Girls, when you talk to other guys in front of your date?

[Anonymous]

girls, when you talk to other guys in front of your date to kinda make him jealous, what happens when he doesn't give a sh*t. How do you feel, when he shows no emotion like it didn't affect him at all? Would it make you want him more as he was indifferent or cause he was so secure or would it p*ss you off or what..? Thanks.

[KatBusa]

There are some very good responses to this question. michljordyn is spot on. I have a good bit of experience when it comes to women who like to play games. The deal is this. If she is playing games then she thinks she has the ball in her court. She knows she already has you so she will continue to play with your head because she likes the attention. The biggest thing is not to let her have the ball in her court. This will prevent you from being side lined as a friend. So when she does crap like talking to other guys in front of you pay it no mind. Don't even bring it up. If she has an issue as to why you seem so indifferent and neutral flat out tell her that its no biggie because each of you have your own life and friends. Even if it royally pisses you off swallow that emotion and don't let her see it. Then later on show her you care another way. Give her that validation she was looking for when she pulled that stunt but don't be over zealous about it. Something small like a warm compliment or a soft touch.

Guys I can not stress this enough. Do not get emotionally invested before its the correct time to. If you do you will be caught in a swamp that will drown you. Keep your emotions in check so the ball is in your court. If you stay as close to neutral as possible but give a little validation here and there it will keep her second guessing and she will start to chase. Once you see that drive to chase from her then you know it's time to give it your all because you have her full undivided attention.

Always remember though that some women just won't work well with you and you need to recognize that and move on.

[mikeb79]

She left for 15 minutes to talk to another guy? Yikes. That's a long time. Were you both clear you were on a date and not simply hanging out?

My response would depend on my attraction to the girl. If I was very much attracted, I'd bring it up. "Kelly. I'm really happy to be out with you tonight. I couldn't help but notice you talking with Joe. My instinct is that you wanted to talk to a friend, but I can't help but wonder...have I not been paying enough attention to you tonight? Or maybe not the right kind of attention?"

Or something like that. If you want to broach the subject with her a few days after the event, that's fine, too.

If she says, no you're doing great with me, then great. If she then continues spending extended periods of date time talking with other guys, you could simply tell her, "Listen, I really enjoy spending time with you. I just can't help but be bothered when you talk to other people, guy or girl, for extended periods of time when we're out." If she's unsympathetic, you can then break it off with her.

[Asker]

yes a date for sure. we went for dinner and then to a party. you're right, I should have just broken it off. I was thinking, I'd show it did'nt bother me at all, and on next date, I'd be the one who leaves her and chats up other girl. give her a dose of her own medicine. In my experience, when a chick likes me, and I don't care, it makes her want me more. I want her to chase, not other way around. I might even leave her and go off with another girl. text her from car saying I'm going.. hah

[mikeb79]

Yeah, you could totally experiment. You could leave her with uncertainty as to whether you are interested in her. You could pay attention to her in an interested way, but you could make that attention sporadic and ambiguous (is he interested in me or just being friendly?).

If she's not interested, she might not care. If she is interested, she might be affected and come to you.

It could be a good way to determine whether she's still interested.

:)

[Guytalks]

I can't stand people who like to stir jealousy like that. It's immature and disrespectful. I don't have time to waste with this kind of childish game.

If I saw my date starting this kind of BS. I'd wait that she turns around and don't see me and I'd sneak out to go somewhere else. I'd just have a laugh imagining her looking for me at some point and realize I'm gone.

And if she texts me to ask me where I am, I'd tell her I thought it was appropriate to leave her alone with her date.

[michljordyn]

I feel like this is the perfect question for me to answer, considering I have done this and I've received multiple reactions and results through doing so. You just have to make sure that this was her intention - you know, to get a rise out of you.

When a girl does this, it's almost like a technique to make the guy jealous; make him want you more by proving there are other guys out there that could easily pick her up. But when the female doesn't succeed in making the guy jealous or upsetting the guy, and instead the guy looks like it hasn't even phased him, it feels uncomfortable. Because at that moment, the girl realizes that you know what she was trying to accomplish. The girl feels foolish, and maybe a tad insecure.

At that point, the girl feels like you are different than the other guys who have proven to become jealous. The girl feels weirded out by it, but something about it IS attractive. The whole "I don't give a sh*t" neutral mood that you give off.

So the girl feels foolish, maybe desperate and belittled.

But in the majority of these cases, would have a new level of respect and admiration for the guy.

Hope it all works out, and I hope I answered to everything you wanted to know. If you need any more help or clarification, comment/message! Hope I helped.

[Belgie]

That's the most honest assessment I've seen of this all-too-common situation.

[Asker]

great answer. thanks. I knew the whole I don't give a sh*t attitude is attractive to a chick !

[michljordyn]

Honesty is my thing. And yeah, too much of it can make you look like a plain jerk but hey, when it's given once in awhile, for some reason it has girls sticking around!

[purpleprincess]

Why would you even feel the need to make a guy jealous if he is already out on a date with you giving you his undivided attention?

This doesn't make sense to me. Why would you want to p**s him off if he has taken the time to break away from his guy friends to spend time with you, doesn't that tell you he likes you a lot?

This is the type of behavior that gives girls the image of playing mind games with guys. Keep trying to make him jealous by giving attention to another guy when he is seeking to only please you unconditionally for a few hours will inevitably irritate him, make him feel like your not that interested in him, and before you know it, he'll be hanging out with his guy friends whilst you sit around eating ice cream and bitching about him to your girl friends-because he's dumped you for being so aloof with him. If a guy goes out of his way to give you his undivided attention, enjoy every minute of it, it means he cares for you a lot. x

[Asker]

you think logically. you seem mature. not like most girls who think emotionally.

[PeterCobra]

Exactly

[Coffinspire]

It's a test. That's how we figure out your temperament. I'm not sure if we even realize we're doing it, but if you can sit her down and calmly explain what part of talking to another guy you didn't like, it's a good thing. If you don't care, you don't care about her, your natural instinct is to protect her and what is yours. What would p*ss us off is if you 1. Over-react and start yelling at her for talking to someone (because that is really what it is) and 2. If you didn't react at all, thus showing you don't care if she has the potential of going off with someone else.

[Drake742]

Thats a very poor way of figuring out his temperament. As a guy there are so many other better more accurate ways of determining a guys temperament.

[Asker]

so us guys are screwed. because both ways makes us look bad. if I explain calmly, it makes me look jealous and insecure.

[Coffinspire]

It works every single time. If you can be a good sport about it and let us know your limits you have nothing to worry about. We want to know what makes you uncomfortable so we know not to go there, and if we do, that you'll let us know and it's not going to turn into a breakup. Make sense?

[lost_soul]

If I was on a date, and I saw some guy I knew, I don't think I'd talk to them, id say hello in passing but that's about it but I think being on a date, I'd give the guy I was on the date attention. I don't think I'd need to make him jealous to notice or anything, being on the date proves that.

But I did try to make him jealous and he didn't care then I'd maybe assume he wasn't that interested. I'd maybe want the guy I was on the date with to make the people I was talking to "clear" I was with him

[Asker]

if he wasn't interested, he wouldn't be on a date with you in the first place

[lost_soul]

I actually had another thought about this, if the guy I was on the date with didn't care or get jealous I'd maybe take it as a good sign that he can accept I have male friends :P

And yeah, that's what's confusing, if I was on a date I wouldn't need to see if he was interested... although I think I wrote that

[Anonymous]

wow, I play those kinds of games. but I do know that my guy is totally over me and he is like that on Facebook and MySpace too. Even if other guys are talking to me, he will comment after them and talk like he owns me. I mean, seriously if he knows that I am his and I can talk to other guys like they are my guy friends then that's pretty chill you know what I mean? He's comfortable and it means he trusts me.

[Asker]

i meant like at a club or a party. if you leave him and go talk to some guy for like 15 minutes. that kinda thing.. I'm asking cause it pissed me off like hell but I kept it inside me. Didn't say anything about it. So I'm wondering how other guys would fell and a girls perspective..

[imnotsorry]

It would make me very annoyed, but I'd assume he was trying to look aloof because that's what I would do, if I saw my date talking with another woman. But if I saw that it wasn't an act and he really just didn't care, I'd lose interest.

[Asker]

what if in reaction, the guy goes and talks to other girls. I was even thinking of just leaving her there and going home alone or with another girl.

[imnotsorry]

Then I wouldn't think of going out with him again.

[leahzrc]

I try not to flirt with any guys in front of my boyfriend. the time I did flirt with a guy in front of my boyfriend, guy became my new boyfriend. I broke up with him for other reasons

[Billlewis]

@leahzrc That is so unbelievably hot...

[leahzrc]

thank you bill

[AmberChick]

If I was doing it on purpose, and not getting any reaction, I would stop talking to the guy I am trying to make my guy jealous with and talk to my guy... If that makes sense.

[Asker]

i had to read it thrice, but now it makes sense. haha

[AmberChick]

awesome

[danielle_says]

I'd feel like I didn't matter to him or like he didn't want me. I wouldn't think he was secure I'd just think he didn't like me enough to care

[Asker]

but what's you just said..wouldn't that make you want to chase him more?

[danielle_says]

true. That or I'd distance myself because I don't want to be the only one like working for someone or trying to get more interst if you know what I mean

[Asker]

i wish more girls thought like you

[danielle_says]

Awww thank you :)

[danielle_says]

Its kinda funny though cause most of the time my logic always f's up my relationships but thanks anyway lol

[Asker]

that mean you're young. it'll work in your favour in a few years. its a sign of maturity

[MyNameIsJonas]

Any woman who would try and make a man jealous is insecure. Its very unattractive to me, and only makes me feel like she is a fool.

[Billlewis]

Oh my God... I love it when a woman does this to me!

[kijnjinijn]

this would be a perfect time for you to get someone on the side. if she wants to be immature and play mind games, she's a low-quality person and should be treated as such.

[Asker]

yup, and its disrespectful too

[kijnjinijn]

i honestly hope you get someone on the side and do not spend a dime on the girl playing games. she's clearly immature and an attention whore. she's no more than a sex object (most girls are) until proven otherwise. they're never worth "working" for. or just drop that betch and don't answer her texts and calls. if you see her, try to avoid her unless she "forces" your attention, then be short and polite and say something to the effect of "i gotta run, see ya around".

[Asker]

shes pretty hot. I wanna f*** her a bunch of times then get someone on the side.

[TigerRoseBear]

F*** mind games.

[Giruei]

I don’t do that. It feels rude.