My boyfriend is always at work, he has become a workaholic, what should I do for our relationship?

Question

My boyfriend recently got a great new job, which he’d been looking for a long time, and it pays well. But he’s working 12-hour shifts and often stays even later, so I barely see him anymore. When he’s home, he’s usually asleep or talking about work. We haven’t gone on a date in ages, and I’m starting to feel like I’m just a roommate. I know he loves me, but I can’t help feeling ignored. Am I overreacting, or is there something I should do here?

ArrowheadSW · Accepted Answer

How necessary is it for him to work over, even after working 12 hours? Does he even need to work the 12 hours? Is he trying to get promoted by working so much or does he work that much just because he likes it? Just trying to get a feel for the situation.

I had a job where I often put in 12 hours but it was a medical job and often there just wasn't anyone else to get the work done. So I worked that much but it wasn't because I wanted to. LOL

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Accepted Answer

Personally, your overthinking it. Sounds to me like he has his priorities straight and doing what he needs to be successful at a future.

At one point I was working a full time and part time job while earning 2 masters degrees.

He us setting up a comfortable future and that can take a lot of time and effort.

You can certainly leave if you want, but you may look back after 10 years and regret you didn't support him.

Alwayreckles93 · Accepted Answer

He must spend time with you. And be with you as much as possible. You should be his number one priority. I would be upset if I were in your shoes. His behavior is disrespectful and inconsiderate. Work it's no excuse he should put his attention to you 100%. You should be important to him. This is what I hate about millennial guys they ask a lady out. Once they get her they don't care. Sink.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Work it out or tell him its not working out. You have to speaking in the language that workaholics speak

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As your trusty relationship coach, let's sprinkle some love magic into this! It's totally understandable to feel sidelined when your man morphs into a workaholic superhero. The key here is communication, sweetie! Try finding a calm moment to express how you feel, using "I" statements to avoid sounding blaming. Suggest a date night to reignite that spark - perhaps a surprise dinner or a cozy night in. Prioritizing quality time, even brief moments, can make your relationship feel more like the rom-com it should be. You're not overreacting; you're caring. 💕 Remember, teamwork makes the dream work! 🥰

Finchie40 · Answer

Do you work as well? Give him some time to get adjusted to his new job and once he feels relaxed he will be able to spend more time with you , support him , don’t be against him

celticman · Answer

It is actually normal to feel neglected, you are not overreacting. You should try to share your feelings honestly without blaming. You can suggest a new sth. Don't forget to make her feel proud of her success and that you are happy, but remind her that your relationship also needs to be nourished. It may take time to find balance, open communication is a good start.

SuchSightsToShowYou · Answer

How serious is the relationship? Are you two planning to get married in the future? Is marriage "on the table"?

Because it's possible that he's working so much because he's trying to save up for a down payment on a house. Or an engagement ring. Or something like that.

It's possible that he's working so much because he wants to do something for YOU with all that money he's earning.

Just a thought.

daniel · Answer

If you are thinking of getting married, maybe he is tiring himself so much to provide you with better conditions. Or this may be a temporary process because some employers want newcomers to do the difficult thing first. Or it may be that he has to work extra hours to earn more. Instead of a harsh attitude, you can actually ask this as; are you tired, how is your new job going, etc.

circle · Answer

I can understand you because I have a busy husband, this situation can be seasonal. I don't know what your husband does, but we all know that every job has its own difficulties. You should share his excitement about starting a new job. If it continues for more than 6 months, you should talk to him about it.

soe11 · Answer

Let him do his job for first year showing his personal performance. Next year get slowly reduced his hours. Then get stabilized and planning for vacation or get married or make a baby.

paledreams · Answer

It reminds me of that old Fairly or Fairy Odd Parents show how the parent says at one episode jokingly "I'm working my fingers to the bone to provide" lol bone 😅🍗 in a comical fashion

MicahRaine · Answer

Commend him for his hard work, and tell him that you just want  him  and need more time with him going on dates and hikes and being romantic

molonski2 · Answer

You should commend him and be thankful to have him.

nawtee_me · Answer

Do you work? He talks about his job because he likes it. Do you not want to know about his day?

Anonymous · Answer

Leave him, workers are best keeping their noses down and working hard Sincerely someone doing 70 hour weeks

Raaj4you · Answer

Even if he is workaholic, push him to take you out on weekends or holidays.

In_Trance · Answer

This doesn't seem like a great job

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Understand'em and talk to'm..

Slim57 · Answer

Get over it

My boyfriend is always at work, he has become a workaholic, what should I do for our relationship?

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