He asked me on a first date what I’d feel about dating someone who is in contact w their ex. red flag?

[anonbrunette99]

He also spoken about her a fair bit

[Keyboardkat]

Be careful. It sounds like he's not yet emotionally free of her, and that means he's not really emotionally available to you or anyone else. Rebound is a real phenomenon. And it causes people to start a new relationship, to latch onto someone new to comfort themselves. The new relationship is like using the new person as a band-aid. But then when they're feeling better, they are likely to discard the band-aid, and that could really hurt the new person. I've seen this happen several times. This is why they tell someone coming out of a divorce or a breakup to NOT DATE ANYONE for at least six months, possible a year, as long as it takes them to grieve and mourn over their loss and to heal.

Don't be a victim. Maybe you should tell him, "I think you're a great guy, but I don't think you're ready, and I don't want to be your band-aid. Call me when you're really over her and ready to focus on me!"

[anonbrunette99]

I don’t know how to tell him as he isn’t flirting with me our conversation is just neutral and friendly he hasn’t even asked me about our date this weekend. Perhaps I can just stop responding and if he asks why I can provide him with my own version of the explanation example you have provided

[Tommy789]

If He is in contact with His Ex because they have Kids together then chances are You don't have anything to worry about, otherwise I understand Your concern.

[anonbrunette99]

They don’t have any kids together! I don’t know if I should explain to him or just stop responding to him. It’s best I do it sooner than later so I don’t get more invested

[Tommy789]

If they don't have kids together then there shouldn't be a reason He is talking to Hís Ex, Í would say pass on him

[HighValue]

People should not have any contact with an ex unless they had kids together and need to for custody reasons. It is almost always harmful to their future relationships.

[RealMarek]

There are men without these complications. I recommend moving on.

[anonbrunette99]

Should I let him know or just ignore him and move on?

[RealMarek]

I would just say you don’t think the two of you are a match and move on.

[Mark987]

He asked you that on the first date? that is weird. A first date should be getting to know each other. Not asking about previous ex's. That is a red flag for me

[FilmGuy93]

Of course that's a red flag. At least he's telling you though.

[fred_durst]

yeah , u are mostly likely would ended up become rebound

[anonbrunette99]

How would you suggest I explain this to him or am I better to simply stop responding to the conversation

[Anonymous]

Didn't you previously date a dude who was super into his ex? Or is this the same guy?

[anonbrunette99]

Different guy! But yea I did

[Opinion Owner]

I love how you never learn from experience! It's hilarious!

[anonbrunette99]

It’s hilarious that I trust that not every guy is the same and not to judge them on my past experiences?

[Opinion Owner]

It's true that not every guy is the same--absolutely. But the guys that YOU are attracted to aren't random! lol! And they share a LOT of similarities! Your inability to learn from experience IS hilarious! It's kinda like watching a cartoon!

[MrCommodore]

Yes red flag, he is still hooked on her.

[Andres77]

He’s not over her

[dudeinohio]

Pass on him.

[TallAnon]

Yeah, red flag

[Emmazdu]

Boy bye

[anonbrunette99]

Would you suggest ignoring him or should I explain I don’t think anything would work between us and explain why?

[Emmazdu]

Whatever you think might work better for you and on how long you are dating and knowing each other.. There is a chance that he'll try to convince you otherwise.. If it was nothing serious, you don't owe him an explanation. Or you could tell him, but say it in a way it leaves no room for him to explain or convince you otherwise