Why do men act so into me at first and then just vanish without explanation?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Okay, so I used to be afraid and avoidant of relationships, but kind of got tired of being alone and after a long distance relationship failed, I tried to finally give a chance to something close to me, shortly was seeing one man for about a month and it faded away without transforming into anything…

Then I decided to become an influencer on Chinese Platform , because my content often grabs interest , it’s just I always posted them for my close circle of friends, and not publicly…

So I started posting there and in a month reached about 5K, which is pretty nice for the month old account. Because Attention is an asset and why not make profits of it? So far I post travel content

Many people texted me and including them was another Infouencer and a Corporate Lawyer, handsome and funny as hell… I thought maybe this time, I can give it a try, so when he asked me out I went out to see him, just 3 times and then my brother came to visit me and I had a family trip with him. That guy texted me he missed me and all, and texted me everyday, telling me he couldn’t wait to meet me again and bla bla, don’t know what happened though, he suddenly disappeared 🤣

I don’t know what I am doing wrong but I seem to be doing something wrong…

Updates

1 mo

Update about both guys, the German guy I was seeing shortly is still single and every weekend going either to Thailand or Malaysia 😁
The second guy I was seeing shortly, I hurt my finger on our last date, because I got hit with the basketball we were playing, and my finger got swollen a little, he was attentive on a date, but after a date even though he texted me daily, he never once remembered my finger. So while I blame myself, maybe it’s not all about me and they weren’t the kind I’d want..

Updates

1 mo

To all the amebas out here thinking I had sex with them and they lost interest… No… They invited me over and I didn’t go…
I’m pretty proud that once I have sex with someone they don’t ever leave… I was the one to break up first each time, due to very fair reasons. As for new dates, I don’t want a man to be with me just for the sake of sex… So I wait to see if they like my personality… Takes time. If they don’t wanna get to know my soul, they don’t deserve knowing what made my bfs addicted to me

Updates

1 mo

Update - He came back of course and I am not proud of it, but I ghosted this time.

[bobalife]

First, don’t mind the men prejudgment that you must slept with him for him to poof. Because reality is everyone are in different circumstances. Even if you did sleep with them, it doesn’t need to be so shameful. We are in 2026, your body, your choice. Just me being a girl’s girl.

I don’t know the details of each situation. However, what I can say is instead of thinking “what’s wrong with me?” Or “what did I do wrong?” I think it’s okay to accept that sometimes things just didn’t work out and you guys drift apart. It could be many reasons… maybe the spark and thrill disappeared.. he found someone else.. maybe you guys weren’t as compatible as you think initially… maybe you both have diff needs… maybe he actually just wanna entertain it and not a real commitment… maybe an exgf came back… etc. the thing about ghosting is that it can be for multiple reasons and we won’t know unfortunately.


But all you gotta know is that it’s okay it didn’t work out and there will be someone else for you :) And if you feel like there are things you wanna work on yourself, it’s always good to be open and give yourself space to grow as well.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thanks…💓 I didn’t really sleep with any of them though… I feel like I prefer to wait a little, 1 month is too short for me… I need some trust and security before I sleep with them… Now I feel like maybe that’s why none went further? But is not 1 month just too short?

The thing is both guys told me from the beginning they were looking for something long term and even if someone else came along or the ex came back, I feel a little hurt, that I seem to not have never been their first choice?

And feel like what’s the point of even going out to meet any guys anymore …

Both were nice people, especially the last one… Made me laugh so hard…

And with both of my previous relationships failing, I feel that maybe the problem is in me?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know what to work on, I have been seeing a therapist for over a year, just so I can be a better person. Not diagnosed with anything.

But I guess… I am still who I am.

[bobalife]

It’s okay, anyone in your shoes would feel just as confuse, disappointed, or hurt. It’s a natural reaction if we met someone we think we are hitting it off with and they appeared charming. How you feel is all very valid. It’s easy to wonder and think, did I do something wrong or what’s wrong with me? Etc.

If you truly feel like everything went well and there’s no red flags, then, there is a high possibility they couldn’t wait for intimacy. No woman should feel bad if we were not ready, yknow? But I also don’t want you to think that’s soley the reason it did not work out. It’s all speculation and just a high possibility. There could be numerous reasons why someone ghosted. I can even say I’ve ghosted men a long time ago because I was scare and avoidant too
Aka I was not ready.

I would advice you to take away what did you learn from these experiences? Instead of thinking “what did I do wrong?” Flip the script, “is this the kind of man or relationship I want/need who left with no communication?” Etc. My friends always remind me that they clearly do not have good communication to ghost. Something to think about and remember YOU & your standards are important to hold onto.

It’s definitely frustrating and hurtful when someone we really like or hope it works out did not work… but just remember he’s just one person. Your right person for you would’ve stayed & worked it out. It’s okay to take breaks from dating if it’s becoming overwhelming and stressful.

Relationships, it’s a toughie.. I’m not the best expert in relationships, but my personal opinion is that two people plays a role and two people can always reflect on space of growth and what we seek/need.

I think that’s a great and brave step to do therapy! Do you feel like it’s helpful? Or you need a new therapist? Or are you doing the work in therapy? Often people forget that /we/ need to take on our role to do the work in therapy and finding the right fit for our services. I hope this all helps! :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t know I feel like Of O had sex with them the very first month and they ended up disappearing I would probably be more hurt and they might have stuck around longer actually probably, but would I really want a man to stay just because of sex? They are attractive and can get sex anywhere I think.

I also don’t understand, we had chemistry, but do women really have sex so soon with men that men give up just after 3 dates if you don’t have sex with them?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think they both disappeared after I hinted that I’d like a slower pace, they were hinting to sex and I told them I like to take things slow…

I didn’t mean I liked them to disappear haha, maybe I would be faster, if they actually stuck around after hearing that I like to take things slow, because that would raise my trust…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

P. S. Thanks for the lovely and supportive messages!

[bobalife]

Girl, why worry about that type of men who will only stick around if they get to sleep with us by at least 3 dates or a month? Once we clock that… you’ll realize he’s honestly just another guy playing the game and not for you. Think about what you want… you don’t want that for a relationship… so those type of men isn’t for you. And that’s okay, focus on who you really want and need instead. When you remember your standards and values, you’ll look back and realize you dodge a bullet tbh. I never wanna look behind me… and just look ahead of who’s worthy of my time & heart.

It is annoying and frustrating to feel mislead by those type of guys & there’s not much committed men available. I rather someone just tell me directly they are not looking for anything serious than playing games with my heart and mind. But sadly not everyone is forward and have good intentions.

in my opinion a good looking guy is just another guy lol. Most guys would hook up with someone naturally. I rather just focus on the quality of a man and if we are align for building a relationship.

[bobalife]

Right, it’s important you go by your pacing and you did a great job communicating it! Stay with whatever pacing you feel comfortable, I don’t think there’s no right or wrong in my opinion. But what truly matters is how you feel and what you want. I hope you don’t feel bad for addressing your comfortability and what matters to you. Like if that’s the real reasons they left… they’re not worth your time, heart, and body.

And to answer your question, no, a woman who need to give her body to keep someone’s interest at the beginning isn’t really for a good guy or someone who’s worthy to be with. I have friends who waited a long time to have intimacy and they’re now married with their person lol. The right guy would respect you, your choice, and pacing.

[bobalife]

Your welcome, I hope you take time and feel better soon🤗 I know some of the things I said is tough to hear and it takes time to process it while you’re healing. Just remember you are worthy and you dodge a bullet!

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Thank you, it really makes me feel better 💓 I just wonder maybe there are other reasons and I am just not that likeable? Because both of those guys had long term relationships before

[bobalife]

Yay I’m glad 💓 It’s always easy to blame ourselves, but just remember they’re even lucky they went on a date with you sheesh🙂‍↔️🙂‍↕️😂 Like as good looking women who has good intentions, good careers, and we have options… like we/chose/ to give our time and effort to even go on a date with them and invest time/emotions. Like our time is precious 💅🏻💅🏻💅🏻 we only wanna give that to someone who seems worthy and those guys are not worthy girl. You gotta remember you’re valuable and what you have to offer. There are so many good looking men with good careers that we can even easily have chemistry with.. but if they can’t treat you right and not align with you… nexxxxt😂💅🏻 gotta laugh it out and roll with it lol. Once you clock everything, he’s just another guy and he didn’t even make it to boyfriend status tbh lol.

[bobalife]

And if someone did not stick around because they didn’t like you for who you are… he’s just not it sis. Sometimes, we do gotta work on ourselves. Other times, they’re just not the right person. There just needs to have a good balance. But the right guy will like you for you and vice versa. I can not imagine myself being with someone who doesn’t like me for me. It’s okay, we all get self conscious and wanna be like by someone we like. But loving yourself and having someone love you for who you are is more important. There’s so many girls I can just see right away who pretends to be a certain way or play games to get guys attention or be liked.. but a guy is just liking a false idea of them. Same goes for guys lol. Overall, I’m trying to say just be yourself and the right person will come around :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I needed those words! 💝🫂

[bobalife]

❤️🤗

[Marriage_Survivor]

Therapists, especially female ones, are not good for you.

They give terrible advice.

Just find a nice, average man, and be nice to him.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

You’re telling me I am not picky enough? I usually date very hot guys and they are usually the ones who get women after them all the time, I don’t chase though

[Still-alive]

ignore him. he's a troll trying to get a rise out of you lol

[RavVid]

Well the truth is 'she gets me hard' is the initial motivator and what happens from there depends on whether the guy is looking for a good time or a relationship.

The Good Time guy is indeed likely to move on very quickly. Novelty is a big factor here.

The relationship guy has a lot more to think about. 'She gets me hard' is just the starting point in this case but we tend to think of her being angelic and perfect for us.

We do put girls on pedestals of feminine perfection and the problem is she is a real girl who is imperfect. When a flaw is revealed, the desire can be lost. This has happened to me.

It is scarcely your fault because that lies in my idealization of you. It is not my fault either for having an image of what I want in a girl. It is more one of those real world mismatches. Could have been a hot couple in another world.

A girl has to give value to man as well as the vice versa. The only area where you could be going wrong is if you aren't showing there is value in you to the guy. Some girls even seem to think they don't have to have any value. Make sure you are not one of those.

Have you thought about what value you would bring a man? That is your value proposition. We like feminine peaceful calm, respect, caring. Everybody likes humor.

Aside from the first reason you may not have developed your value proposition.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

How do I show there is value?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Maybe I was too teasing to them and a bit of sarcastic? But that’s part of my personality before I open up and become my soft version. But that’s the part I don’t like to show on 2nd or a 3rd date, I am just having fun and taking it slow.

[RavVid]

Well I exercise dark dry Australian humor and I don't think it is funny if it is signaled so I see the problem with sarcastic. Maybe smile as you say it? Sarcasm can be a backhanded compliment or it can come across as constant criticism finding fault and it can tire. Respect is important to men; we'd rather be respected than loved. It could be a problem if there is too much of the later.

Girls have 5 foolscap pages of closely written pages of value adds they want from a man but guys have about 5 lines.

Genuinely nice is major for me because it is an umbrella of good qualities: considerate, cooperative, not disputatious and family oriented because that is the end game. And it is sort of observable.

Peaceful and calm are qualities most men want. We don't want to come home to chaos and arguments.

I don't how this works but some girls seem to be with you more than other girls. Like you can be alone with someone at a party. Their focus is entirely on you and you get the impression they will bond with you. In the inverse, a couple of times I thought myself lucky the girl left the cafe with me.

Maybe you should open up your soft version earlier? I guess you are protecting your self earlier but fortune favors the brave.

Still you can't be a chameleon and be exactly right for every guy but if you have the feminine virtues that men want there are guys who will want you.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

In my first relationship my ex broke my shell and I became such a soft and a kind person I couldn’t recognize myself anymore… For 3.5 years I was a changed person really very soft, like all my defenses were off and I was myself…

He started hurting me continually and tried to provoke me, I forgave and forgave him, one day he told me “I loved your version that was devilish, I’ve changed you, now you are the kindest person I know… And I feel like I will hurt you forever, because that’s just who I am…”

Then he kept doing the same and eventually we broke up and he told me “I broke you… “

I think he broke me free, he though saw my softness and peace as a weakness because he fell in love with me when I was hard as a crab.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Since then I was also very kind to my second boyfriend, but he kept testing my boundaries too and we had a massive fight at the end and he eventually moved on to someone who he initially left for me, but then moved on back to her, saying she was peaceful and didn’t need much …

[RavVid]

Hmmh. It is possibly a problem to have one personna initially and to have another that comes out later in a relationship. I would appreciate a woman who was kind and treat her kindly. In fact it is a characteristic that attracts me and my underlying thought is 'she is kind AND gets me hard'.

The kindness I see is a strong part of the initial attraction is my point. If I more wanted to tame a woman, I would possibly be attracted to a more feisty persona. I might be physically attracted to a woman with a feisty personality but not go there because I am put off by the likely firey interactions we will have that I don't want to have.

I'm kinda thinking your initial persona is attracting the wrong kind of guys for your underlying nature. You would be better matched to a guy who values your kindness and who returns it without seeing how far your boundaries can extend.

If you end up as soft loving and kind you would be better off projecting those from the beginning I am thinking.

[exitseven]

I reallly do not know you personally but I have been reading your posts for a while. You seem to live a very interesting life. You seem to be well travelled and live a pretty opulent lifestyle. You seem to date mostly rich guys and maybe put too much emphasis on what people do instead of who they are.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

These two weren’t that rich actually… Just average guys who have nice work.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I do not really live a luxurious life, I have one little studio in the city center and that’s it’s

[exitseven]

I remember when I was dating , of course the dinosaurs still roamed the earth but I used to meet girls that I would find physically attractive and somehow get them to go out with me. After that it it would turn into a big chore to be with them. They were just hard to talk to and hard to relate to.
I found a couple of girls that were just a good fit for me. Maybe this is hard to describe but maybe you will know it when you find it.
You seem to be a very interesting person but I don't think we have much in common. Try to figure out what your interests are and try to gravitte towards that.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I get what you mean… Maybe I am not that easy to relate to, I am kind of intense and too idealistic and always lost in my thoughts

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I like going out with people and actually do some activities more than deep talks… Not because I cannot have deep talks, but because I can have VERY deep ones and don’t want it.

But I also maybe am not that fun, most girls are fun I think.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My interests are - Travel, Pottery, Movies, Horse Riding, Painting, Retro Music, writing… Poetry… Psychology… Going out with my friends and I am up to literally any adventure.
All too intense I guess haha

[exitseven]

Retro music? Like from the 70s/

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

50s,60s and 70s too… more of 50-60s

[exitseven]

@lafemmefatale_1 who do you like? I think the decade 1965-1975 was the best

[Marriage_Survivor]

What do you consider an "average" income to be?

[ElenaSeluna]

You’re probably not doing anything wrong…you’re finally opening up instead of avoiding relationships, and that’s already a huge step.

And honestly, people disappearing after acting very interested is super common now. It usually says more about their inconsistency than your value…

Also, yes.. a lot of guys lose interest when everything feels too easy or available too fast. Some “losers” will absolutely enjoy the attention, chase, and validation, then disappear once they feel they “got” you…but that doesn’t mean you have to become cold or fake hard to get if that’s not who you are…

The right person won’t lose interest just because you were warm, friendly, and genuine…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Who is the right person and where is he? 🤣

[ElenaSeluna]

That was hilarious 😆
Well.. he is out there somewhere.. he’ll find you eventually 😄

[Lesbologist]

Do you vet them or just throw your legs open and hope they stick around? I know that question sounds harsh, but I've seen a lot of women not be clear about what they want and just let any crush slip in and waste their time. You also have to become skilled at recognizing guys that just want to fuck and will simply say whatever you want to hear, so that you can shut that down before it starts.

If you're a headache for men, that's another reason they won't stick around. Just something to think about.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t have sex with either one of them…

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

A man has never left me after we had sex… The thing is first 2-3 times of meeting them I am teasing and maybe a little of a cynic… Actually I am quite romantic but they all leave before finding that out.

[Lesbologist]

But you made it clear that you leave them, cut them off... didn't even give them play. I think you answered your own question. I'm just being honest... If I went out with a chick and she just shut me down in every direction... I'd just back out of the situation. There is other chicks that actually want my penis in her vagina and I'm obviously wasting my time.

I think my last sentence probably applies the most.. a headache for men. You're not giving it up... so, I'm guessing all you offer is challenge and that's not making their life easier.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

My ex bf’s said I am the most sexual and high libido woman they have had, but I just don’t like to have sex with any men I am going out with, on a 3rd time… It’s too early… And I feel like I’d rather get to know them as a person first, But if they had a little more patience, they would find out … That’s the problem… I told both of them I wanted to take things just a little bit slower… If they agreed instead of vanishing that would have boult up my trust.

When you are an attractive woman with a high libido you have to control it, you give it up on every third date and boom! There will be nothing left of you soon.
Every man will just be that, a man. No love, no romance, no feelings, it will be easy to discard them and someday you get married and that man will be nobody special for you, just another guy.

[Lesbologist]

There is nothing wrong with your strategy of holding out on the boom boom for a bit. But how fun are you to be around without that?

That's what I'm really trying to point out. I mean I hang out with people in general and they're just fun... no sex at all. What I imagine is you challenge the shit out of them. They get tired of it and back out.

Am I making any sense or I'm just 100% wrong and should sewer slide out? Ask yourself if you're agreeable on anything or just so contrarian that even a misspelled text message and be a point of contention.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Yeah I kind of am challenging

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I just mainly tease and use sarcasm , but that’s all before you get closer to me then I am really sweet

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He himself told me on a date that he thinks many men might just give up because I am so smart, but he likes challenges 🤣

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not smart at all, if I was smart I ‘d not be challenging

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Now I feel guilty… I should maybe have been kinder to him, but I thought we were both having fun

[Lesbologist]

Look woaman... ir you want it... keep trying. You don't just give up like that. You just keep trying and it is most likey to work out.

[Coden7]

I haven’t read down all the responses so this may have been hashed already. But maybe you weren’t responding enough or something else that came off like you weren’t as interested as he was. Maybe he decided he didn’t like the idea of you being an influencer and just didn’t say anything.


It sort of sounds like the root cause may have just been poor quality communication. Some his fault, some maybe your fault. There could be other symptoms mentioned, but communication seems to be the issue.

[Iron_Man]

Because they want sex and if you’re not offering them sex they’re gonna leave. unfortunately many men think that way that’s what your experiencing

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why do they expect sex after 2-3 dates?

[Iron_Man]

They shouldn’t do that, but unfortunately, a lot of men are looking for sex and if they don’t get anything soon they leave. I’ve heard a lot of stories, but I don’t do that myself.

[Iron_Man]

But don’t give in to them don’t give them sex real men will stay around if they love you even if they don’t get sex

[Iron_Man]

If you don’t give them sex if they stay round, then they are a keeper and also you have to be compatible with them and get along and have a lot in common.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But then I feel like maybe it’s the problem that they don’t stay after 3 dates and don’t feel like waiting a little longer?

I don’t plan to have sex any sooner than I am comfortable, but I keep feeling so disappointed like don’t want to go on dates at all anymore.

[Iron_Man]

Where are you meeting these men dating Apps or at work?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Some approach me randomly, in a restaurant, or on a street, some approach me online. I was active on a dating app too, but not anymore. Too many matches , too low quality of relationships.

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you try church to meet a nice gentleman?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am not very religious 😁 I’d probably scare them away 🤣

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Check out my update

[Iron_Man]

Well, church is your best possibility and I can work with you on it Christianity. That’s the way to go. You’re a nice person and I’m sincere with you. I saw your update. How’s it going with the guy that was involved with your swollen finger?

[Iron_Man]

Well church is your best possibility and I can work with you on it Christianity. That’s the way to go. You’re a nice person and I’m sincere with you. I saw your update. How’s it going with the guy that was involved with your swollen finger?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He stopped initiating after 3 dates and I am not going to beg him.

[Iron_Man]

OK, you’re gonna have to start fresh with somebody else then. Sorry about the double post sometimes that happens. I just sent it one time.

[Marriage_Survivor]

Because you are going for men with a lot of options, and you are in leftover woman territory.

Sorry if that sounds harsh.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

@Marriage_Survivor I was always like that from 18-25, I was in silly territory. Why don’t you fuck off with your tiny dick? Too bad that even 90 yo wouldn’t fuck you?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Listen leftover dick, spread your small dick energy elsewhere. I am not here to contaminate my day with some failure who couldn’t even get his own wife satisfied. You couldn’t get it up and that’s why she left? I bet she has been fooling around with guys my age huh?

[demonics]

Isn't that the rule as created by women a la Sex and The City?

[Curiously_Connected]

In my experience, a guy who’s texting you constantly while away, especially while you’re with other people, combined with not remembering something crucial like your finger, is very bad news. Congratulate yourself on dodging a bullet. The constant texting was to make sure you were always thinking of him. Other similar techniques are to make “your” song a popular song so you’ll hear it all the time and thus think of him all the time , and to make relationship milestones on birthdays and holidays so that, again, you’re always thinking of him, even when it’s over. He wasn’t as interested in you as much as he wanted you obsessed with him. And that means there is nothing wrong with you. Those guys aren’t truly into you because they’re not into anyone. They don’t like themselves enough to like anyone else.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

What are the conversations like? Do you notice them changing in similar ways to each guy? For example are you becoming more comfortable with them and then they leave?

I talked to a girl who as soon as she got comfortable with you, she'd start talking a mile a minute. To the point she was tripping over her own thoughts. I think it was an anxious thing.

[daveed_D]

Honestly, that is so frustrating and I've totally been through that exact same disappearing act before, dude. Like, everything is going amazingly well, they're texting everyday, and then boom—just total radio silence out of nowhere, not gonna lie. I mean, congrats on the 5K followers though, that's awesome, but sometimes guys get weird or intimidated when a girl starts gaining a lot of public attention.

[Mark_Est]

Cause you aren't a wife material. And they find that out after a while. Men value fit feminine friendly virgin women. If you are a modern woman insteas then why should men want you? Its like for straight men to date men. Nothing appealing. The men might look at you and you look decent visually so they look deeper and are dissapointed at what they see.

[relativelyamerican]

Lemme guess, you’re single? This is the absolute worst answer I’ve possibly seen here. It’s just completely and totally wrong. It’s wrong on several different levels actually. Just to begin with, not all men value the things you’re claiming they do. Many men are into women who wouldn’t be classified as being fit. I’m not even sure how to define feminine, but I assume you mean the stereotype of femininity. If so, you’re wrong here too. Many men don’t actually fit the stereotype of masculinity and appreciate someone who has a mixture of both archetypes. Beyond that, let’s look at the other 2 factors you listed. Men value a woman who is ‘friendly’ and a ‘virgin’. I feel like I shouldn’t even have to say this, but I guess I do…

I am not always friendly and I love to have sex. I don’t expect my partner to be friendly all the time because that’s just not how people work at all. I also would like it if my partner enjoyed having sex as well so we could do so relatively often. Most people have to have had sex to know they like it. Also, it’s a huge double standard to expect someone else to be a virgin when I am doubting you expect both parties to have waited (maybe I’m wrong on this one and if so, I stand corrected on my assumption) so how is it not a problem for you to have not been a virgin but it’s an issue if she isn’t?

But as if those issues weren’t enough on their own, the support you give for the statement is just ludicrously irrelevant.

Plenty of ‘modern women’ have men they are with. Plenty of men find those women appealing. And why would they want them? Aside from looks of course; companionship, affection, love, shared interests, or any one of a thousand other things would answer this for you.

It’s also not the most important thing, but how on earth is straight men dating men in any way an apt comparison in this situation?

[Mark_Est]

Dude, you are a cuck, not a man. No man thinks that his woman should get f'd by other men so they could relate more. What utter nonsense.

No, i have been with my good virgin wife for 16 years now.

All societies throughout human history have valued fit feminine virgin women. Even now all data points to that the most attractive womem are around 23 years old, fit, feminine, friendly and virgins.

It's rooted in basic biology. Women look for protection and provisioning from their man, to ensure their survival and their offsprings survival. Men look for fertility and sexual purity to ensure that the offspring is theirs and thus their gene can pass on. Read a book for once. Start with The selfish gene, by a biologist Richard Dawkins.

The men dating men analogy fits, cause modern women have masculine traits. And straight men dont want to date masculinity.

Again, you are a cuck. Men aren't cucks. We have basic standards to women. You don't. No man wants his woman to be f'd bt other dudes. Get some help dude.

[Staximus]

I don’t one what country you’re from, but there’s not many virgins older than 20 in the US and Europe, almost none in Latin American countries. It’s not 1897 anymore, buddy. Time to check back into fucking reality

[Mark_Est]

No, you cuck. I am not from cuckistan. Where almost every woman is a low value std farmer. Where apparently you are from.

Sure, there are bunch of cucks here too. But there are plenty of good women who are virgins in their 20s.

Weak cucks like you who have no standards for women are the problem

[Staximus]

Time to check back into reality, dipshit. Finding adult virgin women here in Southern California is nearly impossible unless they are fat as a house, ugly as a mud bird, or some religious wacko

[Staximus]

So unless you go to China or Japan where women have no social skills, or get some fat nerd girl, or go to some Muslim shit hole, or find some religious lunatic you’re not gonna find an adult virgin woman you fucking idiot

[Staximus]

No, you’re just an idiot living in fantasyland. Welcome to the 21st century, dipshit

[Staximus]

Where do you think a guy my age id going to fund an adult virgin you fucking idiot

[Staximus]

At a convent?

[Staximus]

Welcome to real life, idiot. Time to pull your head out of your ass and check back into reality

[Mark_Est]

You sound like a whiny old cuck. That's what your problem.

There a plenty of virgin women aged 20-30.

If you are too fat and broke to attract any quality women then again, that is your problem.

It has nothing to do with the century. Its those beta generations that you belong to that caused all that std farming and cucking crap in the first place. With your beta ways.

You low value dudes edged women on to be street bicycles so maybe then you would get laid too. Cause you have no standards or self respect. Now you whine that there are no virgins to pick from.

What a joke man.

[LiamJHayden]

A lot of guys come on strong in an attempt to :hit it: and lose interest afterwards or when the lady does not get seduced quickly.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I don’t get seduced quickly, Is not 1 month too quick?

[SeekerOfTruth007]

You're probably "boring" to whoever is leaving the scene.

There's "Attraction Value" and then there's "Attention Value". Do something that keeps people's attention, and they'll stick around I guess.

[lilBigPotato]

He probably found someone else he is more interested in. Simple as that.

Just move on. If you didn't get past the early dating stage then he's not worth wasting any more energy on.

[NathanDavis]

"I'm an influencer"

I think people get the wrong ideas...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What do you mean?

[NathanDavis]

you say you have an "influencer" account... and it's very well known that a lot of that is not actually that serious

just like the previous guys who were not serious with you

when you're an influencer... they only care about your image and influence, and not who you really are

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That influencer thing I just started, for a month…

[NathanDavis]

yeah... you said that

and you're still giving time and attention to people who will only make time and give attention to you... whenever they make space for it

these are not serious efforts...

and they also give them to many other women as well, not just you

you're all doing the same... and well, that's just how it goes...

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What should I do?

[NathanDavis]

what would you actually want to do really...

would you want a relationship? an exclusive/committed one?

would you want to keep dating casually?

or just meet as many people as you can?

I think it would be a good idea to stablish what do we really want from "these guys"

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Committed relationship

[NathanDavis]

then yeah... maybe skip on all these guys who keep traveling to every port and airport and meet other women at every station... lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He asked me out himself and he is just super hot… My friends told me maybe I should just have a baby from him because he’s just that kind of hot. 🤣

And girls jump over him on social media “I saw you on this street, on that street… Can I get to know?” All the pretty girls.

He texted me and asked me out himself.

[NathanDavis]

see... none of that sounded serious, lol

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Why not? 🤣 I mean what do you mean?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That baby thing was a joke from my friends about how hot he is

[NathanDavis]

I know, lol... that you're kidding

but also... is that all it takes really? for a guy to ask, and you just say yes?

is he in your city at least? or is he in Singapore, Australia, Dubai?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He’s in my city , no he made me laugh tons

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

That’s why I said yes 😁 I don’t think any guy has ever made me laugh that much

[NathanDavis]

well... that's an improvement, a great one too

now just make sure he's not into dating different girls every week... lol

[spartan55]

Other than the influencer/attorney guy has this happened repeatedly?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

There was that German guy too, we were seeing each other for a bit over a month and then boom! Vanish.

I mean, I’ve vanished too, so I am not all that traumatized 😅 But judging by that second guy doing the same after a month marker, now it feels more like a statistic to me.

As for my long term relationships, I had one 3.5 years younger know of it - at 22-26 and then another long distance one at 27-28.

In between those I was the one not wanting to continue dating and getting scared of the commitment, I’ve never actually tried to find a relationship, I was just having fun going on dates.

Now though when I actually feel like I am ready for something real and close to me , they are all over me for like a month and then maybe I can’t deepen things or I don’t know what I do… Just Boom! Vanish…

Makes me feel like they just like me at first and when they start getting to know me they are like “nah, thanks” ? 🤣

[spartan55]

The Nazi joke I bet... 😂 Kidding

[spartan55]

O-M-G humble bragger.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Just taking credits for what they are due to

[spartan55]

Try this:
Just taking credit where credit is due...😛

[loveslongnails]

Maybe it's the men, not you? I think so. Plus, once they find out you live in Antarctica, it's probably a deal break :)

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I mean these ones also live here haha, these 2 I dated are from my city too… We dated about 1 month to each one to explore our connection and now the first one, the German one is still single exploring Malaysia now haha and the second one, just disappeared randomly, after telling me he thought he was getting addicted to me haha, and then shared on his social media some reel about how exes always come back and he is not going to accept back.. 🤣

[loveslongnails]

Where are you really located, in what country? Not that it really matters, but it gives me some reference as to male behavior in your age group.

[MrChinaski]

What's the best relationship you've ever had?

I guess the answer is to do more of what you did then.

[msc545]

Probably because you were not what they were expecting.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What were they expecting?

[msc545]

I have no idea. Maybe you should ask them.

[msc545]

Just so you know, I don't think this is about sex at all. I think it's about something else, but I don't know what the something else is. I've not met you in person, unfortunately and sadly, and thus I don't know enough about you to really know what it is. I have the sense that if I could meet you (and I would), that there would be nothing off-putting about you at all.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I was teasing him all the time and then when he actually brought up something intimate, I leaned back and he said “I figured you out, you’re a tease…” I said “I am and can’t help it, but in truth I am more slow and romantic…”
He disappeared the second day 🤣 Before then we were talking and planning another date

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But for me it was me opening up when I finally stopped teasing and told him that deep down I am slower and romantic.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He also sent me a song he wrote himself and disappeared at night, when I playfully pointed out the next day, he just deflected that and the next day he shared something about how exes ask for forgiveness but you just won’t allow them back anymore 😅

[AcidMan]

Because you look good but spund and smell bad.
You may have put down too many rules before sex pr cooking
Or your exs are pushing them away

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

We didn’t have sex and I do really smell very good and have been told a few times.

[AcidMan]

You say that but what they say make it clear. You need help

[Staximus]

Probably because they weren’t serious and just wanted to fool around

[Bklynbadboy12]

It could be that all the want is sex and when they get it they're gone or they're just flat out intimidated by you.

[ChadThunderCack]

Cuz they wasn't the puss, and if you don't give it up they move on. Simple.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Give it up what?

[Marriage_Survivor]

Hard truth. You're not as hot as you think you are.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I might not and I don’t think I am that hot haha, but plenty of Not That Hot women are in happy relationships aren’t they?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

What does it have to do with them losing interest after a month?

[Marriage_Survivor]

Yes, but they get into them in their youth, so their husband at least gets to enjoy that.

Being an "influencer" is not a real job, and comes off to most men as desperate advertising for leftover women.

Find a local, average man, and treat him like a King. Otherwise prepare for more of the same disappointment.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have a real job too… That I am doing for hobby.

[Marriage_Survivor]

That's about how long I used to entertain a relationship I knew was never going to move forward. especially if she's already having sex with me.

yeah, about a month, max three months. Assuming nothing better comes along.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Most of those marriages end when a woman is not that hot anymore ;) I am not missing out on anything

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t have sex with any of those guys mentioned :)

[Marriage_Survivor]

No they don't.

They end when the woman has lost her beauty, but has also been an entitled child throughout the relationship, and now the kids are moved out.

You need to be more realistic about your expectations. you are not lawyer/doctor/etc wife material, or you'd be that already. how old are you?

[Marriage_Survivor]

Good for you! That's rare these days.

At least you are maintaining your quality. Just have more realistic expectations, and don't shoot for top 10% men. We have a lot of options. I only got locked down because I knocked her up, and am the sort to take responsibility. Which she well knew, probably planned it.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

They ask me out, not me… How’s that me shooting? :)

[Marriage_Survivor]

I'm sure plenty of men who are not high paid professionals have expressed interest in you over the years. You need to be honest with yourself.

[Anonymous]

Well that is what happens when you date funny clowns 😂

[Anonymous]

Are you sleeping with them?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

No….

[Jen_oic]

@lafemmefatale_1 Men lol

[Shrimpenjoyer]

They Just want sex

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I didn’t have sex with either one.

[Shrimpenjoyer]

Yeah but that's what they wanted

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

But they said they wanted a long term relationship on the very first date

[Shrimpenjoyer]

They lying

[kaucky1]

They use you to get other guys

[Godihateyou]

They find out you have a black kid

[Lesbologist]

@Godihateyou lmfao 🤣 Master class.

[Godihateyou]

Master race

[In_Trance]

Your Daddy issues are in plain sight