Often at early stages of talking, many guys can say you’re the only one they’re talking to. Is that true or just part of dating games to get the girl?

[bobalife]

[ohsheeT]

I know for me if im talking to i to or 3 girls and one dat one of the girls say I really like you and if I really like her then I stop talk to the other 2 and at thevsame time if I really like someone I would stop talking to the other 2 a long time ago

Because that's the last thing I want is for that girl somehow to find out that I am talking to other girls I just don't think that's cool I've said it a hundred times I have a one woman at a time guy

[bobalife]

Wow, that’s such an interesting and coincindink, he said a very similar line to me… but thank you, it makes me feel extra better reading this from another guy perspective because it makes me trust him even more on what he said since often I’m used to guys saying this to me because its just a game to try to get me while they’re still exploring lol.

[ohsheeT]

Ok but just because I think something believe something or feel something it doesn't mean im right. What it means it works for me and every one is different

So I have tried to tell this for many years. Every yime to talk to him or any guy clear your head of every thing focus on his words focus on his eye movement focus on his body language focus on his tone because

Yes words are communication but so is everything else you communicate more with the rest of your body than your voice sometimes and those are the things that you have to pay attention to

Everything in this world is vibration is a pattern pay attention to it and he will show you his pattern he will show you his vibration he will show you everything he will tell you the truth as he's lying to you and he won't even know it you just have to pay attention to everything

And then sometimes it's not what he says it's what he doesn't say that gives him away

You are a very smart woman I know you pay attention to all this stuff just don't give that all caught up in the new friends in the moment type thing just be yourself relax and pay attention

[Cyfris]

I am serious about it when I say it. It is not fair in my opinion to hide it from someone. I feel they have the right to not want to be with me if I am not commited to them. And I have found in my experience the ones who stick around are doing so for the right reasons instead of a fantasy.

[Cyfris]

My bad I didn't read the question correctly.

[bobalife]

Lol what’s your new response since you read it correctly?

[Cyfris]

The same thing only different. I tend to be true to my word and so do most healthy intelligent men. Which is a blessing and a curse because as I say these words 2 boys are rubbing their hands together greedily thinking I just made their game easier and in a way I probably did. But that isn't my intent. For me and many other men I know even growing up it was basically the same. We are in or out or along for the ride. We make a choice pretty quickly where you land in those three groups and we stick with it. So a man who is and says it a man that is out and says it and a man that is along for the ride and says it all probably mean something different.. Well I guess the in and along guy likely say you are the only one for the same reason which is you are the only one. The out could be trying to not hurt your feelings or his penis's feelings until figures his shit out. But most men only want one woman and consider more then that more work then it is worth. Really only the upper eshelon of attractive men have the ability to juggle multiple women easily. So if he is a 10 and you are a 7-8 watch the fric out. But with in normal dating perimeters 8 with an 8 you will be safe more times then not to assume good over evil.

[bobalife]

Thank you for your dating 101 lesson, this was very helpful! 😃 I actually feel a lot better now after reading more and more of these answers on my post. I needed the reassurance since I’m too used to the playas or bad apples lmao 😭😭😭

[Cyfris]

Yeah there are two mating strategies, Love birds and peacocks. The peacock with the brightest plume takes as many girls has he wants. The chances for long term monogomy are slim unless you are the top of the tens. But it also means a girl who is an 8 can sleep with a guy who is a ten and have babies above her class and pass on better genes for generations to come. Or love birds, two 7s, 2 hearts, 1 life. Much higher chances for long term success. Know what game your playing know the potential outcome.

[bobalife]

😂😂😂 I’m dead with the metaphors but I get it. Sometimes, a 2 or 5 be playing the exact same game as a 10 these days… lmao. But I understand the higher the number, the bigger pool they had to wanna settled down. I def exp and seen this many times lmao. Aka modern dating real world problem in the U. S 🥲

[Cyfris]

But what about the 6 /7 ... lol but yeah you are right the idea trickles down to all levels of the game. The same can be said anywhere there is sexual dimorphism or a large difference between mates. Usually more than 1 point deviation. so 8/6 is not likely to pair bond but 7/8 can. It gets tricky with women because a man that looks like 7 can be an 8 or a 9 to a woman depending on how she values his traits where as men are less swayed and a 7 is a 7 with the highest possible deviation to 8 if she is a virgin with a sexy accent or something unlikely or realistic usually resulting in a 7 just being a 7. So I would just be sure to fact check the number you give your guy with a couple people less interested to make sure you aren't in fairy land and your number is an accurate representation of reality.

[bobalife]

Im sooooo deadddd by all these math… math is mathing with love calculation here 😭😭😭 my friends usually tell me… when I tell them a guy is a 8… they said I’m blind he’s a 10 lmfao!!! Took me a long time I rate my dudes pretty hard on good looks 😭😂 but I’ve been growing and kinda easing up on that more now lmao.

Wellllll I’m fucked because I’m def in fairyland😆lmao!!! But yeah to me, both looks and personality is what I looked for… I feel like I’m personally an 7.5 - 8. But he probably thinks I’m a 10 from the way he talks and treats me 🥹

Idkkkkkk, sometimes, 7 or 8 guys can be the safe good men, but other times they’re not much different than the rest! Wbu?

[Cyfris]

True story bro. Anyone is capable of being a dog and chasing their tail at any level of the game. But it is much harder the lower down you go the consequences are more real and there are many less options. That is why I say be sure where you stand with a person before you lay with them. For me I am an aging out man who used to be able to have whoever he wanted and has had to come to terms with the reality of those choices later in life where changes are to late to impact the future. That is why I try to share my experiences with others. I have had an above average sample size for my research and been educating myself for years about social dynamics.

[bobalife]

You’re only 40, it’s the new thirties! Lol. There’s still a lot of great women :) thanks for sharing your research of your dating experiences, I hope it has helped you shaped your lenses and growth on what to do next to find a long lasting relationship.

[Cyfris]

Thanks. You say the sweetest things to me... I haven't given up hope but I have body count north of 70, balding head, and once perfect beard that is now more salt then pepper. Options aren't what they used to be. I'm in the living my best life for me and if someone wants to join in cool and if they don't I can respect that also. It is kinda like being on the tenth plate at an all you can eat buffet. More or less I am satiated either way.

[bobalife]

Misteruh Cyfris, you're only 40 and still have a long life to live to enjoy :) I'm glad you aren't losing hope and staying optimistic! We all age and change, but its important we embrace the changes as there are still good things that come with it. Everyone has their own cup of tea and so do you! I agreed, the options are harder to choose who will be a good partner. But I am sure once you find her, you will know or she's already there and you just need to take another look to realize it is her before someone else takes her! :D Sometimes, we think our pool of options is so little and we look for the next best thing... but I learned people forget to just get to know someone truly for who they are and embrace the whole person. It is easier said than done, but isn't that true love to really accept someone for who they are and vice versa? Two amazingingly imperfect individuals coming together to be amazing together, right? Or as you said, I also believe we do NOT need a partner to truly be happy in life. However, if it is what you seek, go get your Juliet! :D

[Cyfris]

Cheers!

[bobalife]

If you have netflix, you should watch "age of attraction" it was very fasintaing and insightful talking about aging, love and romance, and breaking the stigma when it comes to dating with ages.

[bobalife]

cheers, cheers~ :D Happy St. Patty if you are from the U. S. whooooo!

[Cyfris]

Neat I like new knowledge I may do that. I am honestly not worried about it. I have the charisma of a much better looking man still which makes up for a lot of what I lack so it is not like I struggle I just have other priorities higher on my to do list at the moment. I was moreso just acknowledging my flaws to be more relatable and explain how I can speak of what its like to be a high math and a low math.

[DishLady]

Presume they're not ONLY talking to you unless they specifically say that they are only talking with you.

[ElenaSeluna]

Well, I believe it depends on the guy himself also... it’s a gradual process... they’ll talk to a few, then if they like a specific one and see potential of having a relationship with her, they’ll focus on her only... so multiple things affect the process...

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Never trust that. There's too many guys who lie. And there's a lot of woman who are lying and don't think they are. So to a lot of guys it's not even a real question.

Personally I think lying about stuff like that is low quality. Especially after a 2nd or 3rd date

[Jersey2]

For me it would be true. There are always players out there. If they lie about that they are bad news so just forget them. I always zeroed in on one person, that is just the way I was. Married now though.

[bobalife]

Thanks for being one of the good guys and congrats on happily married 🥹 yeah I’m too used to too many playas… 🥲😪

[Still-alive]

I kinda wouldn’t believe it until you get to the exclusive stage tbh.

if he is actually telling you that though i would give him the benefit of the doubt unless he breaks his promise.

Best of luck Boba!

[MidnightRivers]

It's generally a thing they say when they're talking to others but genuinely only want her

[bobalife]

Interesting

[Grond21]

Depends on the guy. When I was in that stage, I never lied. But I know that some people, both men and women, do.

[NathanDavis]

in my case, it was always true... but I never said it

I've never been a serial dater, like that

[AgentG111]

Depends on the guy. He may only be talking to you while pile driving other females.

[Anonymous]

I have no idea, I never had a "dating game", maybe that's one of the reasons I never had a relationship.

[shortster]

Do you want them to be exclusive before you go out on a date with them?

[queenofcardio]

I don't believe it

[berserk945]

Sadly probably just saying it. But I feel these days women do the same.

[exitseven]

Some guys tell the truth. It depends.

[CubaPirate]

Depends on the Guy but I tell the truth

[vicphilips]

Sometimes right, sometimes wrong 🙂