Guy coworker asked me out for drinks—friendly hangout or date?

[karley55]

I meet this guy at my new job and we just randomly became friends. We have a lot in common and he is nice and respectful. At work we always talked in our chat non stop and then eventually added each other in instagram.

We send each other memes, comment in our stories and talk about the most random stuff. Yesterday he randomly messaged me asking if I would be down to go out for a drink on one of these days… saying that it could be fun.

I’m not sure if is just a friendly hangout or he is interested in me…

What do you guys think?

[Anonymous]

Whether this is a "date" depends on his intentions in asking you to meet him. If you two had discussed this in person or on the phone, you would have a much better read o the situation. That would come from listening to his tone of voice, pace, smiling and laughing, eye contact, etc. And when you got a sense that he was asking for a date, you could have become a bit flirty and gauged his response. Instead. . .

I think your generation is terminally screwed up. You carry on "conversations" through social media, instead of talking on the phone, because you are so technologically advanced. And instead of asking for a date, or asking you to join him for dinner on Friday or Saturday night - which would be a clear sign of it being a date - you usually just talk about "hanging out" or "chillin'". Those are intentionally ambiguous terms so that if one of you rejects the other, you can walk away and say, "Well, it wasn't like it was gonna be a date!"

There is a solution: talk to each other, real voice-to-voice conversations, not DMs. And don't play games about hiding your feelings or desires. But every time I suggest this to a younger person, they respond, "But this is what everybody else does!" It's as if you don't have enough courage to do something that does have an automatic stamp of approval from your peers.

So this is the consequence of your choices.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Dinner on Friday at the movies in a pink Cadillac?

You seem particularly invested in a societal cause whereas this asker doesn't even look worried about the situation. Quite a funny contrast lol

Funny irony also, how you lash at youth and conformity, it almost feels like you're born old and anticonformist

[Opinion Owner]

@Maybe_Maybe_not I will accord your opinion the weight which I believe it deserves.

[Lliam]

He's obviously interested in you.
Going out for drinks is kind of a date, but not a formal date. It's more of a way to see if you are willing to go out with him one-on-one in person.
He's keeping it casual and friendly at first so as not to initiate anything too formal at first.
It's a good way to get to know each other better and gauge the interest level.

If you like him, chatting over a drink is an opportunity to signal your interest. And you can find out if he is seeking a girlfriend and steady relationship.

[Nikki1989]

Just sounds like a friendly hangout. Despite what morons might tell you, going out with people you work with or just people in general doesn't have to be complicated.

[fero266]

How does that happen for people so easily? I hop from job to job cuz everyone hates me and makes my job miserable and undoable

[Alex-Snow]

Maybe it will start out with a hangout and progress? Do you like the guy? Is he around your age? Do you want to take the friendship to the next level?

[karley55]

Yes he is 31 and I’m 29 and yes, he is really fun and my type

[Alex-Snow]

Go for it!

[EveryDayIsPretzelDay]

It's probably exploratory. He's interested in you, sexually or romantically, but he doesn't want to come on too strong or too fast, for fear of making things awkward at work.

Most likely, he's testing the waters, seeing if it's safe to go further with you.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

To me, it could be a way to ask for friendship, but I'd rather invite her to my friend group if I solely had friendship in mind...

So it looks like romantic interested instead

[karley55]

I mean is hard to know because he always sees my stories right away but doesn’t flirt with me big time… so just normal conversation and jokes

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Yup, well, I can relate to that lol, that describes the early talking phase I usually engage in. And it shall look ambiguous to you because frankly it is !

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

but then some people like ambiguity, I do, for a time at least

[yellowsombrero]

Sounds like he wants to see if you would be potential dating material. So maybe just see it as a casual hangout with no pressure.

See where it goes from there.

[Iron_Man]

Obviously, he likes you just be careful every time you get together you don’t need to drink alcohol. It’s not good for the brain cells and that could be a bad habit

[karley55]

Yes thank you! Yeah I’m not much of a drinker anyways

[Iron_Man]

Have a good time and I’m glad that you’re not

[Anonymous]

Think he has interest in you going
sit have a drink talking having opportunity to see the real you when
one on one no interruption plus looking
straight into your eyes

[slatyb]

That's a date. If it's one on one, it's an expression of interest.

[bowenw]

He must be interested in you and wants to get to know you better.

[Jersey2]

It is a hangout and could lead to dates. It’s a get to know you thing.

[leviopperman]

guys don't just talk to girl randomly. he wants sex

[lilBigPotato]

He's testing the waters.

[karley55]

Testing the waters to see if I’m into him?

[CubaPirate]

Accept the invite go along and take things from there

[Smegskull]

Where did he ask you to go?
just the two of you or with other friends?

[Anonymous]

Go out. let him tell you if it was a date or hangout

[WhitneySnow]

He’s interested!

[Bykurs10]

Uh looking like a date

[_Jenny_]

@karley55 just being friendly

[Anonymous]

If you don’t know how would we?

[alina_521]

Maybe interested honey

[In_Trance]

Wants to smash

[karley55]

You know usually I would think that but he doesn’t seem like that and has never made sexual comments or suggestions

[In_Trance]

Give it time. He will

[karley55]

Well duhhh lol

[In_Trance]

So then... Why did you ask this

[MasterKS]

anything possible.