How do I follow up about a date without seeming pushy?

[Anonymous]

I recently asked out the girl i like in person, we mostly interact and talk in person, and dont really text yet.

Anyway, a few days after i asked her out, i asked if she was free on a particular day, and she said she wasn't as she had to do something with her mother. I then asked if she's free another day, and she said she'll check and will let me know.

Its now been a week since she said she'll let me know and she hasn't followed up yet, we've seen eachother twice but not had a real chance for a proper conversation, and the date that she would let me know is in about 1 week. She's also only available on sundays during the day time, but i feel like it would be awkward to suggest another activity at night time (?).

Should i just wait it out and give her time to let me know? Or follow up again with her? and how to follow up with being pushy or looking desperate?

[HollyK21]

If I were you I’d let her come to me, mainly because this could be her trying to relay a rejection without actually having to say it. Yes, that could sound confusing because she did initially agree so in your head it’s probably like why say Yes if it’s really a NO, but this is a tale as old as time — people agreeing to something when they really shouldn’t have. I’ve done it a number of times in my life and really had to work on feeling comfortable saying No to someone’s face. Irrational fears of confrontation are a real thing.


I also advise you leave it alone for now because you’ve already followed up on asking her out, she knows interested and she can safely assume that you are waiting on an answer, because of the fact you followed up. Asking her again, within like a day of the time range she gave, does seem pushy after previously asking twice. So I think you should redirect your focus elsewhere and let her speak up if she really is interested. If she doesn’t say anything, then I think that will be the answer she doesn’t feel comfortable stating. And yes, we can take into account that she’s super busy but in my opinion that’s even more reason not to push for this because she may not even have the time to date, while on the flip side, you do. I could eventually see that becoming a bother for you, trying to spend time with her, and gradually tapping her shoulder about carving out more time to spend that she doesn’t have.

[Anonymous]

If she wants to go out, she is waiting for you to call. There's no reason not to, she already knows whether it's yes or no. Always. Your calling or not calling will not change the answer, you'll just miss out if you don't call and was a yes.

[Nikki1989]

Another one for the "why the hell was this posted anonymously" file.

[In_Trance]

Call her