Was he leading me on, or did I misread his online flirting?

[Anonymous]

This is gonna sound very weird and confusing cause I am still very fucking confused.

I met this guy online, and be seemed cool we exchanged discords and were talking. I even gave him my number.

I have known him over a week. But he's been so flirty that maybe I have developed feelings cause we slept called.
But this guy was clearly flirting we, slept called and were OBVIOUSLY flirting. Asking if we would snuggle if he was here.
Telling me I am different. I told him it was too soon to be telling me this stuff because of this reason.

Like now he's saying he wouldn't date and he doesn't know how I look like.

I dont get it. I know it was a week but dont make it seem like you werent flirting with me and making comments on cuddling with me and then make it seem like that was normal to do with your friends? Then back pedal again and say he didn't know where it was gonna go?


Was it me? I need a man's perspective. Cause this shit is making no sense.

Updates

18 d

Like I have never had this happen before. I was honestly taken back by it. I dont usually do this online stuff usually I know where I stand with people but this was out of line in my opinion.

[HollyK21]

After reading in the other conversation that you blocked the guy, I honestly wouldn’t even have this on my mind anymore. It was one week, be glad he showed his true colors before you had a chance to catch any serious feelings. He sounds like a finesser, saying all these things to women but having no intent behind them. Weird activity but I wouldn’t even waste my time trying to understand that mindset.

[Asker]

It was so weird. I kinda figured as how easy it was to talk to me like that he was definitely doing it to other women.

It's strange behavior.

[HollyK21]

It most certainly is. I’ve had random men try sliding into my DMs on IG, or trying to add me on Snapchat without knowing me. I feel like these are desperate men playing roulette, seeing which woman gives them the time of day, and then seeing what they can get from them, if anything. You are most likely not the only one he messaged, but maybe another woman who replied was more fun or open, maybe he doesn’t have to work as hard for her, or any number of things. I just wouldn’t give it anymore energy than you already have. You don’t have to understand this guy, you’re never going to speak with him again and life goes on to more interesting situations.

[InknKink]

He was trying to signal match you but didn't gauge his response appropriately. You tapped the breaks and he freaked out, pulling the parachute. Things spiralled out of his control.

He had the right idea but he over-reacted and didn't use finesse.

The intended goal is to pull back subtly so that you're then left with a feeling that the interactions are lacking. The natural response to that is to then seek out the missing component of previous interactions but without the hesitancy; two steps forward one step back.

People like to laugh at interactions like that and shit talk the guy but these sorts of interactions are mandatory for men. Learning seduction is a slow and arduous task but a necessary one.

Honestly, women here bashing him for trying and thinking they knew his end goal is just stupid. Their levels of tact are on par with the mans own.

[slatyb]

It doesn't make sense to me either. Sounds like a waste of time.

[Asker]

It really was LMAO

[jimbob70]

Sorry people on line tell you anything to get you in bed trying to get you to fall f or all his B S. I know women on here believe that crap wind up hurt without nothing. B carefuĺ you could be all over the internet

[envyentertainment]

It depends on intent, but from what you’ve described, it’s often less “he was leading you on” and more “online flirting felt clearer than it actually was.”

Flirting online can be playful, attention-seeking, or situational without a clear plan to follow through. If he was inconsistent, never moved things forward, or didn’t make real-life effort, then it was likely more casual on his side.

That doesn’t mean you were wrong to read interest, it just means interest and intention didn’t match. Misreads like this are really common with online flirting.

A simple rule: if someone is genuinely interested, their actions usually move things forward, not just their words.

[Finchie40]

If he doesn’t know what you look like, then he was clearly just fantasy flirting with yoo , over the phone , he was probably jerking off while doing so. Because why the hell would you want to cuddle with someone you don’t even know what they look like lol

[RedAlertAdvisor]

From a guy's perspective, I think both things can be true.

He was probably genuinely flirting, enjoying the attention and connection, but that doesn't automatically mean he wanted a relationship.

The biggest clue for me is that after a week of talking he was comfortable discussing cuddling, calling, and emotional connection, but when it came to dating, he stepped back.

That doesn't necessarily mean he was leading you on. It may simply mean he enjoyed the fantasy more than the reality.

I wouldn't focus on whether he flirted. I would focus on the outcome: he is currently saying he doesn't want to date.

When someone's words and actions stop matching, the actions usually tell the real story.

[Yoursweetgirl]

He was just leading you on and definitely didn't want something serious. Good that you blocked him and didn't fall for his stuff

[Asker]

I just wanted some feedback to see if I was crazy or not LOL but thank you. :))

[Anonymous]

He’s leading you on. He probably wanted nudes or sexting or both.

[Asker]

Most likely! I blocked his ass. It was the "oh is flirting a crime?" Actually it is when you're leading someone on

[Opinion Owner]

You did the right thing

[Asker]

Thank you. It was just so annoying. I feel so stupid LOL

[Nikki1989]

How is it feasible to flirt online. 90% of flirting is body langauge and facial cues. Online it is dead cold.

[Asker]

It's very easy to flirt online. 😂

[Iron_Man]

You’re making too much out of nothing he’s just being sweet with you and he likes you don’t ask him a bunch of weird questions about that. You’re gonna turn him off.

[samael_kmarty]

Lost interest,
You said something he didn't like.
Or just busy.
Meet him up maybe things will spark again.
I like to talk in person, only issue Is I can flirt online but offline I am shit.

[Anonymous]

Really may misreading
Nothing wrong with asking. What kind
Relationship you seeking here on line

[_Jenny_]

It’s hard to say