No feelings? Or fear of being rejected?

[Anonymous]

Me and a guy had been heavily talking/texting for a few weeks. Had a lot in common (gym, kids, and even career stuff). Had a great first date and then had a second one the next day. At the end of the second date, we ended up making out and getting a little handsy. When it was over, I was a little embarrassed and I guess I seemed like I regretted it to him, but really I didn’t want him to see me as only hookup material bc I liked him and saw potential.
after that date, he just completely detached. and finally, we spoke yesterday and he said that basically that my reaction kind of killed the emotional side.
I explained my side and asked if he would want to try again? He hesitated for a long time and then hesitantly said ‘no’. I said ‘okay, I wanted to but if you don’t, then I don’t either.’ I said ‘are you sure’ and he hesitated even longer and then said ‘yes’ even more hesitantly. I said, ‘okay, cool and then gave him details about something I was giving him for his daughter. And then just said bye. Not angry or upset. Haven’t talked to him since. A little confused by what happened. What did I do wrong?

[ManOnFire]

"At the end of the second date, we ended up making out and getting a little handsy. When it was over, I was a little embarrassed and I guess I seemed like I regretted it to him, but really I didn’t want him to see me as only hookup material bc I liked him and saw potential."

- if you didn't want to seem like hookup material you should not have even gotten that physical. He felt disappointed by it, or annoyed that one minute you seem into it and the next giving him the impression that he did something wrong.

Men don't like women flip flopping, whether it's for sex or a real relationship. We don't know everything you explained 'from your side' or how you explained it, so it's tough to say exactly why he wanted to fully reject you. But I think the reason he did was because he wanted you to feel pain and sorrow for how you acted, and when you didn't he was offended. He's not right for doing that, but that is what I think.

[Asker]

We were in a parked car in the middle of a parking lot. In the middle of the day. I wouldn’t think he would have thought we were gonna have sex then and there. Oh well, in retrospect, we probably weren’t a good match. I’m over it. Thank you for your opinion.

[ManOnFire]

It's that you seemed like you regretted it to him that probably gave him a bad vibe.

[OneViewpoint]

What happened? Poor communication. Lacking input from you he made up his own explanation in his head. It was cobbled together from his own insecurities and other failed experiences with the women who came before you.

You were afraid to have the conversation then and there. He was afraid of rejection.

So here you both are. Live and learn.

[Avicenna]

He may have thought you weren't really comfortable with him and lacked patience to try again

[Abbycado]

Well, he obviously thought something didn't click. Only he knows what that is. I wouldn't dwell on it. He made his choice. Time to move on.

[Anonymous]

He realized you were gaming him. Now you are the game. As it should be.👍

[Asker]

lol what an ignorant statement

[Opinion Owner]

No, you're ignorant that you didn't get it then and don't get it now.🤦‍♂️😆

[Opinion Owner]

It ain't just about you hun.

[Asker]

And yet, it’s my life.
I was gaming him? How so? We went on two very inexpensive, but fun dates. I tried to keep it going and tried to talk to him about what happened before it imploded. Yet, it’s all my fault. 🙄
You just seem like a guy that just wants to blame women for everything.

[Opinion Owner]

Hun I'm here to help, not kiss your ass. Clearly you've got it all figured out. Which is why you're here asking questions?🤔🙄😆 Learn a little humility. "And yet it's my life". Got news for ya hun, it's his life to. There's your clue!

You let us know when you really want help not just to vent.👍

[Asker]

If I though you were actually trying to help, I would value what you said. The comment, ‘as he should’ reeks of misogyny. Especially when you have no real details. 🙄
I’m fully aware that it’s his life as well and respect that. I was just curious about the situation as it had never happened before. Not even ranting 🥴

Please save your ‘help’ for …

[Opinion Owner]

OK, fair nuff. Good luck!🙂👍

[Mariogirl09]

He just wanted sex