Great first date but his wandering eyes bothered me—red flag?

[Anonymous]

I [27F] was attached to him [35M] on the 1st date from Bumble. He made a reservation at nice restaurant, Ubered for me. While eating, he told me I had lipstick on my chin and proceeded to keep softly wiping my chin with a napkin where I felt a sexual tension. The only problem was that he kept looking at the table behind me, which was a table of girls. I felt like he was flirty making eye contact with a girl. He SAW that I saw him looking. He looked, I looked back; and he was looking at me. It felt almost intentional. I didn’t expect to see him again because I thought he might not be interested and wandering eyes red flag for me. He paid everything, we stepped out the restaurant he pulled me by my arm and kissed me. It was very unexpected but he was a great kisser. While we were kissing, he held me by my butt and pushed me closer to him. Then my Uber pulled up and I left. Before and aftee the kiss he asked me date on Jazz bar (which I like) I said I'm busy this weekend (excuse) He texted me a day later "How's dinner tonight?" Any thoughts?

[Summeroflove]

Well it’s a first date so just remember that. It seems a little too over the top for a first date personally for me so sometimes it signals someone trying to jump into things too fast. Not saying that it’s bad to do something nice for someone. But very nice restaurant meeting a complete stranger from the internet…. Frankly I’ve never seen it end well.

I’m not saying something can’t come of it. But if it feels too sexual and you’re uncomfortable. Just don’t go on a second date. Seems like that’s all he’s after anyways is cheap sex. You’re probably one of tons of women he’s done this too. He seems like he’s experienced in it

[William7489]

Sure, let things breathe. Could it be a red flag yes. He could be boldly and openly staring at other women in front of you and flirting. Perhaps however he worked with one or more of them or knew them from school or some other way? You describe a lot of good chemistry between you too. I would say give it another chance and be observant. If you notice the same kind of behavior just politely ask Him “do you know those people?“ Or something like that. It sounds like it has potential so I would at least give it another shot. You can always walk out halfway through if things are bad.

[AviatorTom]

Speaking as a guy, we all look... sometimes. My wife sometimes points out attractive women that I may not have noticed. That his eyes came back to you is a good sign. I wouldn't consider his looking at others a red flag... yet. Go on the second date and see what happens. You'll have a better idea then.

Remember... there's nothing wring with looking. It's what might happen more than that.

[Truthatanycost]

This guy is saying all of the right things and doing what is required in order to acquire sex. He has no interest in anything else but deep down you already know this. However, due to his smoothness, attractiveness and emotional intelligence, you are trying to find reasons to ignore all of the redflags. His wandering eyes are a redflag but few guys even understand how much wandering eyes can cause problems, not just for any relationships, but life itself. If you continue entertaining, seeing or responding to this guy, you will only invite problems into your life.

[OneViewpoint]

He definitely wants you sexually. More than that? Impossible to tell. Dude sounds like a player. Forget about the flirty bullshit and the kiss. How was he at holding up his end of a conversation? Any depth or was he 100% focused on getting your panties off?

[Asker]

He said He said "I have substance" "I have soft hands" "I'm soft spoken"
I wasn't really sure about him; He asked me for the 2nd date 3 times. Before kiss, after the kiss and text other day "How's dinner tonight?"

I said I'm busy "I'll be out of town" (excuse) He insisted "Will you stay overnight" I said yes. Then "When are you leaving" I said Friday. He said "Let's go on Thursday then"...

[OneViewpoint]

He's a player.

[Asker]

So? What am I supposed to do?

[OneViewpoint]

You're supposed to decide what YOU want and act accordingly. Do you wanna bang the player for some quick fun and validation? Do you want a "relationship" and a boyfriend? Is this guy husband material? Are you up for a friends with benefits situation? Or do you want to skip the eventual drama that comes with a player on Bumble?

There is no wrong answer as long as it's your choice.

[Asker]

Beside this red flag, I was attached to him, he had a good career and manners. He said I have substance, I'm soft spoken also the kiss was good tbh

[OneViewpoint]

Once again, the guy is trying way too hard and trying to be way too smooth. He's rushing things. He's desperate to get his dick wet in your pussy. If that's what you want too, then cool. If not, cool. You decide.

[MrChinaski]

People that have substance don't say 'I have substance'.

[Asker]

@MrChinaski I didn't say I have substance. He complimented me by saying I have substance

[MrChinaski]

My misinterpretation. I thought he said it about himself.

[Asker]

@MrChinaski No he said I have substance and I'm soft spoken

[Staximus]

I agree with Oneviewpoint, the guy sounds like a player and you're falling for his bullshit

[Staximus]

Why the hell would he keep looking at the girls at the other table? Because he's a shit bag or trying to make you jealous. When I'm on a date, I ignore all other women. This is a guy who will have sex with other women when you're not around or will cheat on you. If you're just looking for sex and stds then go ahead. If you want a real relationship then forget about this fuckboy.

[Staximus]

I don't know why the hell you would call that a great first date

[bowenw]

His wandering eyes are a red flag and in my opinion he was a little forward with the chin wiping, kissing and holding your butt. On the other hand if you liked all that it may be worth a second date.

[HighValue]

When in a relationship, do you delete all of your social media? If not, then don't you look at others too the whole time?

[MrChinaski]

Walk. Not because he did anything wrong. Rather because life is too short to spend with people that can't be bothered attending to you.

[Jeff51]

Try a 2nd date. Hope he dont look at others. Sounds like date went good.

[msc545]

Keep trying, I guess.

[Asker]

With him or without him?

[Tomislav7]

Ooooh 1st date dish, i hope we get a ep2

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he might only want ine thing

[beefcakebradybatson]

Is he trying anything with these lasses?

[Anonymous]

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