rejecting people regularly😌

Voldorac · Accepted Answer

An individual's look gives the inside a chance, but it shouldn't dictate whether you date him or not. All guys know that every woman on the planet has some things with their looks that might be a con to them. But, we do know that if the conversation is progressing and it moves like water and just continues to build up to a bigger stream, then those cons will over time become pros, because you learn to love them.

No woman is a 10. Everyone, in my opinion start at 5 and then progresses or declines depending on looks, but mostly by how you behave outwardly as well as treats him.

Have you ever listened to one of your girlfriends and thought, "She's fkn crazy". That isn't a 10. Despite what she might think of herself. An individual's rating isn't for the individual him/herself to rate. You can believe how much you want that you are a 10, but your mannerisms will dictate whether that is true or not. If you can't score and become a wife, then you have to understand and learn from your mistakes to get a real man.

Most women, on average is either a 4 - 6, but their personality in the eyes of the beholder will dictate the higher score, or not.

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

It used to always be his looks first. Like the first time we saw each other and the way he looked at me I could just tell that he was feeling the same way about me. I dated very good looking guys, and my husband was absolutely the most handsome guy I had ever met. I couldn't believe a guy who was not only so good looking, but very sweet too, would ask me to marry him, but he did! And we had a son together too.🙂

But when I met my late boyfriend for the very first time, it wasn't so much his looks that I was attracted to, but his overwhelming great 👍🏼 personality that reeled me in right away!!

DishLady · Accepted Answer

I go for "their look" not "their looks" if that makes sense. I mean, do they look shifty or act shady? Do they look confident or give off that "droopy dog" energy? etc. And rule of thumb that the guy who is too well dressed (beyond his means), quiet-bragging and waiting for people to come to him is the biggest wanker in the room.

ohsheeT · Answer

We all have energy that surrounds us 15 feet away from our bodies. As I look into somebody's eyes i also feel that energy and that warmth, and it starts telling me something. And then if I see a smile and then I start to hear the words , it kind of all works together , I think. Because no matter what, I'm always going to feel that energy. And then the eyes tell me everything, even though she might be talking with her mouth, her eyes are also telling you another story. So it's everything I think

HawkPerception · Answer

Physical attraction comes first. It's not just how they look. It's their overall appearance and how they present themselves. The way someone dresses speaks volumes about their character.

Personality is what makes the initial attraction last though. You can't have one without the other.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Physical attraction is THE primary factor for potential mate selection for everyone with their complete faculties. This is a well established fact of evolutionary biology.
The best way to ensure a long, successful bloodline is by creating offspring that are healthy and attractive to potential mates.
People who suggest otherwise are ignorant or lying. Usually to fabricate a false sense of moral superiority.

MissSunshine2 · Answer

Usually personality. I'm not a very sexual person. Although I enjoy sex. I tend to experience more romantic and aesthetic attraction than sexual attraction to men. I have to remind myself to consciously think about having sex with someone to feel sexual, or occasionally I feel sexual. Like once a month to once every two months. I think that might be the definition of romantic asexual. Damn, I hate labels. Why not just say you have a lower sex drive than most people, but still get interested in all that stuff, too? :)

So, how it works for me, I usually start off with no attraction whatsoever, wanting friendship, then as I get to know the person better, they start to become more attractive to me. Over the course of a few months.

Bárbara1402 · Answer

The looks is what makes you attracted to someone but personality is what makes you interested. You may get close to somebody because of how they look but eventually understand that they are not meant for you because of their personality and the way they are.

bobalife · Answer

For me, it really depends, typically personality first. But it can be a combination of both. I think there's just something about someone's aura, their smile, the way their mind works, who they are, and our chemistry...

madhatters4 · Answer

looks are the bait but personality is what makes me stay

a restaurant may have a good menu but if the food is rubbish i'm not gonna return. so looks most often are what may attract me to a person but after that their personality has to be a "match" for me to feel compelled to continue pursuing a relationship with them

Screenwriter · Answer

Everyone loves good looks, but if the drapes don't match the rug, i. e. there's no personality bolstering that pretty face, then there's no reason for further contact. Without a sense of humor, wit, a brain, a thought process, some values, there's nothing to hang around with.

I want a whole person to have a connection with.

queenofcardio · Answer

I'm first attracted to their appearance. I'll fall in love based on who they are.

I'm very attracted to someone's mind and I'm very curious about their reasoning for thinking a certain way. Chemistry keeps the spark burning.

Lliam · Answer

Their looks are what catch my initial interest. I can't even know much about their personality, other than their mannerisms, until I know them for a while.
I don't "fall" merely for looks, though. In the end, it's their personality that hooks me.

Spencer10 · Answer

Looks get my attention... but a fantastic personality will make me fall for them

Theunfadeable · Answer

I wouldn’t say I fall for somebody’s looks but obviously looks gonna be the first thing I noticed about anyone unless I’m talking to them online. This isn’t a game where people have their personality and charisma stats floating above their heads. Attraction starts in the physical and goes deeper if the personality and the personal value line up with the physical attraction

Still-alive · Answer

I usually say looks draw me in, personality makes me stay. and as far as looks go im a face guy. as long as i think your face is cute or attractive im good.

Personality is ultimately what will keep me though.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

It kinda depends on what I'm presented with first but, if someone is gorgeous and turns out be a bitch, I'm NOT interested in her! Also, if someone's not all that pretty but is a major sweetheart and a lot like me (or what I'm looking for) I won't mind her looks. I've been "seeing" someone for 18 months, now and am dead set on marrying her, if she'll still have me but, to this day, I still haven't seen a picture of her! Her personality is what attracted me to her!!

lilBigPotato · Answer

Looks is what gets you interested, personality is what makes you stay. It takes time to discover someone's personality so it's difficult to fall for that first.

Apple1996 · Answer

Looks do not matter to me at all. Its 100% personality and how they make me feel is what matters

Nikki1989 · Answer

Personality, no contest. A person will not be drawn to you based solely on your appearance. You can see good-looking people every day of the week. It doesn't have any long-term implications.

NoDecision · Answer

The thing that attracts me the most is a great personality. Looks are in there, but not at the top of my list.

exitseven · Answer

mostly it is looks but sometimes a girl can be different or quirky and all of a sudden she is interesting.

Abbycado · Answer

Define first. Like first impression before talking? First date?

fuddly · Answer

Slight off topic

I find I can be a good judge of character
When I met someone first
By the way it's usually negative🙂
But then my problem is that over time, I allow them to wear me down

and I accept them as friends,

then later I realize they are not real friends

and I try to remember how they became my friend

and then I remember... I didn't like them at first

MrChinaski · Answer

Looks are a mere filter. If you maintain a health weight, do some exercise from time to time and bother to wear something more attractive than a potato sack, then I'm happy. Sadly, that already filters out 1/2 of all people.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Typically looks first I feel like that would be most people though since how a person looks is gonna be the first thing you go off of before you even interact with each other. Unless you grew up with this person in question.

Anastasia4real · Answer

Yes it's happen but in mostly case it's look like one sided attraction better as soon as possible you express your feelings to him/her if you think you really like her/him from your heart ♥️..

Keyboardkat · Answer

For me it was always personality first! "Pretty girls are a dime a dozen, "as the old song "Shop Around" put it! I know I'm dating myself with that reference!

MikeTheBartender · Answer

Looks... The most important thing for initial attraction... But when shit hits the fan because her personality it's the by far least important thing when it comes to deciding or not to dump her!

RavVid · Answer

It is a combo. A slender girl with breasts that jut out doesn't need much personality to be honest. But a girl with a personality can outshine her.

LiamJHayden · Answer

It depends, but usually it is the way she carries herself.

AydenHazor · Answer

While I may be attracted to someone physically, I fall for their personality

oldawg · Answer

I believe that I fall for their looks first and it is all about personality to see if we are compatible then it's about the sex

WonderingManII · Answer

Her looks will make me notice her. If she is friendly I will notice her even more. Maybe even wonder what is wrong with her, if she is being friendly to me.

dragoblack · Answer

It's usually physical, then personality. Most people tend to be that way.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Looks get my attention but personality keeps my attention

4ngelic · Answer

for me i feel it's either a mix of both, or at first looks

Mark987 · Answer

By far the personality. I also would like a Woman with a cute face, but I would rather that I can I have a conversation with all night, and just laugh and get along.

beenherebefore · Answer

I need to like what I see. Attraction is really important for me.

Zionne · Answer

looks can really be deceiving, but at the later days personality will make someone fall everyday

Snowman84 · Answer

Well for men looks are usually first, if attraction isn’t there, then it’s not going to happen

Kenkebuttery · Answer

Looks. Th personality isn't clear on display just from a glance

Shy-boy53 · Answer

Personally every time, well with previous girlfriends anyway

Pohjolan · Answer

Looks first. If she has a good personality but is ugly then she is just friend material at best.

DarKnight36 · Answer

Outward beauty comes first, let me not fool anyone lol. But then, character is important to me.

dudeinohio · Answer

Depends on how I meet them. Online, it is definitely personality first.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Obviously her physical appearance first, then I see what kind of attitude and personality she has.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Looks at first, then personality. Personality does win over looks with me.

Anonymous · Answer

Honestly, for me, it's usually love at first sight, so it's the looks definitely.

Anonymous · Answer

Looks first, personality is something you learn over time.

NatalieReynolds · Answer

I like them for the money.

fonduegirl · Answer

Wit.

msc545 · Answer

both,  really.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Both but more personality

Shiprex · Answer

Personality first for me always.

AgentG111 · Answer

That depends on the situation.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Looks just like everyone else.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Guess?

iguessbihh · Answer

Personality hands down.

robocop666 · Answer

a fit body gets me every time

Fireguy17 · Answer

Personality.

CubaPirate · Answer

Looks first

Do you fall for someone’s personality first… or their looks?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you fall in love with looks or personality first?

Do you fall for someone’s personality first… or their looks?

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Do you fall in love with looks or personality first?

We're glad to see you liked this post.