Can anything but a man fill the void a dad left?

[Anonymous]

I feel like finding a man who takes care of me and makes me feel loved is the only thing that'll stop me from seeking validation everywhere else. I am such a pick me its embarrassing... I try not to. Inner worth is such a confusing concept to me.

But at the same time, this feels like a bad place to start any relationship from.

[Effably]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel loved or safe.

While a bit crass my relationship philosophy is that wants are good and needs are generally okay to bad.
You absolutely can want it. But do you need it? You function anyway, don't you?

Have heard a thousand different ways people managed to heal their inner child. All the way from therapy or accomplishments to specific empowering bedroom acts.

Something probably can. Needing to heal a bit is normal. Most of us are a little messed up somewhere on the inside. Degree varies.

[Asker]

Thanks. I like the part about all of us being a little messed up. Ill try. I do function, its just embarrassing sometimes when u slip

[Anonymous]

you are right to be cautious. Relying on a partner to be the sole source of your worth often creates a heavy dynamic where you might tolerate poor treatment just to keep that validation coming. Inner worth isn't a magical feeling; it’s a practice. It means talking to yourself the way a protective, loving father would.
It’s okay to want to be cherished. The goal isn't to not want a man, but to get to a place where a man is a wonderful addition to your life rather than your entire foundation.

Good luck.

[HollyK21]

It sounds like you’d be nothing other than codependent, toxic and needy of a man who you think is filling a void. If you haven’t already then you should be doing the work (aka therapy) to address your mental health issues and childhood trauma. Knowing you’re a male centered woman should be a big wake-up call.

[Anonymous]

You understand your problem so you're far ahead of the game already. Most women would never even admit this fact, not even to themselves. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you're worthy of love and respect. And that that is not transactional.

[AngryCarl3]

No one can ever fill the void left by your biological father.

[jahaims]

You can't have a healthy relationship until you can feel right without a partner

[Nikki1989]

Obviously there are many things.