Why do some men get angry when rejected if you were just a backup?

[MissSunshine2]

I’ve had two guys react this way when I rejected them. One got a bit nasty when I ended our friendship over his leading me on for a backup plan while he was in a committed relationship and lied about being single for over a year. Until I purely coincidentally ran into him at a fast food restaurant with his girlfriend; and he was acting all guilty and scared and trying to hide from me.

The other one argued with me and got defensive after having shown me a picture of a younger, prettier woman he’d previously decided he preferred to me and still keeps popping up on dating apps.

In both cases, I left them both alone; however, I’m genuinely curious as to why they got so angry when I ended contact with them, when they never wanted me to begin with? Was it a manipulation tactic, to try to guilt and bully me into staying in touch so they could use me?

[DishLady]

Aaaaah. Sit down by me, Missy.


Many guys like to have the last word. Something about the “macho man” wiring glitches when you walk away from them. They lash out, call you names, go on and on with petty jabs till the end of time. Just like the woman who left the land of Sodom, I’ll advise you not to look back lest you turn into a pillar of salt.


Good men try to understand your reasoning. Bad/toxic men look to get even. Not all guys are the same, but when you are about to walk away from a guy make sure you’re ready for him to throw a few daggers your way. “Block & Delete” are your best friends.

[Unycorn]

Do you want to be waiting if...

Do you want to be 2. choice or 3?

I would not.

[DishLady]

Most women don’t want to be second choice bc we’re wired to want to be “first and last” choice. Out primal biological warning/sense registers what we find attractive but also what is dangerous, including a mate who looks/smells/seems in any way like he’d get us sick. (Why… many STDs, for example, take a more. Permanent hold of women even if treated (impacting reproductive health, which has always been of higher “social value” in women than in men.)

[DishLady]

Sounds odd Burris true.

So I want to be some guys’s second choice? No but most guys have had someone before they land the person they want to be with… so those statistics aren’t on our side.

[DishLady]

*but it’s true. Sorry, spellcheck zapped my answer….

[Summeroflove]

Well all men are different some men can move on with their lives. Using someone as a backup is narcissistic behavior and it’s about their ego more than it is about really caring about the other person.

When you hurt someone who’s immature their ego they have a deep sense of entitlement especially if they’re used to manipulating people and don’t get told no.

People who are narcissistic can dish it but they cannot take it. Just remember that…. it’s about their ego.

[William7489]

Well, in all fairness think about it. The poor guy has struck out with his first choice and gotten shot down by a second. He probably thinks he’ll never get to get together with a girl in his life and he’s probably pissed off. But I know what you’re saying. It’s disrespectful to just assume that your second choice will be grateful for you. It just doesn’t work like that.

[exitseven]

Nobody like to be rejected. Some guys take it better than others. I used to look at it as just a part of life.

[YourExLover69]

Because their ego is hurt. It's called male ego. Guys you left were players with anger issues. 😶

[AngryCarl3]

As men we like to consider ourselves rational but that all goes out of the window when romantic relationships are involved.

[Abinav_K]

If I ever sense that a girl I want sees me as a backup, I go unreachable from that moment.
I don’t get angry or make a scene, I just simply move on. I never settle for less than what I desire, and I’m 100% arrogant about that.

[AgentG111]

They got caught. They had their cake and were eating it until they were found out.

[MasterKS]

they feels like they get hard kick on their balls! LOL