Am I overreacting to my long-distance boyfriend hiding details about a coworker on Instagram?

[RavenWing057]

We’ve been together for 2 years and been doing long distance for about 9 months now.

I was asking him about his instagram and if he still talked to anyone from there. He had deleted a lot of girls on there himself when I was insecure from before.

I asked him the other night about this one girl and he told me that she was one of his bartenders that worked under him from before we met. Immediately I got very mad, a while ago when I had asked him, he had told me that she’s just a daughter of another lady that followed him on there. I was under the impression that he worked with the mom from another country. Completely left the part out that daughter worked for him, said her mom came in once or twice and that was it.

He thinks that I’m mad that I think there may have been more going on between him and this girl. I’m mad that he leaves things out on purpose. He says I got things mixed up. I don’t feel like I did, I feel like I would remember someone that he mentioned he worked with.

[Calyptomaniac]

Everyone seems to overreact in long-distance relationships because you're not around, you don't know what's really going on them. You only know what they tell you. You don't know if it's true. You get paranoid naturally because of the uncertainty and unknowability. Even if he got his explanations mixed up instead of you, ultimately, is this really anything serious? Just being friends with someone on instagram is really not as big of a deal as people make it. If he isn't giving you reasons to distrust him, then I wouldn't make a huge deal out of this.

[Anonymous]

Honestly you sound like you’re too much. If I was him I’d get frustrated w you. Sounds like you’re going to be on him all the time about this, about that. If you don’t trust him then breakup w him. He doesn’t have to explain everything to you. It gets annoying. It’s tiring. Not to mention you already asked him about it before, now you’re asking him again? You have issues. It’s going to get to the point where he tells you he can’t do this.

[Anonymous]

Lets take a step back. You are long distance which relies entirely on trust, I dont understand how knowing he is following an old coworker is a problem it doesn't sound like she is important to him, and its Healthy to have a social circle outside your relationship. Secondly, he now knows that honesty will be met with anger which does the opposite of what you want.

[RavenWing057]

It’s not about the follows but moreso how it seems the story changed. I remembered the focus was on the mom during the initial conversation. Then the other night he says the daughter worked with him and he only met the mother once or twice. I just sound it weird how he could’ve left that part out initially.

[RavenWing057]

I do take into account your secondly though. You make a very good point there. I find it difficult to not get mad at things like this because why can’t he just have said that in the first place? If he leaves things out then I’m left to fill those spaces in.

[Opinion Owner]

Let me ask you a question, why did you ask the first time. And then why did you ask again? From what im seeing, he gave a little info and then expanded when you focused on her again

[Opinion Owner]

I could be wrong, but like I said he's your partner and love needs trust to survive

[bowenw]

I don't believe you are overreacting because he is not being transparent with you about the other women in his life, plus he seems to be caught in a lie over the bartender.