Is he just stressed or losing interest?

[Anonymous]

Ok so I've been temporarily working with my boyfriend of 2 years since a month. We were together in college, spent almost everyday together however recently things have been different. His job is HECTIC (I'm an intern) and drains him but he's always upbeat in a group and talks a lot BUT for the past week our communication has hit a low, he talks less even though he takes me back to his apartment everyday, he isn't into holding hands anymore. I'm confused if he's stressed or comfortable or losing interest. He seems so distracted but really enthusiastic around other people. He always wants to hang out and really wants me to join the same company but I feel like spending everyday together is taking it's toll (though this wasn't the case in college) what do I do?

[lliissaam]

It could be stress, have you tried having a conversation with about it? it sounds like he could be going through something, maybe his job is wearing him out or it's too much pressure, it'd be best to ask him, I would. Best of luck 🙃

[Asker]

He is definitely stressed out but I don't know why he's so upbeat about his friends and co-workers but when it's just the two of us, he seems quiet, distracted and like he isn't really bothered. He invites me to his apartment willingly and all, says 'I love you're when I leave, hugs me.

[Glitz_Glamour]

Its difficult to say. It could be any of the reasons you mentioned. Rather than make assumptions I'd ask him. Tell him how you feel , and what's on your mind. His response will let you know exactly where you stand.

[Asker]

I did talk and he said uta a past fight that's bothering him but that's so sudden I couldn't really digest it. He doesn't want to break up because he openly tells everyone in the office I'm his girlfriend, invites me to his apartment and all. It's just he sounds more enthusiastic about his friends and co-workers than when he's with me.

[Glitz_Glamour]

Maybe it's because he puts a front on around other people. He may not want people to know he has things on his mind. He may be acting differently in front of you because he isn't putting a false front on, because he's more comfortable around you. He can be his true self with you. We all have days where we feel less enthusiactic etc but it's usually only those we are close who see us like that

If I'm upset or down with things on my mind I try to smile and be usual self around work colleagues etc to avoid them asking what's wrong with me. With my SO I'll act the way I really feel. Only he sees a difference in my personality

[Glitz_Glamour]

Enthusiastic*

[Asker]

You know I love your answer because this is something he said to me 2 weeks ago, "if I have to be happy happy around you too then what's the use of us being together?"

He does put on a front, he admits that he tries to impress people to establish lasting friendships and connections. It's this upbeat attitude that makes me feel bad that he isn't as enthusiastic and happy around me. He smiles with them, doesn't as much with me. I get that he's stressed but it's hard for me.

[Glitz_Glamour]

Yeah i can understand how hard it must be for you , but just try to look on it in a positive way. It isn't easy to find someone who you can just be yourself with. No one is happy all of the time , even if they appear to be on the outside.

It is a compliment to you really that he can be moody or downhearted around you if that is how he truly feels in any given moment. It shows he trusts you and feels comfortable with you. Like they say "if someone can't accept you at your worst , then they don't deserve to be with you at your best ". Try to overlook it, and encourage him to talk about what is on his mind.

It is so easy to be in a relationship during the good times , but the strength of the relationship is determined when you both face challenges and problems in your life. Use this as an opportunity to strengthen the relationship bond

[Asker]

Your reply is giving me so much hope and strength. I think I'm definitely going to do as you asked me to. Try not to think much and carry on as normal.

[Glitz_Glamour]

I am happy it has helped. I wish you well, and i am sure your relationship will become stronger ♥ :)

[Asker]

Thank you for your answer, appreciate it! 😊

[Glitz_Glamour]

You're very welcome

[Glitz_Glamour]

Thank you for the MHO 🌹

[Asker]

You're welcome 😊😊

[babymomma]

He is probably just tired from the day and doesn't feel like you have much to talk about since you both know what happened at work

[Asker]

I really hope that's it.
I mean we used to hold hands and all until 2 weeks ago.

[babymomma]

I went threw the same thing but I was with my boyfriend working directly one on one in a truck and I was pregnant with a baby he never wanted

[Asker]

God, that's so so so much more stressful, I hope you got through it?

[babymomma]

yes I quit working as soon as she was born and she's 3 1/2 now

[Asker]

And you guys are still together too? Wow, that must've taken a lot of strength !

[babymomma]

ya going on 6 years now and we went threw a lot

[Asker]

Wow
I think I'm just going to stay positive like you did!

[Anonymous]

yeah, i don't know if working together is such a great idea. most companies have a policy against that

[Asker]

No such policy here, and why do you think his behavior has become like this?

[Opinion Owner]

i bet there is a policy

[Asker]

There is not

[Opinion Owner]

i bet there is

[Anonymous]

Just bide your time. Sounds like it isn't the best idea to be working and dating.