Is being slightly possessive a red flag, or something I need to address?

[MissSunshine2]

There’s a man I like who likes me. We’ve agreed to date one day, but we haven’t started dating yet and he subtly checks my iPhone messages, leans over and looks when I receive a new text message from one of my many guy or girl friends (I know lots of people, I am naturally quite outgoing and sociable).

He’s not obsessive; and I don’t think it’s wrong for him to want me to wait for him (not sleep with or kiss any other guys); until we get together and then only with him. He’s not abusive or creepy in any way. I’m just not sure about the phone checking.

[bowenw]

It could be a sign of a lack of self confidence on his part. I suggest keeping an eye on his behaviour and see if it becomes a problem. Also, try not to behave in ways to raise suspicion. Be honest with him about who your friends are and reassure him he does not need to worry.

[MissSunshine2]

So like, make an effort to include him in social activities with my guy friends? Also, with my girl friends? Remain reassuring and transparent? 💕

[bowenw]

I don't think it's necessary to include him in all your social activities, just do like you say and be reassuring and transparent.

[bowenw]

Thank you for the MHO. 😊

[msc545]

Most people, particularly men, are slightly possessive. I would not call it a red flag. I think you should just tell them to stop looking at your stuff.

[abbyjgriffin98]

That's a bad sign and you aren't even dating yet.

[dragoblack]

Slightly possessive is fine, but that is insecure paranoia, not posessive. Its a red flag. If you are dating, he shouldn't be checking who you are texting.

[Agape93]

He needs to learn boundaries.