How do you get over your appearance insecurity?

[fonduegirl]

my brother's crush is all sad and mushy that she's not pretty enough to find true love and his attention to her and praises ain't changing her mindset. ik because he sent me a screenshot of her insta story. he's asking for my advice. the problem is, she doesn't sound superficial this time

she is kind of average, which is the end of the world if you're a girl coz people are crazy about female beauty. i kind of get it, as a fat girl myself, i can still get men but there's still a gaping hole inside. so yeah I don't wanna let my brother down, say something wise and cool

[Cyfris]

I'm not sure it is something to get over. Pretty sure it something that everyone experiences at some point in life and that you just learn to accept for what it is. No one is better or worse then another just different and in time most people leave it as more things arrise the require your efforts. I would tell him it is normal and to not play into her ego and try to make her self doubt up to her with praise but to ignore it and to instead make an effort to point out when praise is actually due because she put extra effort in to her hair and you appreciate it or she wore special clothes for a special occasion.

[Ms_Facesitter]

What helped me was that praise from the person I was dating at the time, but I guess that isn't an option because she's ignoring your brother.

Other things might be weird, but getting work done. Getting things done. Working out (Not just because it's healthy and helps you get more fit. But because it might not be something that you want to do, but you went anyway and got it done.) That's just one example but doing things out of your comfort zone and see it through until the end, that feels good. That feels great. That makes you a stronger person, a more confident person. And confidence is attractive. It's part of your appearance.

So is smiling, you're prettier when you smile.

A nice outfit can help you feel great as well.

[WhitneySnow]

Oh it’s you! Now I know who you are!

Unfortunately I don’t know the answer to your question. Sorry.

[ChiTown33]

Tell him most women are going to find him unattractive. That's just the lot of a guy.🤣 and then after he opens his mouth even fewer of them are going to find him attractive. But this is a GOOD THING believe it or not. Because once you realize this you can just NOT CARE. And the one who actually like the mix of him, the outward shell, the interesting gooey center, and the weird crunchy nougat that is him, will find him. Till then, tell him to just be the awesome person that he is. Life is too short to think any other way.👍

[fonduegirl]

His crush is insecure, he isn't

[ChiTown33]

Oh, sorry I misread the first line in the description.
Well, her confidence is not his responsibility I'm afraid. I mean all a person can do is give a person honest positive reinforcement. But at the end of the day her confidence has to come from within. He cannot give that to her.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"say something wise and cool"

Lovers are lovers. Therapists are therapists. Only ChatGPT tries being both, it's not looking pretty.

[Grond21]

Appearance insecurity usually stems from the belief that it's the main way someone will stay attracted to you. And therefore, the main way to keep someone loving you. But if you can believe that your heart and mind are actually inherently lovable, then your appearance matters less. It becomes truly possible that someone could love you for who you are, even if something bad happens to you physically.

After that, the appearance insecurity becomes much less significant.

[Agape93]

I don't have it