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If you genuinely feel like he’s trying to hide his transactions from someone else then just leave him alone girl. Personally I have done the same thing as him. For me it’s like a mentation where once the money is out of my account I can’t miss it and I know whatever is being spent comes from that specific bunch of cash. However I am just speaking for myself, as anyone who comments will be doing and our voices may not be applicable to what he’s doing. So go with your gut. This sounds like a moderately new connection so it should be no sweat off your brow to cut it off.
"Cut it off girl" 🤦🏻♂️
Instead of telling her that he's a good guy and why do you care about how he's paying, he just paid the bill and that's all, just be thankful, you tell her to cut him 😒
No wonder why men these days hates to date anymore and just use girls for sex!
Tony, she is the one whose peace of mind is being affected, not yours. You can’t dictate how people think or how they interpret something, so if it’s weirding her out that he’s paying with cash then yeah she should leave it alone. Also, how do you know he’s a good guy? You’ve never met him personally, you’re just making that assertion because he paid for the date, which most me do anyway.
Okay i understand, but each guy pay the bill for a specific reason, a girl will wait to see if he paid because he has good or bad intentions but in this scenario she's blaming the man on why he paid in cash, isn't it weird? 🤷🏻♂️
If a person is going to live their lives make assumptions about everything before knowing the truth than they will end up not going out of their house and not talking to anyone because you have suspicions in everything and in everyone, it's not healthy, this is some sort of a mental illness...
She can do whatever she wants, just wanted to make a point so she doesn't regret it later!
Personally i always pay in cash, if people are going to think about me like her than no one will talk to me anymore and i haven't done anything wrong, you get what i'm saying right 🤷🏻♂️
You’re essentially saying that it doesn’t matter how he paid, just be grateful, which I totally agree with. However, I don’t think this is about lack of gratitude, just discomfort with the method of payment. As I stated in my initial comment, I also have paid with cash, and for me personally it’s just a mentality that “the money is out of my account so I can’t miss it, and I know whatever is being spent comes from that specific bunch of cash”. But this is just me, and I know everyone is different.
We all have at least one trait about us that someone on the outside won’t understand, won’t agree with; but they don’t need to live their lives with the same morals and values that I carry. They haven’t walked my path to know what brought me to certain ways of thinking, and the same goes for you. Based off a lot of these comments from other Users, the major consensus is that him using cash to pay shouldn’t be a big deal. However, I’m not a fan of gaslighting anyone and so I can’t dictate how she feels about it.
If it’s a personal issue or concern for her then she’s entitled to her boundary and should just leave the guy alone. Then he can go find a woman who doesn’t mind him using cash, and she can find a man who is mainly digital. I think that very early stage of dating (I say this because it’s sounds like it was a first date) is the time to be strictly intentional, before all those deeper feelings get involved and it’s much harder to cut ties down the road than right now. There should be no guilt tripping, no hard feelings on either end at this early stage and one person should respect the other acting in their own best interest. No need to hang in there, keep trying, like this isn’t a marriage or long term relationship.
I agree and thanks for clarifying 👍🏻
Some people are like this. It is uncommon but not necessarily a red flag.
I use cash for everything I do day to day I only use my debit card to pay bills I don't use my credit card for anything as a matter of fact the only time that I do use it is if I go on vacation and that's only if I need it
I get it like this if if I can't pay cash for it then I probably shouldn't be doing it
I do this. Mostly because a some of my work i do is cash in hand that i dont pay tax on and if I put it into the bank the tax man will wonder where that money came from.
Its entirely possible he's married and going to restaurants will show up on his bill that his wife can see.
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Why is it a flag to pay cash now? Smh.
Ooooh, unless you think he’s trying to hide his identity and location to hide from people chasing him? 😂😂😂
It’s neither , I prefer using cash over my debit card in most cases so I can keep track of my spending without bouncing my account t , I mainly use my account t for bills period
If he pays cash for your date, that generally means he's good at managing his money. That should be a green flag for you, not yellow or red.
Why would it be a warning flag if he wants to pay with cash? He might not like to use credit cards, but prefers to use cash so he knows how much he has available to spend on any given day, especially for run of the mill daily expenses such as meals. If he were buying an expensive item especially something electrical, when paying by a credit card makes sense as it would immediately put the item under insurance cover. If you think he is hiding his dinners with you I’d suggest that you ask him outright if that is the case.
I think it's a green flag. It means that he has money and isn't running up a credit card.
I try to use cash whenever possible. What's wrong with cash?
Using cash is better for vendors and the community. Cash keeps circulating. And it helps to resist the efforts to institute a cashless society. It also keeps your transactions from being monitored.
I feel the same way about people who don't have a social media presence. I think they are smart.
m In such a specific context I do not see reasons to "assume the worst in people" so there's that.
As a few people said here, this can totally be money management related, without more than that to it. Plus he didn't even try to hide it, in your description, he casually gave reasons instead
Nah I didn’t assume, I was being curious. He also didn’t tell me until I asked why doesn’t he used cards for paying bc it made me confuse if he doesn’t have cards where he asked me to pay with my card and he will give me cash. I never had a guy asked me. So I asked in return after paying.
You’re assuming that I’m assuming or judging me for even asking including some other people here… yalls too serious… I was simply curious bc this isn’t typical date mannerism for me.
Ah, then it is a sequence of assumptions assuming assumptions, it can be a never-ending game lol
But no, seriously, let's not play this one, I won't mind if you assume the worst in people, and I won't mind if you don't. I'm still at the purely speculative and interpretative phase, not yet at the judgement phase, I assure you !
Back to the situation itself, whether it is money management related or not, I would just ask him questions about money management. And then I'd gradually decide if I find that consistent with everything else said. Over time. I mean interacting with people, is a casual question game to me
I didn’t ask him about money management out of respect bc it’s rude and sounds superficial on a first date….. I wanted to give him a fair chance despite having my guards up because it made me feel weird since it’s not typical for my experience as I mentioned. If we see each other again, I’ll see how it goes. I’ll try to not judge and be open minded as he was nothin but super nice and nervous with me. I can tell he really want to give me a good first impression and he was even shaking when he hold my hand. I feel like I should try to give him a benefit of doubt but I’m just cautious. I was just scare he was lying to me in any mean which I hate when guys do that even on first dates.
Yup, I wouldn't ask money management questions either, timing is off for now I agree. I understand your caution, even if I don't make great use of it myself as it takes me a good while to feel invested anyway. You can totally give benefit of doubt and be cautious simultaneously, I think it's a nice combo to have, in dating, but also in life :)
It's unusual these days to pay cash for everything. It could only be a flag if you think he's hiding something from a girlfriend or wife, so your dates won't show up on a credit card bill.
But why assume this, as most people are saying. You need to know more about this guy. Give it some time.
Maybe he has had bad experiences with women in the past and until he gets to know you well, he doesn't want you to be able to find and harass him if things don't work out. Plenty of women are known for sabotaging a man's life if he isn't interested in her, especially his employment.
u It’s not a yellow or red flag.. cash is a perfectly acceptable form of currency. You’re the weird one here.
His reasoning behind it
Seems valid to me. If anything I think it’s smart.. cash isn’t traceable.
Yeah that’s another reason why I was weirded bc I wonder if he don’t wanna be trace? I just hope he’s not taken
Im with petite here. I see no reason to think this is weird
@petitedollbabee well said!
It's kind of a red flag , because he could be Married , and that's why he would want to keep it separate. The other thing is that he could be poor and not bankable , but trust me , it's one of the two
I have a feeling he don’t have a lot of money… but what I’m more worry if he’s taken.. but I don’t like lies either way.
Okay , the way to get to the bottom of this is Finding out weather, he just didn't want to swipe it. Because the amount was large , or if he didn't want to swipe at all because he was hiding the transactions from someone else.
If You don't like lies. You should probably run now. There's definitely some dishonesty going on. If it's a matter of poverty , he would always use cash all the time everywhere. He would likely not even have cash app or pay paypal , or if he did , he would rarely use them if at all because they would either be in the negative or very near it
I reckon he probably got paid cash for something and decided to use that cash instead of his card for a while. Not everyone deposits every dollar into the bank the moment they receive it.
What I find interesting is how quickly some women look for a red flag when they're going on a date.
Do you know what most guys are looking for on a date?
Not hidden warning signs. Not reasons to leave.
They're looking for a girlfriend, and hopefully one day, a wife.
He may have been worried he was close to his limit on the card and didn't want to be embarrassed by having it rejected, so he paid cash instead. That's understandable if he was with you and he didn't really want to talk about the problem in front of you.
No need to look for red flags. I pay all my bills through my account, but feel that for smaller expenses, I control it better when I have a certain amount of cash that will cover most of these during any given month.
Why wouldn't you just take his word for it? If you are going to be questioning and doubting things like this he won't stick around long.
What's wrong with paying with cash? I mean short of you suspecting him being a drug dealer (paying with all big bills). I don't see why that'd be relevant. His explanation checks out. But i also don't get why you had to pay.🤔 The place you went todidn't accept cash?😆
I don't care what he uses to pay... I probably wouldn't even notice or ask him about it 🤷♀️
What matters is that he paid the bill, it's a noble act miss potato chips
@TonyMetal___86 I do notice if someone puts in some effort, I just don't pay attention to irrelevant details.
Right because you shouldn't, it's like if someone treated you good, you start asking yourself about why he's treating me good 🤷🏻♂️
No, Not really, some guys may not feel atthat time, to pull out a credit card anbd just use cash for now, especially ona fitsr date. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
It can be a red flag for reasons that others have pionted out but I paid in cash for almost everything. It's to risky having untrustworthy government departments and AI analysing your bank statements.
Makes absolutely ZERO difference , cash is King , legal tender and it's great he is using it , may that never change.
The man paid the bill, instead of saying thank you, you're having doubts ans red flags 🤦🏻♂️ are you for real?
What's the difference between paying cash or by card? The most important thing is that HE paid 🤦🏻♂️
It is a potential problem if he is using cash so he wife/girlfriend cannot question the restaurant charge on his credit card statement.
Quite rhe opposite. It means he is not so strapped for cash that he can't spend 60 or 70 bucks on a date without putting it on a credit card.
It is sounds like a good way to be financially responsible. He has to use the cash he has, so he probably spends less on frivolous things. Green flag.
Who pays by cash anymore.
I just pay by card. Card now 💳
Yeah he doesn't want it showing up on his bank statement.
That's a red flag. He's paying cash so that his wife or partner doesn't see the expense.
Cash is freedom.
'Cards' are bank slavery.
You don't deserve that man.
Meh. I used cash quite a lot until COVID. It's old school but not suspicious.
Could be that he has a partner and he doesn’t want her to see this transaction on the bank statement.
Girl I literally just said that on my other comment here 😭😭😭 it’s another reason why I felt weird. I was guarded the whole date after it.. I felt so bad cuz he is so nice but I just felt weird..
No not at all. Some might think it’s a red flag that some use a credit card because you don’t have any money. You have to charge everything
How about just being happy that he's paying? Credit cards are a debt trap for thousands of people! Don't judge!
The cynic in me says, "He uses cash so his wife won't see the expense on the bank or credit card statement.
He might be a drug dealer or an old school pre-Uber cab driver, depending on how much cash he flashed
for me that is completely neutral. what's wrong with cash?
Yeah, he doesn't want his wife to know what he's doing.
He is paying for your dinner to give him a yellow or red flag just based on the payment method. I think I know who the real red or yellow flag is.
I would say the reverse.
Using a card to pay for everything is the red flag. Taking out debt constantly is crazy irresponsible with money.
Green flag, dude just doesn't want to be enslaved by the banking cabel
Neither , some people still only use cash
That's not a flag at all
Whats wrong with cash payments?
Why would that be a red flag lol
why the fuck did he pay you back?
I don't think so.
Yellow flag
Reason?
No, it's fine.
Yellow Flag
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