My boyfriend and I have been together just over a month, and I've known him for about 2 1/2 months. He started a new job which is very, very demanding of his time about a week after we became official. Since then he's been more distant, we haven't seen each other in over two weeks and I find it really hard to stay in contact with him without feeling like I'm annoying him. We were used to talking every day, we saw each other often while we were dating (though not excessively), he was so loving and affectionate and we knew we would be in this for the long haul, that was very clear from early on. He is very apologetic about being so busy now, although he doesn't seem like his normal self, and I've tried to be understanding and supportive. I suggested I just back off for a while and let him get on with work, as I know this is only going to be temporary for the next couple of months. My question is, could it be that he's already losing interest in me or am I just imagining it? He doesn't seem to want to make plans or bothered about seeing me, although I know how busy he is, he works late into the night and constantly on the go. Am I taking this too personally when it isn't even really about me? How do I know he still cares? I feel like we haven't been together long enough to handle this amount of time apart but I don't want to back down over something like this. What should I do, if anything?
Most Helpful Guy
This is about work and nothing personal about you or the relationship. Working long hours can be all consuming. You just want to get off work, relax a little and go to bed. It can be extremely straining on a relationship.
If it's only for a couple of months you can just wait it out. Don't put him under any pressure to give you more time, he has enough pressure already. I don't know how many hours he's working but people can get very irritable and blow up at the slightest things. Pressure from you might cause him to blow and say things he doesn't mean.
I've been in companies where everyone was so stressed out that we had to be careful about everything we said, and we had to just ignore other people when their tempers blew. One time I just walked up to a guy's cube and tapped on the door, and he just blew up at me. He had his back to me and didn't even know who I was or what I wanted. You just have to let it go and try not to blow up back.
To give an idea how bad it can get, I've been in companies where I literally hated wasting the time to go to the bathroom.
I don't know about the rest of your relationship, but the work part is definitely not about you.
One thing you might try. He'll still be taking lunch breaks, so you might try asking if he wants to meet for a quick lunch somewhere. (he might also work while eating)
Just give him a lot of space and have patience. And don't be surprised if it lasts longer than 2 months.2