Is he playing mind games or actually pulling away after 3 months?

[pernille10]

I've been seeing this guy for 3 months now.
recently i started taking longer to reply sometimes because of work and school and also bc i think enough time has passed to not feel the need to talk 24/7 (he replies late sometimes too)

In the past after i took a bit to reply he said “took you ages” and exactly this happened 2 days ago as well, he said the same thing.
Except this time he reposted this:

“when she starts taking longer to reply and less talkative so you know your 3 month free trial has ended”

i took this as if its targeted at me. I dont want him to think i want to ghost him, but im not sure if he is talking to other girls that are currently ghosting him. Or maybe he just wanted to mindfuck me, because on the same night he reposted it he left me on delivered til the next day. So i liked his repost so he knows i acknowledged it but his last text is basically unreplyable and i dont know if he thinks i’m ghosting or not.

should i bring this up with him or just wait see? Or is this just out of insecurity? did he basically communicated he gave up on our connection?

[HollyK21]

In all honesty it sounds like he’s setting things up to make you feel like you’d be at fault if things don’t work out vs the other way around. I had this happen back when I was dating, and he was so stubborn about having any faults that I literally had to line up text messages and timestamps for him to see that I was actively responding no faster or longer than he was starting to as well. At the same time, this experience is what prompted me to move away from connections where texting was such a focal point, because essentially you wanna transition to hanging out mainly in person with texts being more of a check-in. It just becomes hard for some people to remain interested in maintaining and engaging in texts conversations. You start running out of things to talk about or get bored with having to dig for topics after a point.


In your situation, it wouldn’t hurt to have a conversation because if things were to end then you shouldn’t want it to be all on you, how he seems to be trying to lay the groundwork for. Whether you choose to clear the air or not though, I’d really consider ending that connection and investing both my time/energy into something more sustainable. It’s ok to be understanding of someone’s busy schedule, but the fact that he was so consistent with chatting in the beginning tells me he has some sort of time on his hands. It’s also only been 3 months so I don't know how much could change in this window of time. Maybe he was on winter break or something when you met and now school/work are messing with his availability. I don’t know. But if this is what you have to look forward to then if I were you I wouldn’t want that.

[Cyfris]

“when she starts taking longer to reply and less talkative so you know your 3 month free trial has ended”

He told you exactly how he feels. He feels like he is being tested. Like if he doesn't pay up he won't be able to watch his favourite show anymore. Men notice changes in our environment. It's how we survived dinosaurs and tigers and women for all of time. So if you make a change and don't explain the change it all looks like lions to us.

[Staximus]

How often do you see this guy in person?

[Staximus]

The guy is insecure and feels like you are pulling away

[pernille10]

Im seeing him usually once a week or every 8-10 days or so. I let him initiate the meeting so i just wait for him to ask to meet usually. I told him if he wants to see me more he can ask, he said he will never say it because of his ego🤷‍♀️

[Staximus]

It sounds like you don't really want him around that much, and that is probably what he's thinking. How many dates have you been on with this guy?

[pernille10]

I want him around i just don’t know what to do. He never shows affection through text only in person and plans are made through texts and his “texting tone” throws me off sometimes. But we saw eachother countless times maybe like 12-15 times

[Staximus]

It sounds like both of you care too much about texting

[In_Trance]

Move on