Is it a red flag if a man is possessive?

Question

If so, how possessive does a man need to be?

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Depends on how possessive and controlling he is , Most men in general are territorial over a girl he gives his heart to , Territorial in a sense that he pretty much knows what other men are thinking and will step in , if any other guy is trying to make a move on you. Making it clear to the other guy that she is off limits. So that is normal behavior from a guy , but if he is controlling telling you what you can can not do , or telling you what you can and can not wear , or eat , or who you can and can not hang out with , and tells you that you can’t go places with out him , then you should have a serious talk with him and tell him he needs to back off, because he clearly doesn’t trust you. Why it’s important to set boundaries with each other before committing to anyone in a relationship, Set boundaries together . Understand what you don’t want your partner doing to you, needs to be the same boundaries for you as well , not the other way around. If you can’t respect your partner, don’t expect them to respect you. Most people get confused when it comes down to being respectful in a relationship to being controlled in a relationship. And assume their partner is being controlling and possessive , when really they aren’t , they are just feeling disrespected in the relationship. by their partner they chose to be in a relationship with them. For any relationship to work and for love to grow between 2 people , both people have to be on the same page as things , or that relationship will not last whatsoever. Your partner should be your top priority the same way he should be making you his top priority , over everyone else in this world. If your partner isn’t your top priority be prepared to be single again. One of the biggest relationship killers is selfishness , if you can’t remove selfishness for your partner , they more than likely will not remove it for you. It needs to go both ways for a relationship to last period. We can all easily be selfish without us realizing we are. So learn to remove selfishness by wearing your partners’ shoes before making decisions, and they will more than likely do the same for you. If not? Then you are best to walk away

slatyb · Accepted Answer

That depends on what you mean by "possessive". If you mean disapproving of his partner spending time with others, or just with other men, then yes, that is a red flag.

thatgirl2000 · Accepted Answer

Being territorial is healthy I believe and protective. For example, I was at a party with my boyfriend and this guy noticed me and there were no other chairs. He stood and offered me the seat, I thought he was being polite. He proceeded to sit right next to me and it was very awkward before I had to chance to leave the very uncomfortable situation, my boyfriend firmly pushed him up off the chair and said he was sitting there. He stayed so composed and calm which he usually is. It was one of the sexiest moments for me. But like not wanting you to talk to people or telling you who to be friends with the line is crossed and toxic.

itsannalee · Accepted Answer

Yes, possessive is close to controlling.  You can be proactive without being possessive. It doesn’t matter men or women. If they’re possessive, they are red flag.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to sprinkle some flirtatious wisdom on relationship worries! 😘 When it comes to possessiveness, it definitely can wave a red flag if it starts to feel like a controlling tug-of-war over your time and choices. It should never cross into the territory of restricting your independence or isolating you from loved ones. Trust is key, love! If his intentions seem more about control than care, then it's time to check that flag's color. Remember, a loving relationship should feel like a cozy, supportive hug, not a stranglehold!

HawkPerception · Answer

It's a red flag if anyone is especially possessive. It means they don't trust you enough to be comfortable with you interacting with others. That to me shows a lack of faith in your partner's character. If you don't trust someone, you shouldn't be with them. Of course, it takes time to build trust, but to build trust in the first place, you need to take that leap of faith.

Kelley1 · Answer

Absolutely. He is insecure and consumed with Jealousy.

Jealousy Versus Love

Love is good. Jealousy is evil.

Men that love their wives and girlfriends don’t expect perfection. Jealous men think of their lovers as possessions and not as independent people and go into a rage over any imperfection.

Love is trust. Jealousy is suspicion.

Men that love have confidence and high self-esteem. Jealous men are envious and lack of self worth.

Love is warm, tender and compassionate. Jealousy is rage.

Love is forgiving. Jealousy is unforgiving.

Men that love will lift their wives and lovers to the sky and give them freedom to be all that they can be. Jealous men control and confine, and will pull down their wives and girlfriends to their level and trample them under their feet. As a result, women that are loved will try to live up to expectations. Wives and lovers, who are belittled, spied on, questioned, denied privacy, and subjected to constant defamation and accusations, tend to live down to the suspicions of jealous men. After all, how can a wife maintain any self-esteem in those circumstances?

Love gives the confidence and self-assurance for men to have pride when other men show attention and admiration toward their wives and lovers. Jealous men are fearful and envious of the same admiration.

Men that love will risk their lives to protect their wives from any real harm. Jealous men will beat their wives and threaten other men over imaginary fears.

Now, none of the above implies that love will be blind to the facts. Nor does it mean that a loving husband will accept much infidelity. However, a well adjusted husband will weigh years of fidelity against one or two short indiscretions and make the correct and logical decision.

Garud · Answer

You are going out with female friends late at night, if he is telling you not to go out so late then it is done in good faith. It cannot be called possessiveness.

If he complains to you repeatedly that you are not listening to him during conversations, unless you constantly keep your face towards him and say hmm or yes to every line of conversation, but when you start talking and he does not respond with the same courtesy then it is a sign of possessive behaviour.

He is calling and you are in the bathroom. But you see 10 missed calls.

But later you come to know that there was nothing important but he wanted reply immediately. But he does not reply quickly to your call or message or he does not reply at all. In this way you can guess in detail. These subtle signs create a great picture.

Miristheiss · Answer

True controlling possesive, yes.

Many women call EVERYTHING controlling.

They expect men to have no standards or boundaries or standards for girlfriend, wife behavior.

Wild, drinking girl's nights and trips, hanging out on friend dates with guys, dressing skimpy, tattoos and piercings... guys do not just have to be ok and doormats to every stupid whim a woman has.

It is ok to put down boundaries and end things with women who are more interested in acting single then being a respectful mate who prioritizes the relationship.

Anonymous · Answer

How dare a man wish for commitment from a woman!

It's what y’all hope and wish for, and vocalize from the rooftops on social media after all… you just wish it was from ALL the Chad’s, Brad’s and Tyrone’s in your DM’s (that your ALREADY COMMITTED man is unfortunately probably already on to you about)

You ladies really need to think about how important and good a man is for you NOW, in the moment, and what the prospect of a future looks like with that man. And come to terms with how you feel about that… Not what all the other Chad’s and Tyrone’s could be if they just “SETTLED DOWN.. or STOPPED DOING DRUGS or GOT OVER THEIR DRINKING PROBLEM.. or GOT THEIR LIVES TOGETHER (but “I can save him” complex).. or PICKED YOU (out of their long list of other woman that are vying for their attention and are just playing the field, and that ultimate ego-victory and fantasy of you winning the game)…”

So many girls turn down solid candidates for a good man in their lives because they think the grass is always greener, and there might always be another man around the corner that for some reason is just going to allow her to have her cake and eat it too…

Relationships don’t work like that! You can have your other male friends, if they aren’t romantically interested in you, that’s fine, but most guys don’t know what the intentions of these other guys are, until it’s too late and the girl is gone.

I mean, you really should be glad that a man is trying to be protective of you. It’s like woman have no grasp or understanding of how important and significant they can be to a man, in their own lives… he wants you to be more committed, maybe live up more to your words and actions. Why is that a bad thing? Oh, because you have your eyes on someone else, it seems… no? (Secretly maybe yes)

AHHHH, see? …but nope, “it’s the man’s fault.” ACCOUNTABILITY… the woman’s kryptonite.

molonski2 · Answer

Massive RED FLAG , he is completely insecure , and it will only get worse , he will try to control and isolate you , he will tell you what clothes to wear and what you are required to eat , where you will live and work , what male friends you are allowed to have..

MASSIVE MASSIVE Red ( Glowing ) Flag , control freak this guy.

Anonymous · Answer

If a guy hasn't learned to just dump you if he doesn't like your behavior, instead of crying about your behavior, you shouldn't date him. Real men don't beg, they go find better deals. Don't date a man that begs.

katiesmuff · Answer

It's pretty easy to see from the start, such as everything you do has to be his way or likes to keep things like his phone very private and many other little things.

Jackblue · Answer

Yes, if your boyfriend is possessive when you are just dating him imagine how much he would try to control you if you married him.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

It all depends on how possessive he is and what type of relationship you two have. Some women like that that's why they have those Daddy Dom relationships

Oldschool1981 · Answer

I'm the exact opposite. My wife has a boyfriend and I'm okay with it

Apple1996 · Answer

Yep huge red flag

WowGIrl4ever · Answer

Depends how possive and how fast he becomes that way

HighValue · Answer

The people that don't like possessive partners are often disloyal and low quality. Both partners should be somewhat possessive of each other if they actually care about their partner and are serious.

KrakenAttackin · Answer

Define possessive.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Excessive jealousy is a red flag

ProbablyClueless · Answer

It probably ought to be.

Jennz6 · Answer

When he thinks you’re his sex slave

kaucky1 · Answer

If asks for Your phone then leave

SpaceGalaxy · Answer

Yes. It is another word for controlling

Anonymous · Answer

Yes! Possessive men are creepy.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Umm... Yeah?

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

yes, i think he shouldn't be at all

zombiewoof · Answer

Very red, and big

eagle1951 · Answer

yeah

Is it a red flag if a man is possessive?

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If a man is possessive, is that a sign of love or a big red flag? Why or why not?

Is it a red flag if a man is possessive?

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If a man is possessive, is that a sign of love or a big red flag? Why or why not?

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