Do people who refuse to settle ever actually ever end up finding spouses?

[Anonymous]

From what I've seen, most of these types never actually end up finding anyone. They just keep expecting their perfect person to arrive. 90% of the time, it never happens. The higher your standards, the harder it is to find someone

[HollyK21]

For me personally, refusing to settle has paid off, and it isn’t because I had ridiculously high standards while dating, or because I sought out perfection — there is no perfect person. It’s simply because I refused to accept anything less than at least the baseline of what should be expected within a relationship.

[Asker]

depends on what your baseline is or whether or not it is reasonable.

[HollyK21]

That’s fair enough.

[BCRanger10]

In most cases, I think yes. Having high standards is okay, but you also have to be realistic. You can't expect someone at only 19 or 20 years old to have the maturity and experience of someone who was 40 years old in 1986 and had already been married for 15 or 20 years by then.

In a way, you almost do have to to settle to a certain extent. Part of being in a long-term relationship (i. e., marriage) is accepting that the person you're with more often than not won't be the "whole package", that you probably won't hit the jackpot. You have to acknowledge, understand, and accept that the person you choose to love (oh yeah, also, love ultimately is a choice, whereas attraction is spontaneous) has flaws, weaknesses, insecurities, that they may not have the physique or the occupation you'd wanted. Love involves sacrifice, and sometimes, that's means sacrificing what you'd originally desired.

By all means, maintain your values and have a sense of direction of where your life is going. But you also need to be willing to accept that the one you choose - and chooses YOU - may not perfectly the mold you'd cast.

[Nikki1989]

Many people live in a delusional bubble and then wonder why they can't find a realtioship. This website is full of those people, and they are mostly anonymous users, so what does that tell you?

[Anonymous]

I don't even have an option to settle down. I'm not picky, but I'm lucky to get a single match on dating apps. Women seem to check me out and show interest, but they never doing anything of substance.

[Asker]

What's wrong with you showing interest?

[LazerBean]

Some do, some don't. Depends on how much they themselves have to offer and how intelligent they are about finding a spouse.

[Anonymous]

It depends what you mean by that. Because who you are at 18, is not who you are at 40. Nor will you be talked to and judged the same. Some people still got a lot of maturing to do at 18. Some still do at 40. And some never will.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

I'd rather not wake up every morning and think "what am I doing"

[Anonymous]

So what? They would rather be single for the rest of their life than to settle anywaj.

[Anonymous]

no, they don’t