Is this a lot of history or normal?

[Anonymous]

A 28 year old girl who has been in 3 relationships and had another 3 relationships that were only short like a couple months. Had s*x with 3 guys and done some s*xual things with the others.

Is that normal or quite a lot of history?

Not sure

That’s high

Quite high

It’s normal

It’s low

[HollyK21]

I’d say her history is in the past. She had a life before you and that’s what’s normal. If you can’t accept her history then find someone with something you approve of more.

[Asker]

I don’t have much history I guess I just don’t understand how a girl could go through that many guys is that really normal?

[HollyK21]

The idea of normalcy, in my opinion, isn’t exactly linear. It’s a broad spectrum and applies differently to each of us as individuals. Sure we can share some generalized ideations about this or that, but at the end of the day we all think differently. That’s why while you may not consider having a high body count normal, someone else would say it’s unusual to have less experience (or none at all) by a certain age.

I’d also say perspective matters, because unless anything in her past is impacting you (like sexual health), then why does it matter? Do you fear she’s more experienced, or that you won’t live up to who she’s been with in the past since you don’t have much history? Because in that case, I’d say this is more of a personal problem to overcome.

Like if you fear inadequacy, remind yourself that the goal isn’t to please or impress every woman, just one. And if she’s the right one then she’s not going to care about your history because she will be more focused on the present and future. She will know that you guys can work to understand each others needs and how to satisfy one another specifically, because that’s what it would be about. Like what felt good for Jenna, Tracy and whomever else in the past does not mean that’ll be the case for Emma.

[Asker]

I guess it’s like if she’s been with many guys it’s just meaningless I’m just a number even if I’m the most perfect guy out there. I guess I don’t want to think other men have been near my woman. I kind of care and don’t care about it at the same time. It’s not like I’m looking for a virgin.

[HollyK21]

Respectfully I don’t think that mindset of “it’s just meaningless” is very true or fair. Most women do not go into getting to know the guy with the intention of just having meaningless sex. Hell, most women don’t go into hooking up thinking it’s just gonna wind up being for nothing more than pleasure. Plenty of women date, and they do so hoping that the connection amounts to something.

In most cases, if you were to interview some women and ask about each guy they hooked up with, I’m willing to bet that these were guys they liked, loved, wanted to date, wanted to marry, and ultimately nothing became of it. They weren’t just bedhopping. You say you aren’t looking for a virgin, but essentially you are because you don’t want any man to have ever touched your woman and if she’s had past experiences then you’d judge, think less of or vilify her altogether. Ultimately if you can’t move past your feelings surrounding a woman’s past then you’d be best served waiting for a virgin and just hope you two connect. But usually it’s one or the other, and your chances of having this exact experience are pretty slim. Obviously that’s not to say it wouldn’t or couldn’t happen.

[Anonymous]

It's a lot for the length of time we're talking about yes. It SHOULD give you pause. The avg. woman has about 4 to 5 sexual partners in her entire lifetime. Don't let anyone try to convince more is "normal", it's not! But @HollyK21 is sort of right in the sense that you need to be determining whether she's a good woman that has made some very bad choices to date. Or if this is a pattern of behavior for her. Also, lets say you were to date and get serious about this woman. Would you really want to have kids with a woman that makes such poor choices?

You're doing the RIGHT thing to be discerning about her history my man.👍💯

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

At 28, my history matched hers, and, looking around me, I really didn't feel like I was doing anything exceptional lol. More like the perfectly standard-ish average development

[Nikki1989]

You are not being serious, I hope. Only three by the age of 28? Most people have had three relationships by the age of 18... at least.

[Asker]

Not correct

[Asker]

Maybe slags have

[Calyptomaniac]

"has been in 3 relationships" plus "another 3 relationships"... ok, that's called 6...

I th*nk th*t *s pr*tty n*ormal, wh*t *s n*t n*ormal *s act*ng l*ke w* c*n't us* th* w*rd s*x *r s*exual

[Alex-Snow]

It is ok to type the word SEX on here. Anyway it sounds normal to me. Everyone is different.

[NathanDavis]

you're going to be insecure either way...

[Anonymous]

Not at all